Thanks for those who read, and also, an update. Advice = chocolate

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

Hey there again. Since I posted a few days ago, things have been falling into place more and more. I am kind of scared, kind of exhilarated, wondering if I'm going crazy or just delusional. But, it feels right somehow. I am more scared by how not scared I am.

There are three others there. Two of them are very independant, one is far more 'connected' for lack of a better word. The guy in my userpic *points* is the guy that I am closest to, Tyb. I did a lot of soul searching, and worked out that he and the other two were there from a very early age. It makes a lot of sense: things I've forgotten, things I've repressed. I don't think there's any trauma involved. Its a very co-dependant sort of relationship, and seems rather healthy.

I have been taking advice from the few people who replied and taught Tyb how to write (he was largely illiterate). He is left-handed, so watching him write, draw and type is a fascinating experience. I type right handed, can't do anything with my left, but Tyb touchtypes (left-handed one hand typing doesn't work very well) and writes left handed. That in and of itself blows my mind. I remember as child being frustrated about not being able to use my left hand for writing and drawing. Probably a repressed Tyb trying to express himself (he agrees: I repressed them awfully.) Me and Tyb are developing a cooperative relationship. We figure once we are sorted out, we will try and involve the other two and discuss organisation and body-time.

The bad news is that my fiance has taken it badly, as has my plural friend. My fiance suspects I'm mentally ill, I'm sure of it. Mind you, we were sort of heading for a split anyway. Hopefully he won't try to instutionalise me XD.

My plural friend taking it badly suprised me. I think they sorted of counted on my normalcy to an extent. We've decided that we won't tell them much more, and not clue them in on Tyb's rapid assimilation of my skills and abilities, and mine of his, any more than we have. Despite them going through the same thing, they feel it is somehow an awful thing, which is why I started working with them in the first place - to help them get over the fact they are multiple. They have big issues with it: not just in the closet, but in the castle complete with spikes and ballista. Its very sad, because they love each dearly and want to be comfortable with themselves.

I'm amazed at how fast Tyb is learning. He is very persistant and fiercely determined to 'get out' and start exploring the world again. I wish I had friends I could rave to and squee at XD. There's a lot to talk about, but no one seems comfortable with me telling them about him...

Comments

[paladin1701.livejournal.com]

Though I'm not a group, I do know groups, and let me say this: it is very possible that those who reacted badly at first might change. Be patient with us singlets--we can come to understand. Make sure to communicate that their lack of acceptance right away hurt your feelings, though. That's key.

[linnai.livejournal.com]

We want to share with you that we have been a functional system for about... three years now, a little less perhaps. We were rapidly deteriorating before and then there was sort of a seperation of the minds...

But what we wanted to share most was at the time, we were involved with a single female and she was our life saver. We took her for granted a lot because she was stability in a world we had just come to realize was NOT stable for us (and never had been, we were delusional about it at the time). But she was amazing and strong and very good for us to lean on.

And then she discovered herself to be more than one, not the same as us but more than one nonetheless and for awhile it was VERY hard for us, because she (and her group) were no longer as stable as we had thought we'd always have and we took it badly for a spell to have her stability gone.

Which is possibly what your friend's group is going through right now.

It was a happy ending for our group and you shouldn't immediately conclude that people will continue to take it badly. Give them time to come to terms with it. Either they will and it will be fine, or they won't and you'll know it. But do give it some time.

[linnai.livejournal.com]

And also, if you ever want to chat, as you indicated you don't have too many that are interested in listening, we're normally around at strange times... and we do have email throughout the day at work...

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

Yeah, thanks for that. It does seem a bit that way, that we are sudeenly not as stable as we were, but I'm going to lengths to assure him that we are still the friend he's come to trust and depend on.

Unfortunately, they are slightly androphobic, and they are a little intimidated by Tyb at times, so he's agreed to keep quiet around them until they're used to the idea XD. They always knew him as an extremely well developed character (which they were also nervous about, as they like him and are scared of him at the same time). We'll work something out.

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

How did we miss your last post? ::Puzzled look:: Now that we look back, we remember you. We wanted to say first off congratulations! Secondly if a friend came out and told us they were multiple we'd be jumping and bouncing off the walls and happy. Thirdly, if you want some one to rave and squee with and don't mind the Net, you can friend our journal and our Yahoo ID is dragon_quest_777. Also, maybe in time your friend(s) will come to understand. We really hope that your fiancee doesn't try to institutionalize you. All the best to you and yours,
Rayvin

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

I doubt he will, but he had a hard enough time coping with my bout of depression last year. He may think I'm mentally ill though, despite feeling better than I have for 2 years or so XD.

If anyone has AIM, I can be contacted on ShiroiSeraph. I'll also give my msn, on request. I love the internet :3.

[terendel.livejournal.com]

Greetings! We're terendel on AIM, and I just added you to my contact list. Be more than willing to listen to you rave and squee. Richard, my mindmate is newly...active is I guess the right word, and he's always looking for more like-minded people to chat with.

Juli from Del System

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

I can't seem to add you to anything ;;

I have been trying...but it won't add to eith yahoo or AIM...

[bladespark.livejournal.com]

Congrats! It's wonderful to see being multiple working well for somebody.

[whiterosemaiden.livejournal.com]

Hey! I did see your last post, and I'm sorry I didn't comment - real life seems to have me by the neck at the moment. Oh well.

I think it's a good thing that you're not scared? I spent a good many years of my life terrified of the fact that I had other people in this body with me, and tried very hard to control them all and repress them. It wasn't a good plan, since I ended up have terrible memory blanks, one of them actively trying to ruin the rest of us, and a complete breakdown last year.

I also think it's good thing you and him and working so well together! Seriously. Sometimes I wish the others in here were like that too.

My significant other/best friend is also a plural. We were best friends before admitting to each other what we were, and it only helped to tie us closer together. It was him who pulled me through my almost collapse. Unfortunately, my other best friend, who is since no longer talking to me, didn't take it quite so well. At first she ignored it, and then blatently told me that she couldn't deal with it, and if any of the others did try to talk to her, she'd make sure she'd take us to the doctor. All because she 'cared' about us. Hopefully things won't go that way for you. As others have said, some people take time to adjust. Give them awhile and see what happens. ^^

Hopefully your plural friend will realise that there isn't anything to worry about, in fact, it's probably something great! I always felt very alone before my SO and I came out to each other, and having someone in real life who knows who they're talking to and experiences the same things makes life so much easier.

Completely OT, but I looked at your profile, and I might have to ask if I may friend you. I like Rammstein, anime, writing, and intelligent conversation too! XD I also love Literature, but I'm going to do Psychology, so yeah...

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

Sounds awesome, and feel free to friend me. Anyone in this community is welcome to ^^.

Me and my friends have been chatting more. They are both coming around to it, and we had a big talk about what it feels like. Its going better than I had hoped.

I also repressed, but my guys and I were always something of a team as children, and it doesn't seem too hard to get the same cooperation we had when we were litle going again. Its just a case of opening the locks and adjusting our life to suit. Tyb is exciteable though, and that scares me a little at times, but he's also very gentle.

Hopefully I will actually write journals online, lol.

[xanguisettex.livejournal.com]

There is some good news about institutionalization. For someone to put you into a hospital against your will, it needs to be proven that you are a potential threat to either yourselves or other people, or it needs to be taken to court. You can only be kept against your will for three days (if you are an adult, I am not sure on the status of things for children). Past those three days, it must be determined by law. I have been put into hospitals against my will, and gone willingly. Both times, I was determined an acute danger to myself, so I was not able to go until the doctor on call was sure that I was sound enough to go. Rather a slippery business when there are more than one of you. ;) I was never in for more than a week.

I am sorry that your fiance feels that way, and I hope you are able to work things out with your friend.

Anne

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

I don't think its going to get to that stage. He's just sort of 'shut down' on me. I don't think he is even authorised to, tbh, as we are not officially recognised as couple under law. But he doesn't want to hear about it at all, gets distant and wierd whenever I bring something up. He seems to be determindly ignoring the signs of another person: the foods in the fridge I don't normally eat, walks and periods of spacing out. Tyb is getting pretty mad at his attitude, which is a bit hard to manage. We're working something out, but I live with a rather hot tempered headmate, lol.