Coming out

[rabbitsystem.livejournal.com]

There's a man who is a very dear friend to us, and we really want to tell him about us. But it seems to us to be a bad idea to do so because he might tell others. That doesn't strike us as likely, especialy if we ask him not to, and in a few days we're probably going to give in and tell him, because we hate lying and especially to people close to us.
Any advice regarding if/how we should do it? We communicate only by instant messenger.

Comments

[drleanne.livejournal.com]

we've eased people into the discussion of multiplicity by perhaps bringing up a movie on the subject. we told our husband (then boyfriend) about it after having seen a movie together (garbage flick called never talk to strangers) but it spawned a talk on the subject which led to a coming out.

[mirrorbrothers.livejournal.com]

You've just named the best reason to come out, so while it's not a decision anyone should really make for you, it sounds like a good idea to me. And while there's ways to make it easier, in the end you're just gonna have to say it. Besides, I'm not sure there's any movie I'd want to use for coming out multiple - from what I hear, they're all pretty stereotypical and sensationalist.

I do give you this advice, though: be ready for questions.

Rob

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

http://www.livejournal.com/tools/memories.bml?user=multiplicity&keyword=coming+out&filter=all

This might help. Online, we usually just come right out and say it, we're only closeted offline. We've come out in person to a couple of friends with this line: "When we are together, does it sometimes seem like you are interacting with more than one person?" Maybe you could say something like that, even though it's chat and there might be less chance of his picking up on different people.

[catskillmarina.livejournal.com]

It's been our position that if a person can't accept us they really are not a friend.

We either explain it. Most of our friends have not had a problem with it at all. With
others if i need to mention it i say pointing to head "there are quite a few in here"
and i don't make a big deal of it.

I point people at my job and my life and say - we are doing well, not dysfunctional, but
it was a heck of a thing to get used to.

--- Miri

PS - Ksol will probably comment on how unusual we are in being able to come out like
that ;-)

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

More like unheard of. ;)

[mirrorbrothers.livejournal.com]

Actually, all my closest friends know about Johnny. That adds up to seven - wait, no, nine people, but seven comings-out. (I had one very gratifying "Oh, you too?") No bad reactions yet. Of course, Johnny is late in my list of self-revelations. These nine were all people who were already okay with me being gay and psychic and an elemental, so they were effectively screened for heavy-duty tolerance beforehand.

Rob

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Oh, our closest friends know about us, too, but we're not out to the general public the way catskillmarina are.

[mirrorbrothers.livejournal.com]

Everyone? Okay, yeah, I'll put in a vote for "unheard of" on that. But it's also awesome.