(no subject)

[softanimal.livejournal.com]

hi everyone,

i just joined this community, and i'm humbled to be here.

i have some questions regarding my girlfriend's situation; i'm desperately hoping someone (or many someones) will be able to help.


my girlfriend isn't sure she has "MPD," as she's never been officially diagnosed. also, she only experiences one other personality (or being) in addition to "her own;" is this unusual? it seems most of you have multiple beings within your system or body (forgive me, i'm rather naive of the accepted terminology. my intention is certainly not to offend anyone; i come here with only the deepest respect and genuine desire to learn). what are your thoughts?

more seriously: her alternate 'personality' is a dangerous one, a woman named lyric who constantly threatens to endanger, and even end, my girlfriend's life. when lyric emerges (which only seems to happen under great duress) she's violent both to my gf and others around her (of course, my girlfriend remembers nothing of these episodes after the fact). i'm terrified for her safety, and really have no idea what to do about lyric, whom she calls her 'dark side.'

do any of you have personalities who threaten your safety and/or life? how do you handle it? my girlfriend is scared to seek psychiatric assistance because she's sure that if she's honest, she'll be thrown in a psych ward without second thought. she is also really leery of medication.

help, please??

thank you so much,
heather.

Comments

[eridanusus.livejournal.com]

Hey
first ecsuse my spelling or wahtever, I'm drinking and when I do that my english goes out the window and it's not that great to start with.

plenty people we know only have one other so don't worry bout that. I have one called Damus who's a bit of a psychopath, but he isn't like the mindless destructive tpe.. he's actually quite smart about things, and more cold and calculatingly subtle. Which in some ways is a lot scarier. Has anyone tried talking to lyric as a person and trying to understand why she's like this? most people aren't vilent and angry without a reason. if you can't talk to her when she's out coz she's angryk trying writing to her.

[softanimal.livejournal.com]

i'm actually not sure. my gf and i started dating only a month or so ago and i have yet to see lyric fronting. i'll ask her, though. i know she's written lyric a few letters.

she also thinks lyric has something to do with her father, whom she's never met and only knows through family stories. apparently her father has/had 'MPD' too and it unfortunately caused him to be really violent and fucked up in many ways.. my gf thinks lyric is a direct (and perhaps genetic) manifestation of her father.. like her father's demons residing within her.

[our-menagerie.livejournal.com]

My name is Arika(now, but it use to be "Nobody"). I am the one who landed us all in the psych hospital more times than not. As far as I know, the only way she would be put in one involuntarily would be if she is a minor or actively threatened to kill herself or someone else. I could be wrong of course but thats what I think. The only thing I can do is tell you what finally got through to me was sj writing letters directly to me. She asked me some questions in them and sometimes asked for help like what would I do in a certain situation or something. I thought that was weird since I didnt even want to help her, I wanted to kill her(the body). I have only ever hurt the body once since then and that was back when I felt no one was listening to me again. I have trouble making my thoughts/voice/whatever heard. The others dont always hear me as clearly as they do each other and it can be frustrating.
Maybe lyric has something like that going on? I dont know what else to say, not use to talking much to people but if you have any questions just ask.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

Usually when someone thinks they have 'a dark side' one of several things are going on. One is that this person is feeling suppressed, or scared and/or hurt, or that the frontrunner(s) are not listening to them and now believes they have to resort to acting out and threats to get the attention of the other(s).

Or, they might have unconventional ideas about morality which someone else interprets to be or fears to be evil, which is what happened to us for a while with Ruka. Someone may consider themselves to be acting in the best interest of the group, or protecting someone else.

Or this person might believe they themselves are evil and can't escape it even if they wanted to. They may even have been told by someone in their life that they were evil or deranged (Ruka was at one point) and came to think it was true. Your description of her father's violent behaviour and the other person's fear that they had 'inherited' his problems, maybe even genetically, probably have a lot to do with it.

Anyway, I would concur with the sentiment that people are rarely violent without reason. Does lyric ever reply to the letters, or do they have other means of communication, besides writing to one another? The most important thing when there's a system conflict is to get some form of communication going, even if it's indirect.

[wylddelirium.livejournal.com]

Mel started out being the destructive force; zie has little understanding that most people witness the violence and get hurt, rather than run away. Over time we've been able to convince Mel that being "protective" is okay, whereas acting from a place of unbridled violence is not.

And really, I have four members of my system. I've met plenty of mulitples who only have two.

[vinik.livejournal.com]

Others here seem to have covered this ground already better than we would. 'chuckle'

I used to be rather, er, problematic in my younger years. Basically it was for a number of reasons, and it did take me a long time to get completely past it. When people started to listen to me, it got better. Gradually, of course, because it's really hard to trust people who pretended you weren't there or were a fucking demon for years, but it happened.

As for the psychiatric factor, yeah up here in Ontario (man I feel weird when I say things like that) they don't put you in the ward for disclosing that kind of thing. Of course, if there is an actual attempt on her life or to hurt anyone else, that's a different story entirely, but they don't tend to keep you for too long and tend to refer you to day programs or the like. As for meds, we understand where she's coming from, and we actually found that antidepressants made our ability to communicate with one another worse (which made me feel even less human and a hell of a lot more suicidal). And anti-anxiety drugs are loaded with side-effects (and many are addictive). Some multiples feel they do well on meds. We don't. We haven't taken them in years, and instead have received counselling for the abuse we received in the past, along with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

I would recommend to your girlfriend to seek counselling. I'm kinda iffy on her getting a psychiatric assessment. Getting it done with can help a lot, but can also leave you with labels that can screw you over later (having experience with this lately). I would also have her thoroughly research MPD/DID as well before she may be labelled with the diagnosis, because there's a lot about being Multiple that the docs don't know or may not tell her based on their own personal biases. There are links on the user info page here and others can give recommendations as well to help with that.

-Kennedy

[pengke.livejournal.com]

There's also the possibility that your girlfriend isn't really multiple. Sometimes people create or use other people in their system to act out things they feel that they can't or shouldn't do as themselves. For some reason, this seems to be the case more frequently with two person systems than with larger ones. I think it might have to do with the opposing dichotomy that you can get with two, ie. good vs. bad.

There are two ways that this could be the case with your girlfriend. One is that she is purposely claiming to be Lyric to avoid responsibility for her actions. In that case, she is lying about not remembering things and the letters she has written to Lyric are either a prop to embellish her fabrication or they're a way to get increased attention. The other possibility is that she's not doing it on purpose. She may have started by taking aspects of herself that she didn't like and distancing herself from them possibly to the point of saying they belonged to someone else. In one guy we knew, it took the form of him pretending to have this alter ego. With her having the idea and framework of MPD to base this process on, it would be easy for her to progress to saying then believing that it was Lyric being the one to hurt herself and other people. In this case, the memory loss would be more along the lines of her refusing to look at the memories and think about what she did because it might reveal that it had been her all along instead of Lyric. Since you said that it happens only under strain, it's also possible that Lyric is your girlfriend going into, for lack of a better word, a blind rage. It's not uncommon for people to black out during outbursts of extreme anger.

[softanimal.livejournal.com]

your response makes me quite uncomfortable, as this is not something she would ever, ever do. she is only sincere, and she is truly frightened. though nonetheless i will hesitantly present this idea to her.

[nat-leia.livejournal.com]

Makes you uncomfy? Really? Sometimes things that make us feel fizzy the most are the ones that are helpful insights to the situation. Only what's strong in us can touch us strongly, we think.

As well, we have some members w serious problems. Nat is currently going down and really much depressed, again considering some form of self-harm... I'm now more cynical form of Megan (M. was forced to leave the system before). We think we can be a bit of help here, though it matters what is just strong ASPECT and what is yet personality. The moon has many faces.

Meaghan

[softanimal.livejournal.com]

it makes me uncomfortable because i know for a fact that's not her, and it hurts to read something like that. nevertheless i will tell her about the comment, because i'm posting here for her, in a sense, as she's a bit too intimidated to do it herself. so she deserves to know the truth of everyone's responses.

as for this:

'we think we can be a bit of help here, though it matters what is just strong ASPECT and what is yet personality. the moon has many faces.'

i would love some elaboration? (i'm just a little confused.. apologies) :)

thanks so much.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

*points to what pengke says*

About idea and framework: Some people honestly believe they have MPD when they experience what you've described, or find that to be the easiest way to describe it, because that's the cultural trope. It's what they've seen on television. (Read back a few posts -- we just discussed MPD in the media.) Films like Sybil and Shattered Mind are shown quite often, talk shows feature people who are said to have MPD who have been involved in criminal or reckless behavior, the connection is constantly reinforced.

Having no memory of violent or irrational episodes can have physiological causes including but not limited to migraine and various medications. A person might be a singlet, but be described by others as being "two people" or as having a "split personality" due to these factors.

[softanimal.livejournal.com]

this makes more sense to me.
thank you.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

She's welcome to get her own account and post here and ask questions.