In Control

[fraginfairy.livejournal.com]

I'm finding myself out and in "control" I guess would be the word more often, recently. With all this stuff about moving and yadda, old friends clinging to the host and the host having to part ways, it's been rather difficult, tiring, and most of all to me: annoying.

Question: Is there a reason a host (is that what I should call you "real" people?) picks a certain personality over the others? For the longest time, Dad (Darth, who's gotta be here favorite!) took over, but more and more often now it seems to be me. Is her favoritism swtiching? Is it justa change in the psyche? Or has sis finally realized I'm just oh so much cooler than all the rest of those losers?

Whatever. Just a question up for grabs. Any ideas?

~Frag

Comments

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Well, we're all real people... I'm not sure I understand the question. Are you saying that your group has a host (not all do), and that the host designates or assigns who should front at what times?

Some groups do have setups like that -- sort of a gatekeeper. If I'm understanding you correctly. But this person would not necessarily have to be a host, more of a coordinator. I would think deciding who fronts would be determined by external as well as internal factors. Try asking her?

[fraginfairy.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know we're all real people (but we can't tell sarcasm on print now, unfortunately). Yeah, she decides, kinda like some kinda dictator. Well, there are times when we kinda come out when needed, or we want to, but she's got a scary good handle on us. I guess since she's the... "original"(?) I guess, she wants to remain in control.

[our-menagerie.livejournal.com]

I am the "host" for lack of a better word. I dont always have control over who fronts or when. For the most part all of us main fronters have the ability to have just as much control. I wouldnt say I have "favorites" but like any real life relationships there are certain people you connect to more easily or get along better with than others. I have found these connections with people in our system have changed over time and continue to change as each of us grow or go through different things. That is my pov anyway but not sure if that is what is going on with your system.

sj

[fraginfairy.livejournal.com]

Thanks a lot for your imput. That may be the case...

[our-menagerie.livejournal.com]

There is something else I forgot to mention. I dont seem to be able to go as far inside as everyone else. There are times when I would really love to give up total control and cant for some reason. As far as I can tell there are at least 3 of us here who are or were "the original" but I am the only one who happened to grow to the bodys current age so by default I guess am the host. Its confusing sometimes. It struck a nerve because I have been called a dictator before LOL but I try to make an effort to not be that way anymore. I do end up being out the most though so I think other people may still see me that way but *shrugs* if anyone here wants to come out they can and usually do if they really want to.

sj

[lightdestiny.livejournal.com]

we find that things tend to go in cycles a bit. sometimes we'll have one person who comes up to front lots, then the next month they're hardly there at all and it's someone else. doesn't seem to necessarily reflect anyone's preferences (not conscious ones anyway). maybe she's just finding it's easier for you to come up, lately, or something? or as our_menagerie said, if it is a conscious-control thing then perhaps it's just a case of you two naturally growing closer. is it a problem for the rest or are they okay with staying a bit further back right now?

J.

[weirdiguess.livejournal.com]

Uh... 'Real people'? 'Picks'?

I dunno about anybody else, but what we see here is people switch around. Nobody has control enough just to sit and pick people like they're masks or something. We front because we want to.

[shandra.livejournal.com]

Ummm - ask her? :)

[familiasystem.livejournal.com]

In our case, it ended up that I'm the one most able to "cope" with the outside world, so I kinda took the front (along with Rana, who gets to be my arms and legs).