(no subject)

[tigerfae.livejournal.com]

This is a rather odd question but I'll ask it anyway-

Well, first off, a little bit about me. I'm 23, 5 months pregnant, and have been living with DID for 4 years. My others have been dormant for quite some time. Ever since I got married, I think we've all learned to coexist together for the greater good of the body. Thanks to therapy, everyone has their own space in my head where they can go when they need. Unfortunately, my issues and memories aren't resolved. Which leads me to my problem...

Being pregnant, I have to put up with being examined every few months. I hate this. It's not pretty. I scream at my midwife, kick at her, struggle, and just cry cry cry. It's an awful experience, every single time. My question to you mothers is this- how did you get through your labor and delivery? I want a natural delivery, but I'm so afraid that the labor sensations and being examined and the pain are going to bring out the worst in me... or worse, bring out someone else, like one of the littles. Basically, I'm afraid it will go horribly wrong. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Comments

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

The last pregnant lady multiple we knew, two of them were really into being mothers, and those two were out a lot and took care of anything to do with the pregnancy, going to the dr., etc. Neither have been mothers in the earth world or in their own world before, but one of them had some midwife training in her world and knew something about it and what to expect. Maybe you could find someone in your system who's like that?

[dreamingkat.livejournal.com]

examined every few months? you've only seen the midwife twice? Can you see her more often? get used to her being near you? even if she's not examining you? (I don't know how often you're supposed to see a midwife, but I know at the end - last 6 weeks or so - of a pregnancy guided by an allopathic/western doctor you see the doctor every week.)

Something seems weird here. We're sterile, but we've seen birth and pregnancies and had exams and remember being pregnant in past lives.

By natural, do you mean no pain medications or just that you want a vaginal delivery? If the former, does anyone know how to meditate? Are you talking with someone who could give you teas that can speed and ease the delivery?

If you are having serious issues with being examined, it causes me to be a bit worried.

I'm really sleepy, so I apologize if I said anything amis... we better run off now... best of luck, and we'll look at this again when awake.

[storyteller2001.livejournal.com]

hi.

we don't have much in the way of direct advice, but...

first off, we're really sorry that this is being so hard and scary for you right now. I would imagine that the fear of what might happen if someone else comes out is likely exaserbating the terror you are already feeling, just because it's an unknown.

have you tried to talk with your therapist about this? are you able to communiccate with everyone inside and maybe try to make a joint plan on how to deal with things? Do you know why the process is being so triggering to you? Have you spoken to the midwife about what you are dealing with and what your concerns are? does your husband know and understand what is going on? is he able to be helpful and supportive and potentially stabilizing? do you have one or more friends who know and understand you and/or your situation and/or your system who could be with you when you meet with the midwife, and when you go into labor? is there anything that you know of that helps you and/or others in the system, specifically the littles since you mentioned specific concern about them, to feel safe/protected/grounded?

have i asked enough questions yet ;) (sorry. i didn't mean to overwhelm and hope i haven't. it sounds like a really really rough situation and i wish there was something specific we could do to help)

please take care. good luck and feel free to keep writing here and keep us posted on what's going on and how you are doing.

wishing you peace and safety,
storyteller

Not overwhelming

[tigerfae.livejournal.com]

Actually, your questions made me realize that I should go back and see my therapist. Money is tight right now, but it would be worthwhile to set up some appointment towards the end of my pregnancy. Thanks for helping me clear my head. =)

[tigerfae.livejournal.com]

I guess its not the examinations that I fear, so much as that they lead me to think that I might not make it through my labor in a good and healthy way. I do prenatal yoga three times a week and I am pretty comfortable with the relaxation/meditation techniques. As you suggest, I think I just need to speak more with my midwives about my fears. I also agree with another post, that I should perhaps return to my therapist for a short time. Thanks for your help and concern!

[tigerfae.livejournal.com]

The only one in my group that knows much about birthing is me, because for a while I thought I wanted to be a midwife. I don't know if I still do or not, but that's a different matter. Anyway, I do feel like I have some options now. Thanks for your help!