Open hearts are easily stomped on
Dec. 20th, 2003 12:48 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
chinrest.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
multiplicity_archivesI give too much of myself and end up swallowing the consequences. Fuck everyone. Fuck all you users who think I'll just do anything cos I'm nice. And fuck you fleurj for not being consistent. I have $110. I think I'll run away. Go destroy this body where no-one can find it! 19 antipsychotics is all it will take and valium for the dogs. *poof* gone. Maybe then people will reflect on who I was and apreciate me.
Ya dont know what ya got till it's gone.
So goodbye ppl/users/fuckheads/drug fucked idiots/cowards who wont take their own lives.
I'm outta here!!!
Ya dont know what ya got till it's gone.
So goodbye ppl/users/fuckheads/drug fucked idiots/cowards who wont take their own lives.
I'm outta here!!!
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 06:23 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 06:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 06:34 am (UTC)Take it from a dead guy: Death is never worth it.
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Date: 2003-12-19 06:39 am (UTC)I've been to 26 funerals in my life. One was my gf in march. I know all about the other side and thats where I wanna be.
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Date: 2003-12-19 06:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 06:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 06:47 am (UTC)Maybe if the drugs aren't working, it's something that can be dealt with without drugs.
I thought you were taking your abuser(s) to court? Did that not work out?
no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 06:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 06:55 am (UTC)(Despite having never been abused myself, sexual abuse is one of the things that I cannot tolerate.)
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Date: 2003-12-19 06:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 06:57 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 07:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 07:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 07:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 06:54 am (UTC)Okay, I know your're probably not going to listen to me, but at least read this. Please.
Don't kill yourself- think about the others who are going to die with you.
I don't know you, but I assume you are multiple (you are posting in a multiple community), therefore you are not the only person in that body, and so if you kill said body everyone else will die as well.
Take your own life, fine, but don't take everyone else's.
Remember that your actions have consequences, and effect more than just you.
I knew someone who committed suicide. They were so depressed they thought there was no point to living, there was no reason for them to carry on living the life they had, so they ended it by jumping off the side of a building and splattering themselves all over a road (excuse the language please, I'm trying to get my point across).
This person was my best friend, practically the only friend I have ever had (I no longer have any).
I had to deal with the consequences of his actions, with his funeral, with his family, with his boss, with his stupid dog, and with the pain he caused me by dying.
No matter how alone you feel, or depressed, or just angry, please think about what you are doing.
You said in your post that you are nice, and have an open heart. Even if no one seems to care, someone somewhere does.
I don't claim to know a damned thing about the afterlife, reincarnation, anything like that. But I do think that we are here for a reason, no matter how invisible that reason is, and that we should make the best use of our time here as we can.
Don't do anything stupid until you have calmed down, please.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 07:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 07:18 am (UTC)There must be something good, to counterbalace the shit.
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Date: 2003-12-19 07:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 07:44 am (UTC)I tried, your on you're own now.
For what it is worth, I care (but if you are really planning on killing your dogs then I'm afraid I no longer care).
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Date: 2003-12-19 08:04 am (UTC)WORD. Even thinking about doing that is despicable. Dogs enjoy life and like people, and dogs deserve better than this crap.
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Date: 2003-12-19 08:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 08:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 08:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 08:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 08:46 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 08:59 am (UTC)Look, I really do think you should rethink your options, and it's good that you intended to tell your friends, but when you act like this it makes people wonder why you bothered to post anything in the first place.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 09:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 11:07 am (UTC)I've never met someone spamming their suicide notes to more than one community, though. Congrats.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 12:51 pm (UTC)I don't know if you've thought of this before but if you are multiple you do not have the right to commit suicide. It is not your body nor it is your life. You share that body and life with the other members of your system whether you choose to see them as people or not. You do not have the right to deny them of their body and their life. You don't want to live? That's fine. Let someone else take over and run the body and the life. Go on a permanent vacation. But you don't have the right to kill the body and end someone else's life.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 04:18 pm (UTC)Not saying that your opinion is wrong, just that sometimes there is more than one side to any story.
Protection is a word that is open to a variety of meanings *and* connotations.
Mandala
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Date: 2003-12-19 05:06 pm (UTC)You're not protecting anyone by trying to off the body. All you're doing is making sure that any new people that don't have your hang ups or any of the currently suicidal ones that might come to enjoy life never get a chance. Protecting them would be making sure the body's safe until the suicidal urges have passed. Protecting them would be setting aside what they want *now* and doing what's best for them in the long run.
Not that suicide's a good example but it's not protecting anyone if you go around doing the things everyone else is afraid to do. All you're doing is enabling them so that they never have to face their fears. You're keeping them weak by not making them to grow.
But I can tell from your other posts that you're not going to listen to any of this so you know what? If you're going to go on and on about how it's your right to kill yourself and how you're helping everyone in your system, stop attempting and get it right.
- A
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Date: 2003-12-19 01:27 pm (UTC)--love, Checkers.
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Date: 2003-12-19 01:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 01:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 01:41 pm (UTC)"Fuck everyone. Fuck all you users...So goodbye ppl/users/fuckheads/drug fucked idiots/cowards who wont take their own lives."
That's supposed to make people reflect on who you were and appreciate you? Sorry, but it doesn't work that way. Even if you left a sweet and sorrowful note telling everyone you love them and you're sorry and you never meant to hurt them but you just can't go on... those who cared for you would still be furious with you for copping out like that, and for valuing their caring so little.
I've had three friends commit suicide, and if they would have heard in advance what people said after, maybe they wouldn't have done it. One, especially, would doubtless have been very chagrined to realize that he'd permanently left the memory of himself as a coward... because suicide IS an intrinsically cowardly act, and once done, there's no undoing it.
If you choose to die, no one can stop you, but don't delude yourself that it's some sort of courageous act, nor that people are going to feel all guilty about your choice. Keep in mind also that frequently people who attempt suicide don't die... they just permanently damage their bodies. That doesn't seem like much of a solution to your problems.
If you're going to kill your dogs, at least have the decency to do them first, so when they are vomiting, choking and convulsing in the last moments of their innocent lives, at least they will be with the person they love. Surely you owe them that much comfort... and being dogs, they will never realize that you're the one who's murdered them.
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Date: 2003-12-19 04:23 pm (UTC)You can't live for other people. At some point it becomes a question of quality of your life. At that point it's up to each individual(s) to decide what's right for them. It may hurt those they love, but if you really love someone you wouldn't want to condemn them to a life of pain just to make yourself feel better. That's selfish, self-centered and cold-hearted.
I'm sorry that you've lost people you love, but sometimes there just isn't anything or anyone *worth* staying alive for and you'd rather be dead. That's a valid viewpoint and a valid feeling every bit as much as the viewpoint that you're committing an awful sin by taking your own life.
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Date: 2003-12-20 10:06 am (UTC)xx
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Date: 2003-12-19 02:39 pm (UTC)You posted this thing and didn't expect replies until the next day? This is a livejournal for multiples. SOMEone is always awake.
no subject
Date: 2003-12-19 02:44 pm (UTC)Or something.
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Date: 2003-12-19 02:55 pm (UTC)Punky