Multiplicity

One lesson I seemed to have learned, and painfully, is a different lesson than most have experienced.. but maybe it would hold true if they had followed my same path. For a long time I was really open with everyone. Otherwise it was so obvious people would think I was batshit crazy or a flake or something. But I hate the way people act like its all made up for attention, so I started wondering if I should keep it to myself. Just this once, I dated a guy and kept it secret. Then I fell in love. Way into the relationship, during some bumpy times, I told him. He pretty much treated me like I had told him something horrible and scary, and reacted worse than any one I had previously know (a lot of my friends just shrugged and went "Oh, cool, that makes sense." Our relationship went downhill from there. I have no idea how much of a role that played but it seemed to me that I lost his respect, and when he started dating someone else they used it against me in all sorts of gossip and mocking. I realized that, even though many people wouldn't believe me, or would just blow me off, I'm better off being up front right away. Then if it's something they can't deal with, they're gone before we get too close. But something this obvious could never really be a secret, and I tend to think that any multiple who thinks they're successfully "in the closet:" is in denial about what other people see.

As for my parents, they can't and won't believe me, because they prefer to live in denial and it implies too much about them that I turned out this way. However, my mom did say to me that after I age 7 I became a totally different person overnight, and that I was a totally different person in my first (very abusive) marriage.

Good luck to you.