Confusion and perhaps a request for advice.

[tibialmusician.livejournal.com]

The multiple I'm involved with and I were discussing integration tonight. their stance collectively was that since they try not to advertise their multiplicity if they ended up finding someone they wished to spend their life with they would likely integrate. The other reason they stated was it felt as though each one was only living a third of a life due to being all in one body as well as the fact they all could still remember being one single entity and felt it would be preferrable.

I find the idea very upsetting due to my love for the people in question but at the same time i can understand it may be for the best.

My question is that is the stance you all possess in intergration? Do some of you like my friend aim for it? Or is the idea repugnant to you? Do you have similar reasons for thinking or planning for it? Or are they as different as you can get?

Forgive me if this has already been discussed. I optimistically hope it's something that can be discussed from various angles before it becomes too stale.

Edit. Fixed one or two typos like fixing it to integreation instead of reintegration. Sorry bout that.

Comments

[weirdiguess.livejournal.com]

It's not really 'repugnant' we just don't think about it much. We're people, integration has never been a question here.

[mirrorbrothers.livejournal.com]

I doubt I'd ever want to integrate with Rob. Especially not for a relationship, since we have opposite orientations. It seems too much like dying. And by the way, there wouldn't be any "re" in it, as far as I know. Our earliest memories, just about, are of Rob realizing I was there.

Johnny

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

I don't know how it would be done.

-Butterfly

[lb-lee.livejournal.com]

*grins* It's easy. You envision a giant squishing machine, get everyone to hold still, then push the button that says 'go.'

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

That doesn't sound nice.

-Butterfly

[rabbitsystem.livejournal.com]

It's not always that. Sometimes multiples really did start off as one person, and sometimes none of them can be whole until they're all together again. When I integrated it wasn't like being smushed up. It was more like a jigsaw puzzle being put together.

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

A puzzle sounds better. :)

-Butterfly

[arcis.livejournal.com]

guh. Legato much? (um, Trigun reference, there was a psychic guy that .. meshed many people into a truck to the point they.. meshed)

no thanks +_+;

[etana.livejournal.com]

Well it's one of those things that gets hot-buttoned I think or used to more a few years ago when multiplicity got popular online. Now I think folks are quite generically over it, so to speak. I know that we debate who could integrate(not sure 're'is the proper term here) and really how would that affect overall life?
There's too many variables to think about that - our goal is to function optimally as we are.

[lb-lee.livejournal.com]

Hmm, an interesting thought. I, for instance, am integrating with one of us and having no problems or upsets--but that was because Compromise was starting to fade out. It is nothing like dying; in fact, I am the insurance she WON'T die. Compromise has been giving me depth and abilities I lacked, and I am giving her a method of expression. It's been slow and calm, not at all frightening.

On the other hand, I'm not sure we could totally reintegrate--certainly not without a good deal of work and time. We might be able to boil down into two people, but Writer and I are so intrinsically polarized that I don't think we could be reintegrated easily.

And I confess, I'm not sure I'd like to join with someone like Writer, who curses a blue streak over trivialities and rants about romance as though it were a disease. The idea of integration itself is hardly disgusting, but with Writer... yes, yes it is.

--Splendour

[shandra.livejournal.com]

It's not an option for most of us (too different, and there is a lot of doubt that we were really ever one person, consciousness-wise), although we have had a couple of integrations and could see the potential for a couple more.

Having said that (and having gone through an integration personally), my philosophical stance is that integration is fine if it is organic, that is, it seems to flow out of growth or natural decay and isn't like murdering someone, and if it is what the individuals involve want /for themselves./

My personal opinion (only opinion, but a strong one) is that integration designed to please someone else (like a lover, therapist, or society at large) is a mistake. I believe in modifying one's BEHAVIOUR at times to fit in, be part of the tribe, etc. But I do not really believe in modifying WHO ONE IS in order to fit in. Of course there are some grey areas in there but that's fundamentally how I come at it.

[arcis.livejournal.com]

well. there was a system-friend that did that. not exactly reintegrating, maybe, but more like.. quoting 'her', "..and you'll realize that they're not real." <-- was trying to get 'me' to 'being one and surrender self to God' as well, btw.

despite probably not looking it, I believe in God/ have a religion/ likes church, etc, but .. but faith is diverse here. that alone is a problem in integration for the name of belief : \ which probably both the best reason against and for about integration.

*pokes Roman Catholic system leader and Atheist headmate, among others*

so.. no integration plans, for now.

- Oz

[arcis.livejournal.com]

btw, she was talking from the PoV of multiple = possessed/ 'being confused by evil spirits' *cringe*

[catskillmarina.livejournal.com]

I'm not evil but Sid is ;-)

--- Miri

[catskillmarina.livejournal.com]

Consciousness of all people is composed of different components so to a degree all
people are multiple. True multiplicity develops when there are full people inside.

I think the term integration has been misused and misunderstood by many of the therapists
dealing with multiples. I understand integration as an understanding of the forces within
the psyche so that in the case of a neurotic person they do not drive mal-adaptive
behavior. Rereading some of the original analytic works many of the psychoanalysts did
not see the mind as one anyway.

I do not like the idea of trying to stuff us all into one person. I relish my time
living. There are 2 in our system who sometimes think they are or want to fuse
into one mind but they respect the wishes of the rest of us.

Anyway - everyone has to make up their own choices, but if the solution sounds too
simple to be real, it probably is. The idea of integration put out by Wilbur seems
too simple to me.

--- Miri

[ricktboy.livejournal.com]

we consider the term "integration" to mean co-operation and co-consciousness within a system. We already do this.

however, we understand your question, and to us, too, it feels like dying, or killing off people. We all live our separate lives, and while it's tough to time-share sometimes, we manage. smooshing us together into one person wouldn't work for long, if it did at all, and well, it's a triggering thought to some of us.

i hope that answered your question.

Faith
Pack Collective

[foreverwish.livejournal.com]

Integration seems sad to us, especially since there has always been the sense of more than one of us. But if you think that it is right you should do it.

Darwin of Fen Group

[20splinters.livejournal.com]

We have had a few small integrations in here, but they were of similar people who didn't feel complete on their own.

But as for total integration, I don't think a single one of us in here would support that! We like being the way we are, having each other around, even when we argue and interfere with one another's plans. We've got a lot of the stuff other people have listed as obstacles to integration anyway, but really, it's just that we like the way we are. :)

Joey

[rabbitsystem.livejournal.com]

Ellen integrated a while back, and that was good because it was a healing. She wasn't ever meant to be in parts. (We weren't trying to integrate, by the way. It just kind of happened, and when it did, it was good.)
The system as it stands now? I'd never want to integrate. I don't think we could, but even if it is possible I don't want to. We're designed to be multiple, it's how we're made, and we aren't parts of each other in the same way. It wouldn't be coming back together whole, it would be some kind of bizarre hybrid of different people. And probably the result would be very messed up.

[lion-azure.livejournal.com]

If done voluntarily, with the agreement of those being integrated, we have no problems with it. Everybody has to live their life/lives as they see fit. Sure, if, for example, one of the systems we're friends with were to integrate, and become one person instead of many, we'd miss our friends. But in the end, if it was said friends' decision, we have to accept that.

[arcis.livejournal.com]

oh and,

their stance collectively was that since they try not to advertise their multiplicity if they ended up finding someone they wished to spend their life with they would likely integrate.

that's actually another problem with integration/ not. and we've yet to find the best solution.

someone in the back just said that, if we're not willing to cut our hair for a(ny) guy/girl (in manga, heartbroken girls cut their hair, we/the body have long hair and we love the hair more than any guy/girl).. it's as unlikely we'd integrate for that either >.>;

but wanting to integrate when you (believe that you --sorry, some here are skeptics) find 'that someone'.. I guess it's understandable..?
... but for some reason it nags on us like a gay person wanting a 'normal' hetero family though : \

[azraile.livejournal.com]

it's an individual thing... for some people it's good... for others it's a bad idea...

[cactus-guys.livejournal.com]

We'd hate to integrate, cos it really, really wouldn't work. We're pretty different people, and we all have different partners. What would we do if we all integrated, and then Lynn's husband, say, wanted to see her and no-one else?

We couldn't integrate, it'd screw everything up. Besides, I like being me.

Liam

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

For us, it was the 'intergration' that was the traumatic part! When I was very little, we were all together, but then pressures either to 'get rid' of my 'imaginary friends' or to mush us all together failed rather badly. I was made to feel very guilty and scared about having the others. On Shad's side, he was facing the pressure of school and religion, so he tried to cut off when he found that he couldn't make us go away.

Our dis-intergration is probably one of the healthiest things I've done in my life, though it seems to also be one of the most difficult in some ways, mostly my own pressure on myself to find 'realness' in what we're going through. It drives Tahl up the wall.

I can see how some people might feel that they are broken or that they long to be intergrated because they feel incomplete, and I guess I can see how it would be done. Personally, I've been happier with interacting with the others on a person to person basis, instead of the half-assed mushed up-ness we had before, but then, none of us feel incomplete or lacking, except for the usual human issues.

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

There were a few with us who when we attempted a variation of a merge ended up resulting in a new, completely separate person. I suppose that would be similar to people coming together to create a child, except the child wasn't created in the traditional way.

Kasia

[gryphons.livejournal.com]

our general opinion is that integration is not something we want.. and actively try to avoid the subject when it comes up.. we've left counselors who have mentioned it/pushed for it..

We have tried it.. to please other people.. it blew up.. badly

but we have done it.. seen it done when the souls involved wanted it.. and it worked out very well.. ..

so we understand why some people may want to pursue it.. but in general it's not for us..
-Darius

[tibialmusician.livejournal.com]

I'm was not the one suggesting they integrate. They were basing it off an as yet unknown variable. I was very much in disagreement with the idea.

It has since been resolved and they have realised integrating for the sake of another is not the best idea.