Hi

[arkasy.livejournal.com]

Question for ya'll. Never been to a psychiatrist, but I have some concerns I guess. Had childhood trauma, and just wondering about some experiences. I want to say up front that I don't think I'm DID, but maybe just Disassociative..I can turn pain and emotions off, bouts of depression, people telling me I have mood swings and me not knowing what they're talking about, and huge holes in my memory. Night terrors, sleepwalking, voices(distinct, different voices on different sides of my head), and a very unnerving feeling that I'm watching myself do things, as opposed to actually doing them. If there are any other people floating around, they don't have names, but as I said, I'm pretty sure that there's no DID here.

I guess my question is whether or not I should be concerned. I want to also make it clear that none of this interferes with my quality of life or functionality at all.

Anyway, I'm not trying to be combative, just somewhat confused. Sorry if I've come off that way.

Comments

[moonfroggy.livejournal.com]

i have found therapy to be very helpfull for me, being dissociative has not interfered with the quality of my life, well sometiems it has but mostly it hasn't, but other things that are related to childhood trauma have efected my life a lot like horble awful anxiety and depression, therapy has helped a lot with those things, therapy is really hard work and it takes a long time, from what you said it certainly sounds like you might fit with the diagnosis did, i don't liek the term did i like plural better, i don't think that it is a dissorder for me, and yeah lots of reasons, i wish you a lot of luck with whatever you decide to do

[kiya]

I spent two years significantly dissociative - emotional null, depression (but I'm clinically depressive anyway), some memory gapping, and watching-self-do-things. Possibly other stuff, but I don't remember that time period very well at all. (I often describe it as "I wasn't in; I wish I'd sent me a postcard so I knew where I went.")

My experience of dissociation is that it was a form of taking a step back while my mind processed through the trauma involved. When I'd figured out how to react to the trauma, my I came back.

I would not be surprised if a childhood trauma were significantly more difficult to assimilate than one in young adulthood. Whether or not you want to pursue expediting the process or getting assistance with it is probably entirely yours; my experience is that it is easier to get hurt without the dissociation (that is, after all, part of the point), but that it's also easier to find and build satisfying romantic relationships, find joy in my work, and other things which I consider more important than avoiding the hurt now that I'm not so messed up that I can't handle it.

Some things I should note about living a post-dissociative life: I don't remember those two years very well. I can pick out a couple of events that I know happened, like some fragments of my trip to Spain, but those two years mostly feel like someone filmed a life and pasted it into my memories rather than something that I experienced. Getting out of dissociation doesn't mean that the original trauma is resolved or no longer has an effect; it took me something like eight more years after I came out of the dissociation to not have it be a significant part of my life.

I have seen psych-sorts and counsellors. It's worth noting that if you want to go that route, go to the extra effort to find someone that you actually feel comfortable talking to. There's no point in going to the effort if there's no rapport and you don't feel like talking about the deep stuff. The person I was seeing through my period of dissociation I didn't feel comfortable enough with to talk to; I also didn't feel comfortable enough with (or involved enough with) anyone else to wind up telling anyone that.

I hope some of that is useful to you; please feel free to ask for questions and clarifications and additional thoughts.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

I don't remember those two years very well. I can pick out a couple of events that I know happened, like some fragments of my trip to Spain, but those two years mostly feel like someone filmed a life and pasted it into my memories rather than something that I experienced.

Interesting... we have some periods of times past which we remember that way, exactly as you describe them. In our case, we couldn't figure out if it was because they just weren't very happy times in general or because the person fronting then is no longer with us, and if she were, her memories would be more available for immediate access to all of us. I'm not sure, really. Maybe a combination of both.

[(Anonymous)]

Random surfer - hi :) I'm not sure what you mean that hole in your memory, night terrors, etc. don't interfere with the quality of your life. I believe you but I don't really understand what that means for you. All those things would interfere with my life.

I wouldn't look for a psychiatrist. That's who you go to when you're sick and as you said, you're not. But a therapist can help you look for areas in which you're stuck and want to get moving. If these areas are issues for you, that's probably a good place to explore them. Don't let the labels keep you from figuring out what you want out of your life. :)

[(Anonymous)]

Why not just try talking to the voices? Leave them notes or something if that doesn't work. Find out if they're people or just the random inner voices that people sometimes have.

[ninquelote.livejournal.com]

I guess my question is whether or not I should be concerned. I want to also make it clear that none of this interferes with my quality of life or functionality at all.

Well, that pretty much answers your question about DID, doesn't it? ;) If a disorder is defined as something that interferes with everyday functioning, well, that scratches it off the list of possibilities.

As to whether you're multiple: I wish I could help you out more, because it sounds like you're having quite a bit of confusion over this, though you're the only one who can answer that for yourself (or selves). Depression, mood swings, night terrors, and memory gaps can all have a wide variety of causes. I would say you may have cause to be concerned about those, but multiplicity per se isn't something which is intrinsically scary or worth worrying over, so relax. The best way to find out if you're multiple, seriously, is to just try talking to the others-- the thoughts that feel as if they are not from you, the impulses of otherness-- and see if they respond. From all I've seen and heard, the good old-fashioned 'talk to them' method really works the best.

You did mention past trauma. I would say that what you're describing sound like symptoms of PTSD to me, which can have a wide variety of manifestations. For that, you might find therapy to be helpful, although if you do decide you're multiple, I really have to advise you to watch out-- emphasize that what you want to work on are the PTSD issues, and that the multiplicity is not the problem and not what needs fixing. If they insist otherwise, stop seeing them and go to a different therapist. I am pretty militant about this, I do admit, because I've seen so many multiples who could have been functional and healthy kept in therapy for years due to insistience that their multiplicity was the 'real' problem. Makes me sad and angry, really. Anyway, best of luck to you in your explorations.

[kueidan.livejournal.com]

I think there will be some differences between people. My brother didn't know about .. us.. until two of us got into a fight. That was before my time..

When he found out, things became hard on all of us, because it scared him. One of us didn't like the fact he found out and.. did things to him that weren't really pleasant. It took us two years to get to a point where we all got along.

Anyway.. I decided to respond because of your commant about the psychiatrist. We saw one here.. leading doctor on multiple personalities in Canada. And he didn't handle us well. Tried using hypnosis.. put us through sleep tests.. talked with my brother but not us.. and he was an 'expert'?

If you do have others with you.. work with them yourself, I don't think any doctor can really know what is best for you. Only if you become a threat to yourself or someone else should you consider professional help, and I suggest a psychologist over a psychiatrist. Our family doctor is quite nice..