A Couple Things

[mylittlebox.livejournal.com]

A few things:

• We were not here yesterday, after the post by Auroch. He made that post and left the house, as far as I can tell.

• When we DID get back, which is a story in and of itself (around 3 pm today), we both read most of the 110 or so comments. Auroch has his share of things to say, and so do I. Neither are really very much related.

• I will separate both into their own respective sections. Auroch is NOT fronting at the moment, and was kind enough to agree to quietly sit back and dictate so I can remain in front and type. I actually think he might have worn himself out somehow yesterday. I really don't want to know doing what.

Well, that certainly was amusing in and of itself.

Had I not been away yesterday, I surely would have replied to simply more than one person. Rest assured, I was neither intimidated nor embarrassed by the many responses I received. It was a rather encouraging sight. And very telling about most of the people here, hosts and otherwise.

People tend to get rather open rather quickly in two situations: when they are presented with a kind stranger, or are angered. Seeing as how I am nothing near "kind," I suppose it is anger that made you reveal as much as you did. There's nothing "dangerous" or consequential about any of it, mind you, and I am not claiming to have any sort of power in that respect. What I am saying, however, is that you did quite exactly what I wanted you to do. Your accusations of "this is a teenager's cry for help" or "this is someone who thinks this is an RP community" have thoroughly embarrassed my girl, and made her feel highly uncomfortable and awkward. I'm sure she'll tell you in a bit exactly how she feels about this, but for now I must applaud you. Good show, loveys.

To those who had directed comments toward me solely: Thank you for actually addressing me as though I exist. Very smart of you, and very polite. I rather like polite people, and so will give you the courtesy of responding in an honest, but direct manner, should you wish to speak. Unfortunately, I haven't the time to really go back through each of those 100+ comments and pick out the ones I approved of. Perhaps later I'll have a chance to go through and respond to those who actually spoke to me instead of her.

I'm reasonably tired after last night's excursion. It has been a while since I've been out long enough to actually accomplish anything that would exhaust me. Between that and the attention I've received from a lot of the people here, it was quite a successful day.

Cheers.

I don't know if I'm supposed to apologize. Really, I didn't do anything wrong. I wasn't aware of everything that happened yesterday. Sometimes, I just don't have the control that I think I do.

What I can tell you, however, is that I am deeply embarrassed for him. And a little hurt that he was able to make me seem like a child with a craving for attention.

I know at this point, there are a great deal of you out there who no longer believe I have a legitimate problem. I'm sorry that you feel that way, and wish there were something I could do to prove that I'm neither childish, nor so incredibly imaginitive that I would make this up just to manipulate other people's feelings. I wouldn't do that. I don't have much more than my word on this, but... well, that's really all I have.

I'm not going to respond to any of the comments he received. There are a lot and the ones that are addressed to me (i.e., "did you get kicked out of your D&D group?") are buried beneath the tons and tons of replies. Frankly, they're a little hurtful, but I guess I can't really blame people for feeling that way.

I don't know what else to say. If someone could tell me, maybe then I could help.

Comments

[mylittlebox.livejournal.com]

My embarrassment comes from coming home and seeing how utterly ridiculous that post was. I get embarrassed easily, especially when, in a way, it's a part of me doing the damage.

But thank you for that clarification about the D&D group comments. I wasn't sure.

[gryphons.livejournal.com]

yeah. 95%+ of what we saw.. was um.. directed at him.. not you.. we can't think of a comment that was directed at you.. the only one that might come close was talking about auroch being a big bad wolf protecting his little red riding hood..
We agree .. you have nothing to be embarrased about.
-Randi

[mylittlebox.livejournal.com]

I appreciate that. And the analogy actually made me laugh a little.

[vinik.livejournal.com]

To the young lady: Ditto on what others have said, darling. My mockery was purely directed at him.

Despite the fact that you are embarassed for him, perhaps this will show you that what you fear is only as powerful as you make it, because damn girl all we seem to see (along with what seems to be a lot of other Multiples here) in this Auroch guy is an abusive loser playing dress-up. You have the power to stand up to this guy, you just have to use it. And his whole bit about having done this to you on purpose to cause you embarassment?

Oh god, I've heard that one before! 'snorts'

Manipulative people often flip things against their favor to make themselves look good. He's been caught with his pants down, honey. Don't be embarassed. Feel free to laugh. ;)

-Benjamin

[mylittlebox.livejournal.com]

Although I do know he had, at one point, truly frightening and colossal power (and still does, in here), it's very intriguing to me that he flaunted it so suddenly and to so many people. He's not saying much about it. There's only an occassional smile to go on, but he seems neither empowered by it or hurt by the responses. Though, he's not often this quiet after a victory, so maybe he considers it a loss and is exercising his right to be apathetic.

With the multitude of dismissive responses toward him and his outburst, it does make him seem less ferocious and immovable.

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

Hey Amber,
Okay. You're still cool in our eyes. You didn't do a single thing wrong. We didn't judge you as some one play-acting. We actually went to your journal and read and liked your style...
To Auroch, stick your head up your ass and suffocate.

[mylittlebox.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm starting to feel a little better. :)

"Now, wouldn't that be an interesting position to force someone into?" - Auroch

[cirape.livejournal.com]

To Auroch:
You're funny. Is that what you were going for?

[mylittlebox.livejournal.com]

In a way. It sure as Hell amused me.

- Auroch

[dancer-selene.livejournal.com]

Yes, what everyone else says. My comment was addressed solely to him. I'm still laughing, and I'm amazed he came here to publibly lick his wounds. Really, what sort of response did he think he was going to get?

As for you, you're strong, but unable to realize it yet. He fears you despite this "collosal power" he claims. Abusers and manipulators usually all have the same M.O. and he's just a classic case. You shouldn't be embarrassed for his actions, but he surely seems embarrassed and if he's not fronting to express his rage and indignancy at the response he got, then that is quite telling.

I suppose you'll deal with him when you deal with him, or maybe he'll change (*coughs*).

[mylittlebox.livejournal.com]

I think he's too tired now to be arrogant. He's been very weak lately, which may explain the outburst.

It's becoming evident that he's very afraid I'll leave him somehow. Don't know how that would happen, but the more I read over my first post (where I talk about how abusive he is), the more I think he's fussing over this community because he's afraid to be alone after all this time.

Pity is problem keeping me from dealing with this correctly. That, and because it would be very hard to live happily without him around. He does have some redeeming qualities.

[threedog.livejournal.com]

Auroch or whatever:

Real power doesn't have to wank on and on about itself in public. Keep that in mind in the future, hmm? You'll look like less of an idiot. (Which you're doing again in this entry, I guess, but if that's what you want, it's cool!)

[mylittlebox.livejournal.com]

You can't see it, but I'm waving my hand dismissively.

Funny, though, that your icon is one of my favorite animals.

- Auroch

[fadingtogrey.livejournal.com]

Funny, though, that your icon is one of my favorite animals.

I am reluctant to get involved (I don't have enough information to present an opinion), but when I read Auroch's above comment, it occured to me that someone who truly didn't care about this community wouldn't "reach out" with a statement like that. It's the sort of thing you say when you want to find common ground with someone, even tentatively. Partly possessive, yes, but trying to establish a connection nonetheless. Maybe you didn't put that much thought into it, Auroch, but that's what it sounds like to me, and makes me think you were not "bragging" in your last post so much as introducing yourself in order to establish a connection with the people of the community. Aggressively, so it would be on your terms; and so people wouldn't just take Amber's word for who you are.

Does this sound at all accurate to either of you?

[mylittlebox.livejournal.com]

He won't answer. All he does is shrug and put his hand over his mouth the way he does when he's intrigued, and annoyed.

Could have been a little of both: trying to make me feel unwanted, and trying to tell everyone who he is.

[ex-pinkmonk.livejournal.com]

Auroch reminds me of someone I know in another system. He drives us crazy, but we won't feed him any more fear. (For all the good it does. :/ He only cares about moulding his House, who happens to be Our lover. Those outside the House are inconsequential, of course.) The alter and the House have a symbiotic yet parasitic relationship, if that makes sense.

Going with a cliche, "the greatest trick the devil ever did was convince people he didn't exist." I didn't believe this entity existed either, because I didn't want to. And I think all that posturing is part of the game.

[liedownlovely.livejournal.com]

For someone who is under his colossal power and epic testicles, you have no trouble laughing at him for being an ass.

I think you're stronger than you realize.

[catskillmarina.livejournal.com]

Hey - sorry your headmate embarrassed you. We as a group tend to take responsability
for the actions of our group.

I think a short leash is warrented.


--- Constance of Mtribe

[mylittlebox.livejournal.com]

I see no competition. I just do not approve of other people interfering with what is a personal matter between she and I. That was my problem.

- Auroch

[bound-innle.livejournal.com]

I would apologize to him, but... I don't feel that I'm ready for that kind of action. It'd be like apologizing to Hao, and god knows I'll never do that. I may later, but really? I can't find any way to, right now.

I do apologize to you, dear girl. I should've gone with the others and simply not replied, or at least waited until I wasn't in full-out-shamanic-rage-mode anymore. I'm supposed to help people, to stand by the strong, to protect the weak... it's something that allows my vision to become clouded a lot of the time, ironic as that is. (Also—I'm nineteen, what the hell do you expect from me?)

I, too, can't see wanting to hurt anyone else in here. Perhaps his past provides some excuse—but threatening your life? There's none for that. None.

Right. I'm the one who ought to have kept Mr. Righteous here on a short leash. Pleased to meet you, somewhat.

If you are indeed Assyrian, Auroch... I can see why you act the way you do. From what I've studied, it wasn't the happiest of societies by far, and you'd have every right to call us a bunch of decadents.

And so, if Lys pissed you off in some small way, I'm sorry. There's a reason Allen and I stayed out of this mess....

[mylittlebox.livejournal.com]

I'm not upset with you at all. You responded to something offensive, and I can't blame anyone for that.

We share the same age, and many of the same principles, it seems.

- Amber

Indeed. The society in which I was raised was very prone to war and fighting. I suppose many would blame my personality on not having a mother to love me, but that's for all the Freudians to figure out.

War was my business, and pain thereafter.

- Auroch

[kangetsuhime.livejournal.com]

I'd reply to Auroch, but after a certain point arrogance becomes stifling and doesn't allow for growth. I have better things to waste my time on.


As people have said to you, their replies were to Auroch, whether they believe he is 'real' in some fashion or not. He's made himself seem like a child craving for attention. *If* he's managed to make you seem like anything to some people, it's probably someone who needs help to break the mindset that they *should* be hurt.

[underlankers.livejournal.com]

Is stupid thing to do, Auroch. Post as ancient being and claim uber-awesome fighting skills, and yet you have come across to me as weak. Now, am not denying you are what you claim to be, but rather am saying that if you were truly so hating toward community, you would have not posted at all. Auroch, the name itself is interesting to me in that you say you, "Ancient Assyrian badass" and yet you have name of German cow. Don't take this wrong way but Assyrians spoke different language than Germanic, spoke a Semitic language. How you gain name? Back on topic, what value offer you to "your girl's" life? What do you contribute? You come across as arrogant SOB. Guess it true. Power corrupt, and absolute power corrupt absolutely.
Rafun^Crew.

[mylittlebox.livejournal.com]

"Auroch" is not my birth name. True names hold power, and since the ones who knew it are now dead, that power belongs solely to me.

I contribute quite a bit, actually. Self-defense, pride, anger, sex-drive, knowledge, and strength.

- Auroch

[stealthdragon.livejournal.com]

I just wanted to say that the icon on Aurochs' last post cracked me up. So any possible impact was lost before I started reading. ;)

[mylittlebox.livejournal.com]

Yeah... he likes that picture of me.

[notquitequiet.livejournal.com]

Hi...
Like I said, I think maybe the responses were part of what he wanted. You don't need to apologize for what he does, especially if he won't apologize for it himself.

-Keis

[eruditeboredom.livejournal.com]

Jumping in a bit late. Had some at-home troubles, and some health issues. But, saw a few things that some in here feel they must comment on.

Olivia: Wow. Angst hiding behind snarling. Impressive. Not >.<

Cameron: Sweetheart, if you need to talk to anyone, feel free to contact us. We've had a very similar experience with a trouble making, loudmouthed bully.

Cassius: Methinks the lady doth protest too much, and all that shit. And by lady, no, I don't mean you, Amber.

Helena: Hm. Auroch. In reference to how dangerous bovines used to be, I'm assuming. Cows are mostly harmless these days, but back then, they weren't something you meddled with. And as for that not being your real name, and you claiming to be Assyrian, some Akkadians in this head take offense to you taking the name of the representation of a certain god who does not take blasphemy lightly. Being Assyrian, you would have worshiped this same god. You're either pretending to be as old as you claim, or you are a blasphemer, and deserve punishment. Likely, Amber's innocence in the matter is the only reason you have not yet been dealt with by said god. He will have his vengeance in his own due time. Likewise, Helena is not my given name, but I choose a contemporary name rather than blaspheme those that put us here to do their work.

Cassius(and Claudius too, dammit!): Damn she's long winded. Yep, that's all I have to say. My brother's only response - he still can't stop giggling at your name. By our time, the aurochs were already domesticated. But now we want to watch Kung Pow. I think we'll do that when everyone's done online.

Michelle: .....

Lydia: You're a prick. Nothing more.
Julia: He's just trying to wear you down, babe. Don't let him.

Eresh: Auroch is a fool and will be dealt with accordingly. Remain strong, and do not give him the satisfaction of your distress.


Everyone else is either laughing too much to say anything that isn't silly, or doesn't feel like dignifying anything he has said with a response. All that I(Windi) can tell you is that this does happen occasionally. Someone shows up, makes a lot of noise, and causes trouble. These entities are very childish and should be dealt with as children. You have the power to put him in "time out" like a child when he acts like one. That's what I do when someone in here does this. Now, I can't do it with all of them. I started off with DID. It took years for everyone to learn to get along, communicate, and share memories. Once everything had been figured out, I guess that opened my mind up to "walk-ins" and such, so there are lots of entities that are older than me and not created by my psyche, and there are lots that are fractures of me. You just have to learn to deal with them, be they original entities or pieces of you (no reference to the Jewel song intended), and you will in time.

[eruditeboredom.livejournal.com]

btw, no, i don't know why Cassius felt the need to contribute twice.