Multiple, maybe.

[tiger-and-i.livejournal.com]

My name is Hannah. 36 hours ago, I realised that the person I thought was my best friend is actually four people. So I looked into plurality, and as I was looking, I came to a realisation.

Tiger may be someone else. At sixth form, I classified my personality into four states, due to finding that most memes would give four different options that I could justifiably choose. One of those was Tiger.

Tiger only comes out when I'm angry, and does things that I'd never dare do. Memories of causes of anger and my reaction are seperate. Some of my earliest memories [I don't remember much from primary school] are what I did when I was angry, and the cause is gone from my mind completley.

I think Tiger could be someone else because I always regret what she does, promise myself I'll never do it again, but I do. The last proper time, it was a week between cause and effect, as that's the length of time between him being incredibly stupid and insulting of my friend, and me seeing him again. I was panicking all week because I knew that I would do something to him. But I did it anyway. Also, I have no control what I do, which is just as scary as what I may do.

I think Tiger may not be someone else because most of the time I can't feel her, and we never talk to each other. Either she's taken over, she's pushing because I'm cross, or I can't tell she's there at all.

I don't know. Is there anyone else out here like this?

Also, if you're here, you're still made of awesome.

EDIT: I have made a list of Tiger-related incidents here.

Comments

[hellmutt.livejournal.com]

Hello and welcome. I'm one of the non-multiples who reads and occasionally comments here.

From what you say I wouldn't immediately conclude that your Tiger is a separate personality. She may be, or she may be completely you, just compartmentalising your aggressive moods - but those aren't the only two choices, because there are also stages in between. You might want to read up a little about aspecting (http://www.kinhost.org/wiki/Main/Aspecting). (Unfortunately I don't have any great links about it; that's a very basic explanation I googled just now.)

(Nice icon, by the way!)

[tiger-and-i.livejournal.com]

Thank you. My mum always seems to be teaching using The Tiger who Came to Tea, but I barely remember it. It just felt right to be the icon.

But back to the subject in hand - Tiger doesn't seem to be what they describe as an aspect, because there are memory issues [when she's out, I don't remember things but that's because I'm busy attempting to be painful] as cause and effect become separate memories. Also, I do feel like I'm not in control when she's out.

But I shall go find out more about aspecting. Thank you.

[tiger-and-i.livejournal.com]

Oh my. Only that link in the first 10 pages of google.co.uk, searching aspecting -astrology, and even so about half the results were astrological.

[tiger-and-i.livejournal.com]

That sounds more like me than the link on aspecting above.

I'm not looking for the psychiatric viewpoint, I'm looking for the "that sounds like me and I consider myself..." viewpoint, and that's what you've given. Considering yourself a psychiatrist's term may bother some people round here [I don't know], but it doesn't bother me.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

It's mostly, I think, the difference between "I am [psychiatric condition]", which many people say, and "I have [psychiatric condition]." We personally try to get people to say "I have", to not define themselves by their conditions. It's not saying that you consider yourself to have such a condition. I've had (and still have to some extent) PTSD and I say so freely.

Anyway, there are a lot of reasons for what you've described, you have to find the one that's right for you. Are you looking for a way to control it without having to see a psych, or are you trying to get some idea what it might be so you can describe it to a psych?

[tiger-and-i.livejournal.com]

I want to know what or who she is. I don't like her coming out and I'd rather she didn't, and to be honest I would like to keep her away on my own, or at least without someone asking "and why do you think your anger is a seperate person" because that would be impossible to answer without betraying someone's trust.

[tiger-and-i.livejournal.com]

Tiger can only get through when I get cross, and some of the reasons I get cross about are pointless [not being able to get an icecream because none of them were vegetarian? She didn't get through, but she was pushing].

I'm seeing a counsellor at the moment, originally for something she did, but now also for depression.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

The last time we knew someone like that, it had a medical cause, and we don't know much about things like you describe other than that. But a lot of times, we have heard that people like that can become valuable allies if you can find a way to (like tasedjebbast is saying) communicate with her and find out why she does such things.

It's also true that she might trust a third party... whether a mental health professional or someone else is up to her and to you. But it does sound like one way or another you will have to find a way to communicate with her, and like you say, find out who or what she is without someone else (therapist or whomever) trying to define her for you.

[tiger-and-i.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm going to try talking to her again tonight.

I actually want her to answer me now.

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

Jenilee's Guide is a white tiger spirit named Sarenti. :)

[tiger-and-i.livejournal.com]

Tiger is strong. Tiger roars. I was going by a username that meant kitten. It was an obvious name to choose. I don't envisage her as a tiger - I don't envisage her at all. I think my Tiger is about as opposite to Sarenti as it is possible to be. But thanks for sharing!

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

um okay

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

I guess I just don't get it :p

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

Then why do you have an image of a girl with a tiger? I figured that like one of the people in your group was a tiger? I don't get it. I'm like really confused or something. o.O
LeAnne

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

I think she's saying that her anger is named "Tiger". Kalli

[tiger-and-i.livejournal.com]

The image is from a book cover, a book I used to love, called "The Tiger Who Came To Tea". I remember none of the plot, and really want to read it again. It was the first thing that came to mind when I thought I needed a picture of a tiger trying to interact with humans.

My group is just me and Tiger.

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

sorry if I got weird. Things confuse me sometimes and I think I get a little too freaked than I should. o.O blah. I think Tiger is kool and all that.
LeAnne

[tiger-and-i.livejournal.com]

It's OK. I'm sure there'll be someone in this community to confuse every one of us.

[tiger-and-i.livejournal.com]

I never need Tiger. I could do without Tiger entirely. I've thought a bit more about her, and I'm going to make a post in my journal when I'm awake enough to remember everything I'm trying to remember.

[tiger-and-i.livejournal.com]

It'll probably in a couple of hours at best, I haven't eaten anything yet [yes, I know, sorry], and I could do with a shower.

And it'll be complicated for me to write, because I'll be trying to put everything in chronological order.

[tiger-and-i.livejournal.com]

The problem is, she's never felt like a part of me. And I don't want to be the sort of person who does what she does. She worries me, and she knows she has no responsibility, because I always end up having to clear up the mess.

[catskillmarina.livejournal.com]

Human are all a bunch of differing views of themselves, drives, urges, roles and even
persons and personalities. The idea of a singular united psyche is a great
oversimplification like saying a person is made all the same kind of tissues.

It has been known that people's minds are created of mental objects since ancient times.
Right now we are studying some buddhist sutras that seem suspiciously like modern
object relational theory.

--- Miri of Mtribe

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

What if you're not human?

[catskillmarina.livejournal.com]

Living creatures ?

--- Miri

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

:)

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

It's still pretty complex :)

This might be interesting (http://amasci.com/shyness.html)

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

I enjoyed that article. Thank you.

[spiral-seeds.livejournal.com]

Hello.
I'm sorry that I cannot relate to your difficulties with Tiger. I do have some system members who are more misanthropic and violent types, but somehow we've come to work things out. However, I have been able to talk to them and we don't exactly loose time (we just seem to have a terrible memory).
Have you tried talking to Tiger? Even if she doesn't answer, she may be able to hear you at least.
Could you talk to a therapist about these things and perhaps get help from him/her?
Sorry I don't have much advice.

[tiger-and-i.livejournal.com]

I tried, but not hard enough, last night. That's when I came up with the list of times she's been out. I'll try to talk to her again.

[pengke.livejournal.com]

Personally, I think you have anger management issues but you want there to be a Tiger for you to blame.

[tiger-and-i.livejournal.com]

I do want there to be Tiger there to blame. I've been considering it an anger management issue, but upon reading information about multiples, I've realised that this may also be the case.

If you knew me, you'd know how different Tiger is to me. I am a pacifist.

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

dude I get really angry sometimes and it's still me. I'm like wicked embarrassed at how angry I can get because it doesn't feel like me but it's still me. I don't name my anger though. it's possible to get really angry and feel like it's not you but you can just get really angry. it happens. it doesn't always have to mean it's someone else. you know?
LeAnne

[tiger-and-i.livejournal.com]

It feels like it's someone completely separate, so I'm trying to work out if it actually is someone completely separate.

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

well I don't really know what to say then because like I'm not plural. I just am part of a plural group. you know?
LeAnne

[tiger-and-i.livejournal.com]

Yep. I don't understand who Tiger is, so I doubt anyone else can.