Just need help...

[cozcacuauhtli.livejournal.com]

Um, hello. We don't even know what to begin with. Our short bio, maybe.

  First, there was only She, the main personality, who had inhabited our [male] body since birth.
At the age of 6 or 7 She created me [Grif], probably because She was lonely and needed friends. We had been growing up together, but She forgot about my existence pretty soon. She then made some real "friends", who involved Her in doing horrible things. Of course, I tried to talk Her out of it, but She didn't want to lose Her new "friends" and thus kept doing everything to please them. Later, She realized there was a monstrous tissue of lies and mistakes made by Her and decided to commit suicide. The body pulled through, but her personality was shattered and a new personality [Krezt] appeared [by separating from me].
Damn, I've never told anybody about my past, but I believe it's somehow connected to my present problem. So...
 
    I can't concentrate at all! It feels like there is mental noise in my mind, consisting of Her thoughts, memories and feelings. Now I spend most part of my free time sitting in the corner and staring blankly, I cannot think, decide or do anything. There's a bunch of problems snowballing meanwhile, and I know I must solve them but I can't even move a finger.
Krezt also can't fight with it, though he has a great deal more will-power.
 Please, ANY advice would be useful! I need to get out of this state.     
                                                                                                                 >Grif<

Comments

[gryphons.livejournal.com]

Heya.. *comfort* you're welcome here..

[cozcacuauhtli.livejournal.com]

I'm really happy I've found this community. In our country, if one tells people that he has a mental disorder, they just put him away in psikhushka.
>Grif<

[gryphons.livejournal.com]

*nods* russian? I'm sorry we don't much advice right now..Journaling has always been good for us.. whether her or on paper, or where ever.. get the stuff out of our head.. and out on paper, also helps us evaluate stuff..

[cirape.livejournal.com]

How long ago did this last seperation occur? And how long ago did the noise start?
That might help in figuring things out.

--Axel

[cozcacuauhtli.livejournal.com]

Krezt separated two years ago. And the noise started last week.
>Grif<

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Well, if it only started last week, maybe there is a distinct reason for it. Have you tried leaving notes, talking to the others, like "Hey, what's all the racket for?" Some people say they get this sort of cacophony of voices when there is someone (doesn't have to be a new person) trying to communicate and having trouble. Trying to get your attention.

If it helps, She is not alone on this community in having had the wrong "friends", having to do things to please them and then finding out she'd made a terrible mistake. There are others here (ourselves included) who sympathize.

[cozcacuauhtli.livejournal.com]

Hello, I'm Krezt.
I've tried communicating with her but failed. Being scattered, she is incapable of normal talking. But there's one thing that bothers me - Can those bloody parts of her somehow merge into Grif? He has been acting quite strange recently.
¬Krezt¬

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Merge, I don't know, but they could affect him, being in such close range, it sounds like you need to distance yourselves from it, and as you have described that is very difficult, you haven't found a way to get out of that area yet.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

What I would think is that maybe she's trying to pull herself back together again, and that might be perceived by others in the system as the kind of "mental noise" you describe.

[unicorn-crest.livejournal.com]

It's been a bad couple of weeks for a lot of people I know. Dunno if it's the stars or what, but you're not alone (any of you).

I think I agree with what others have said about the possibility of Her trying to pull stuff together. Perhaps one of you could have a mental sit-down with her and chat stuff out? Maybe she's just trying to be heard and needs to get some stuff off her chest?

-Ten

[cozcacuauhtli.livejournal.com]

It's painful to agree with you but you are right. Isn't there any way to stop this process? To kill/isolate her or something? Grif and I have tried our best to rectify her misdeeds, and now she's coming back to fuck everything up!
¬Krezt¬

[cozcacuauhtli.livejournal.com]

Unlike me, Krezt is more familiar with our "inner world", that's how he describes it , " It looks like our home has shrinked greatly. I remember it being vast and wild like the Pacific and now it resembles a deep and narrow swimming pool stuffed with Her "mental body" parts ¬as if She went through a meat grinder¬. And we're both stuck in that pool, brother, unable to clean it out and/or escape it."[not quite accurate translation of what Krezt wrote in our journal]
Apart from Krezt's observations, we don't have the foggiest idea of what's going on.

The world is shattering again.

[cozcacuauhtli.livejournal.com]

Ehh, took me some time to get to the Internet. Grif was out front, smashing his brains with some creepy classical music at full volume.
Guess none of you will mind if I make a separate comment as a response to your replies.
We did get rid of that noise. Grif helped Her to recover, talked to Her and..went insane completely. Our "inner world" is a peculiar little madhouse now. There are two potential suicides ¬Grif and She¬, a 25-year-old man suffering from dementia ¬Jhkey¬ and an awfully indulgent "doctor" ¬Krezt¬, who's trying his best to help his "patients". Yeah, things look blue... I wonder if I should make my own post to this community concerning this new problem. Anyway, many thanks everybody for your support!

¬Krezt¬