Thanksgiving in the Back Seat

[mirrorbrothers.livejournal.com]

So, yeah, I'm at my (er, our) grandma's house for Thanksgiving. The computer I'm on is in the same room where Dad is sleeping, and it's lucky he's a sound sleeper, because he has no idea I exist.

I've been becoming more and more "present" in the world. Last Sunday I actually came out and participated in a conversation face-to-face, for the first time ever. One of the people there didn't know we were multiple, the other did. (Well, his two headmates do, too, to the extent they were there.) Talking is surprisingly easy, when it's something you care about. I'm trying to work my way up to things like introducing myself to Rob's friends - the physicists as well as the more accepting geeks and psychics.

And now I find myself with my family - and I do consider them to be my family; I take my brotherhood with Rob seriously, and I love our relatives, too. But the moment I saw them I found myself all the way back and hiding, like I'm thirteen again. I'm not ready to tell any of them yet, I don't even have any idea whether I'll ever be able to. Just fronting in my grandmother's house has my heart pounding, and while it's novel to actually feel it, I really hate the fear. And I hate taking time off my personal growth for a holiday, it feels like backsliding.

Has anyone come out to parents or siblings? Does it ever go well? How does it go wrong? And, for anyone who's had to teach themselves to front and interact with outsiders, how did you handle getting in situations in the middle where you had to be closeted?

Anyway, I'm off to clear my grandmother's internet history...

Johnny

Comments

[kangetsuhime.livejournal.com]

The mother knows about me. We didn't 'come out' so much as she one day asked us about it. Which, uh, took us by suprise given at that point we hadn't been 'we' dropping very much, but oh well. Turns out she'd suspected for quite some time, like a year or more. She seems fine with it.

The father is so pathetic that he goes upstairs to watch a different show everytime there's even something on (fiction/drama) about a woman who can talk to spirits, so... Yeah, guess we won't be telling *him* this life time.

Though, the next time I hear a snarky comment about 'poofs' I'm going to jump front and point out to him that I'm a lesbian and bloody proud of it. With any luck he'll have a heart attack and die, but fate would never be that kind to me.


When I'm 'closeted', I generally front only when not specifically 'around' them (ie I'm on the computer). I really can't be arsed sitting around feeling uncomfortable or trying to remember to use the body's voice normally. It doesn't inhibit me much, we avoid interacting with the parents as much as possible.