multiplicity_archives | Scary headspace

For those who don't know, I'm a mid-continuum, which I liken to being a mental shapeshifter. When I "put on" different "masks," I become other people. I call being that person or thing to be "in [such-and-such] headspace."

Most of these headspaces are places I regularly go, whether they are becoming one of the main ones I become (multiples would call these "system mates"), or others I don't become very often. I also like to experiment, try to get into the headspace of other people or other creatures, even into fictional people and creatures (especially ones I have created).

A month or so ago, I decided to experiment at getting myself into the headspace of a shape-shifting race I made up for a series of stories. They call themselves "Nothingness"es, for a variety of reasons. Anyway, I knew their headspace would be vastly different from my own, being that they are extremely intelligent, control their emotions uncannilly well, and think of humans as "clever animals," who have the goal of manipulating human breeding to uplift humans to their level of intelligence.

So anyway, I went through with it, got into the headspace of a Nothingness... IT. SCARED. ME. WITLESS. While in this headspace, I was not scared. Far from it, I felt like a Nothingness. Cool, calm, calculating, with an arrogance so powerful that it would make the Romulans of Star Trek look humble; an arrogance so powerful that it transcended arrogance altogether. I wrote an email to my girlfriend Lilla, replying to an email she'd sent me, while in this headspace. I wish I hadn't. We eventually got past the incident, since it had scared both of us. As a Nothingness, I was quite civil and polite with her, but reading it over again later, it seethed a form of malevolence that was quiet and bereft of passion, and was directed at her as though it were pity directed at a bug that was fascinating but you would squish it as soon as you grew bored of it. In the letter, I clearly laid out the point of view of the Nothingness race.
It was little wonder the incident scared her. Reading the letter later, I was terrified. I've decided never to go into that headspace again. The view of the Nothingnesses are much like those of utilitarian bioethicists, and those SOB's terrify me.

Anyone else ever gone into headspace that scared them witless?

Chaotic Blessings;
---Fayanora