(no subject)

[overlord-mordax.livejournal.com]

How do you deal with specific system-members' birthdays? Do you celebrate separately on your own days, or does everyone celebrate on the body's birthday? And what about cake and present preferences?

The reason I ask is because we've always celebrated altogether on the body's birthday, but this year there was a bit of an argument about the whole thing, and Massha has decided that she wants her birthday celebrated on HER birthday, with a cake and everything.

Personally, I'm a little skeptical on how we're supposed to pull this off without alerting everyone we know to the fact that we're multiple. Maybe it wouldn't be so much of a big deal if we didn't still live at the mercy of our parents, but even on our own I can imagine the expenses would pile up, because I know if one person gets their own birthday everyone's going to want one.

So, um, anyone have any suggestions, or thoughts?

-David of Mirrom

Comments

[ex-suhina987.livejournal.com]

Many of our birthdays overlap, but a fair number of us have individual ones. We play it by ear depending on how important it is to the person in question. Some of us could care less, while some of us demand to have a special day with our lovers. We just try to be cost effective.

[kyouketsusha.livejournal.com]

You could have a smaller, personal birthday by yourselves, maybe with a smaller cake or cupcake or something. (I'd make one myself, but I don't know how adept you are at baking.)

I haven't had this problem, Liliane doesn't have a proper birthday (well, doesn't remember one anyway) and with Mischa we know her birth *year* but not the day; she hasn't been with me terribly long anyway, we may figure one out eventually. She can have some of my cake though, I already have to share my birthday with my mum's boyfriend and one of his kids, and my mum's birthday's a week before mine with my brother a week after, we always just throw one big party every year anyway, what's one or two more? XD

[aimeepatricia.livejournal.com]

August 2nd is my birthday. I know this, because I showed up on my birthday (there was a party) and stuff. The "party" doesn't make sense unless one knows how I showed up.

[kyouketsusha.livejournal.com]

Interesting, I didn't know that.

One day after the penguin's. :)

[othercolor.livejournal.com]

Being plural is all about compromise and cooperation. It's not necessarily feasible for every individual to get their own birthday party. But it is possible to arrange lunch with a slice of favorite cake or pie, or get a cupcake or a cookie to celebrate with.

As to how our system celebrates. As we're involved rather intimately with another system, we tend to have a special day for the people who want it. Kids and younger teens crave that sort of attention and so we do set aside a day (not always the exact day) but a day, when we can provide them with dinner or ice cream or a trip to the mall and pocket money to spend... something nice to treat them with.

The official birthday is observed for the biological family. We usually ask for dinner with our parents or something similar. Something quaint and calm and just personal for the group, not an individual.

[lion-azure.livejournal.com]

I know if one person gets their own birthday everyone's going to want one

True, that *g*. The way we usually handle this is that we try to keep it small. The birthday boy/girl ususally throws a little party in our soulscape, and we put up a birthday notice on our journal. On the outside, everyone gets a small, affordable present (usually in form of "IOU one present, max value of x bucks, because they seldom know what they want right away). There's no cake, but I try and cook them their favourite food for dinner :).

- Fireez

[eridanusus.livejournal.com]

Our biological birthday is in a few days - we collaborated on a birthday list (traditional in our family so people aren't flying blind while present shopping), so it has things I want, things Dat wants, things Tian wants, etc. Which means it's basically luck of the draw as to whether everyone gets something, really. :) We don't place much importance on birthdays at all though. We only realised a few days ago that our birthday was this close, and for those of us who have birthdays of our own it's usually just the day we change what our age is. For a long while none of us were aging, but we have been for the last couple of years.

[tej-agni.livejournal.com]

There are different sorts of celebrations in our group. Not everyone has as strong a tie to this Earth realm as some of the others and may keep their celebrations within our own realm. Some, like Jenilee, do feel a strong connection to Earth so she enjoy celebrating her birthday here. Her birthday was last month and the kidlets baked her a pink strawberry cake with strawberry frosting. She was sung to and blew out the candles. The Clique then made chicken vegetable stir fry as a celebration dinner. :)

The body's birthday is a bit like a holiday celebration, like Yule, since it falls very close to the winter solstice here. It's a family get together within our group with gifts and trying out new recipes and watching warm movies with popcorn or pizza. The kidlets love it and so do the adults for that matter. :)

The other celebrations that are recognized are determined by the individual. Some don't celebrate the day they were born, but the day they were conceived. Others celebrate the day the became aware of their life path, or when they left home, or when they joined with a lifemate, or various celestial events. There seems to always be a celebration or other going on for us. *laughs*

Kasia, Jenilee & Pepper
-Kasiya Epitome

[aimeepatricia.livejournal.com]

Buy a little cake at the store. I like Carvel. :) Stick a candle in it. Done. :)

[rabbitsystem.livejournal.com]

Ellen and I identify as birth people, so we celebrate the body's birthday. JT doesn't have a specific day that's his, so he tends to consider body-day special for him as well (he doesn't seem to be aging, so birthdays don't mean much). Durza does have a specific date. He wouldn't want an earth-type celebration, though; he'll probably commemorate it in some way involving weighing up the year and moving on from it. It's hard to say, as he hasn't actually had a birthday yet.

[blindgod.livejournal.com]

Hmmm! Maybe you can just have a birthday on the day if you remember you found out your multiple. The day you realized there was others in sharing your body. Kind of like an anniversary. Just a thought.

[pengke.livejournal.com]

You could tell people that cakes taste better if they say "Happy Birthday".

[overlord-mordax.livejournal.com]

Now thats a good idea! Thank you!

-David

[redrainstorm.livejournal.com]

Those in my system either have a birthday, or have chosen one. We tried to celebrate them all at the end of the month, but now I have a cousin living with me (actually blindgods^^ younger sister) who doesn't know I'm multiple. Even once a month was hard to keep up with. So our counselor suggested that since most birthdays weren't being celebrated, or that we attempted but couldn't succeed, that we pick four days. And to try to revolve them around holiday days (St Patricks Day), and that way it doesn't seem as weird to make a big deal of the day.
1 day would be the 'original' birthday.
1 day would be the littles/kids (girls).
1 day would be the littles/kids (boys).
1 day would be the teens/adults (both).

[weirdiguess.livejournal.com]

We just do private things on the birthdays of the main people. Like Selene'll get the fiance taking the girls out to dinner or something for it. The rest of us, we maybe get a present fromt he rest of the system to us. I'm not too bothered really, never liked birthdays anyway.

Nobody notices really 'cause they don't make a big deal for the body birthday anyway. No cake or big deal with presents or anything.

[ricktboy.livejournal.com]

we celebrate Liz's birthday(aka the body's birthday), with people who don't know(although almost everyone does)and Rachel celebrates that day as well(although we calculated her day of arrival, she prefers that day)

Rick's is August, Tara, Kali and Faith's are other days in Jan, and cubbie and Wolf's are in early Feb. We celebrate our individual birthdays in little ways, with people who matter, and we'd tell people it was our "unbirthday" if we needed to explain it away.

we don't anymore, though, because if we chose to have a party outside, we'd tell people who it was for. We're out though.

Pack Collective

[gryphons.livejournal.com]

hmm.. for us.. .. we have celebrated inside whe birthdays arrived and we didn't have anyone around who knew. or we didn't want to explain.

luckily, we can do a bit more open things.. it helps that most of our birthdays tend to fall around holidays(beltane, samhain, Ostara).. so going out and doing special things.. or celebrating with friends.. is a lot easier to do.. with or without an explanation.

[pthalo]

some of us chose our own, either arbitrarily or meaningful. the rest of us just borrow the body's birthday. it's the only day we outwardly celebrate with outside people. hardly expect them to keep track of a billion different birthdays. (exaggeration)

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

We'd go with any and all of the suggestions above.

Many of us know our birthdays back home -- some can approximate the dates out here (time runs differently on Laura) or choose the seasonal or closest holiday and have that for their celebration. Some don't really make much out of it, others do.

[phen0type.livejournal.com]

We have small celebrations for our individual birthdays, and when the body's birthday comes around, it'll be a universal celebration.

Richard