Existential Multiple Flamewar!

[netdancer.livejournal.com]

Things have been a bit heavy here, so I offer up this word game as a contribution where everyone can be as clever, unclever, silly or whatever. This is an Existential Flamewar...just post a reply in the theme of the post above you. I'll start.

***********************

Rambly rant posted at three AM on Monday night, broken into paragraphs and obviously the work of several members of the posting System. It complains about lack of content to read on the Internet, cold feet, bad coffee and misbehaving cats, and somehow comes around to blaming all this on People Who Pretend To Be Multiple, Damn Them. Then the original poster apologizes profusely for system mates and proclaims that bed is needed.

Next?

Comments

[coldironkiss.livejournal.com]

Cat macro containing barbed statement about the original posters.

Accusation of prejudiced and meeeeean viewpoint that is not even implied by the original post.

Lengthy statement of completely unrelated gripe about the multiple community. Conclusion by generalization that this proves something derogative about people in general.

Poorly spelled, grammar-free expression by the system's little, requesting ice cream.

Admission that the system is drunk, and totally irrelevant excuse for why this is so.

Threat to quit the community and start a new one with all our friends. Statement of irrelevant criteria proving our system is much better than yours in every way.

[coldironkiss.livejournal.com]

Scolding of other system member and corrections to statement about unrelated gripe, overdramatizing the effect of said gripe upon the entire system and pleading some trendy self-diagnosis as an excuse for not simply accepting the subject of the gripe.

Denial that the system is drunk, and besides it's none of your business anyway.

Multi-paragraph dissertation on why the lil should not have ice cream now.

[pengke.livejournal.com]

Ha ha. I've so made that post only it was someone else coming in at the end to send me to bed and there was lots of alcohol involved.

[ex-suhina987.livejournal.com]

Moses-like post, coming down from the mountain and all that shit, telling us the ten new rules of multiplicity, none of which have been spell or grammar-checked.

Many emoticons that look like this: O.o

Flame on! Blue Jello!

100th post!

I'm a drunken whore! Boobies!

Member banned for boobies.

Protest about banning.

Thread hijacked for boobie macros.

Thread deleted.

New thread started about the deletion of the previous thread.

Someone mentions littles having sex. Flame On!

Lovers spat occurs publicly. Suspicions confirmed. Shit thrown.

...no one can remember the original post.

[pengke.livejournal.com]

Wait. Someone has a problem with boobies?

[etana.livejournal.com]

wait...boobies?
I HAS A BOOBIES

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

lol! I've seen that boobies guy before in the astronomy pic of the day feed! XD
LeAnne

[freakshownia.livejournal.com]

"I'm a drunken whore! Boobies!"

...I got the referrence! Yay!

existential multiple flamewar

[wantsacracker.livejournal.com]

It must be our turn to say something snide and unfounded about the poster's (what poster? any poster!) nation of origin and thus divert the conversation entirely.

heh heh

polly people (viola, shell, calypso, just jo, mannie, thea, Cat etc.)

Re: existential multiple flamewar

[rabbitsystem.livejournal.com]

refutes claim about race with unsourced statistics!

[kyanve.livejournal.com]

Long period of lurking and trying to figure out point of post. Commentary on OP's ability to accurately judge internal states of people they don't know, attempting to not sound like an English major is typing and failing.

Comment that at least cats don't chew through wood or have voices that hit 40 decibels.

Random caffeine-induced Invader-Zim joke nobody probably gets.

[freakshownia.livejournal.com]

I'd like to think I'd get the Zim joke ;)

[lb-lee.livejournal.com]

A hyperactive, obviously sugar/crack-induced response agreeing with everything said above and denouncement of other responders as 'not getting it.' Includes badly skewed Lewis Carrol poetry to denounce the monster known as Psuedomulti.

Is later discovered to be a sock puppet journal. Oh noes!

This was a good idea; cookies for all.

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

The collective briefly angsts about the start of the flamewar, then spots the use of 'lolcat' which incites rage in all parties. Spamming of LONG LIVE CATURDAY and IT'S CAT MACROS YOU NOOBS ensues. Pudding is flung.

[lb-lee.livejournal.com]

NO! NOT PUDDING!

[rabbitsystem.livejournal.com]

States that OP should follow this link, and this one, and then read the user info.
Heatedly insists that I Is Real Multiple
Gets sidetracked into discussion of diagnoses

at which point reply is hijacked by headmate

who couches fury and touchy inferiority complex in such English phrasing that only another Englishman will realise that the OP has been in any way insulted.

[liedownlovely.livejournal.com]

Don't forget the crazy spamming of the community that follows.

-J

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

Seven paragraph post about the importance of communication written while lines of communication were down. Post winds up looking like it was written by a first-grader (which half of it was.) First comment is from someone with a flounce and a hatred for cat macros and thread is then highjacked by people who hate their headmates and don't want to communicate. It devolves from there into a discussion on Lilspeak, and from there to the efficacy of LJ's searchfeature and goes every where till no one can remember what the hell the post was about and ends on the topic of lamas for some reason.

[chaostiny.livejournal.com]

me luvs lamas! *GRIN*

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

Netdancer FTW!! COOKIES!!! ::Hands you guys large box of brownies.
We'd never done one of these before and it makes us smile. Thank you!!!

[coldironkiss.livejournal.com]

Complete disregard for prior replies to the system's comments, including those that seem to warrant responses.

Totally unrelated response to another point in the original post, clearly written by one of the system members who has received replies that seem to warrant responses.

And now, the vampire emoticons:

(f;.;)f

.......(f;.;)f

..............(f;.;)f

I chase you and drink your BLOOD!

[etana.livejournal.com]

TRIGGGGGGGERRRRRRRR
flounce

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

I don't have anything cool to say that's funny and #50 is taking too long so

comment #36! woot! ♥

LeAnne

[netdancer.livejournal.com]

OP Returns after sleeping, has NO recollection of original post. Starts to spaz at the size of the thread, then realizes that it isn't Serious Business anymore: decides this is for the best.

Posts a picture of a jello molded oval shape with ambrosia in the middle.

Blue Jello.

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

*Adds lashings of bright yellow banana pudding*

Watch out, that's stuff's almost radioactive!

[etana.livejournal.com]

OMG NOES I AM NOT SUPPORTUD
long post about how no one really gets it and all I wanted was to be heard and don't yous like me and then 30 more replies about how we all love you and then 30 more cat macro!!!
and a bunny with a pancake on her head.

[hellmutt.livejournal.com]

A reply sauntering up far too late, such that both heat and thread of conversation have long dissipated, and proffering pointless and hesitant views on a tangential topic.

Optional: Inadvertent restarting of the entire flame war thanks to a careless word or typo.

Optional #2: Discovery that commenter is not a multiple, despite des never having claimed to be, resulting in acrimonious accusations of treachery, conspiracy and FBI/CIA/Home Office/SixApart espionage.

Optional #3: More acrimony as commenter does not treat spying allegations with due seriousness and instead posts a dog macro claiming to be in somebody's Aston Martin passionately embracing their Bond girl.

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

I don't get the "cat macro" thing. I've seen the cat pictures in here but why is it called a macro? I thought a macro was a set of remembered keys that were saved for like in online games so your character will do things while you're away from the computer and not get you logged out! :/
LeAnne

[tiger-and-i.livejournal.com]

Wikipedia knows everything. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Image_macro)

Tells OP that Wikipedia knows everything, and that they should have looked it up.

[igemelli.livejournal.com]

Total non-sequitur from system little, possibly regarding stuffed animals and/or the "kitties" in previously posted cat macros

~Cutesy little-type sign-off, possibly misspelled

[mirrorbrothers.livejournal.com]

Self-righteous anti-flame rant at OP and three other people chosen at random, demonstrating complete ignorance that the thread is a joke.

[rainne]

thread necromancy by community newcomer two days later for no aprticular purpose.

FTW!