(no subject)

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

Just a coupla questions...

We've heard other multiples say that they don't want to be co-conscious, that they value being able to keep their experiences seperate. We definitely agree that co-consciousness is not always a good thing, but the problem is, for us, it was never a choice; we've always been -too- co-conscious, to the point where, although we're very different from each other in many ways, we can't keep any secrets.

It's hard trying to find actual advice on this, since most plurals we've heard of are trying to go in the other direction, but we're still looking, because we're very interested.

I wonder sometimes how much of our problems come from being too concerned about it, that we focus on it too much and we could be more private if we could just relax and -not- focus on seeing if anyone else in here is trying to keep a secret (as it is, it's like trying not to think of an elephant, if you know that story).

But yeah-- I'd be more than happy to have some privacy in here, or if I could buy birthday presents for the others and have them not know-- if we had ever had a choice in the matter.


Anthea

Comments

like telling the wind where to blow

[myrlings.livejournal.com]

i think that we have in the past, sought this out. for us it has been something we've had to go about indirectly, carefully. thinking loud thoughts about not wanting to be co-conscious might get us heard.

for us co-consciousness drifts like a haze, in and out. mostly beyond our control.
but i know sometimes... not asking, not wanting to know. if you exist in landscape together inside, try moving in different directions for a while... get your own houses on opposite sides of town (the forest, the castle, wherever). and... oh, just a subtle push always, not to know. i am embarrassed actually to admit that this has gone on. but there have been things we've needed to hide from ourselves.

but for us, we can't choose when to be co-conscious. and perhaps, if we did push things this way, we are paying the price in loneliness, in not being able to talk to each other whenever we want, in some of us not knowing how to navigate life when they're out.

i'm not sure whether we want to be co-conscious or not. it's an interesting question.

kerry

[prettyrazor.livejournal.com]

Our system is generally co-conscious (with the exception of Becky, who always loses time if she's not out, and a couple of others can sometimes block the rest of us out). It's usually a good thing, except when someone wants to do something private. (Such as Dolores, a rather sexual alter, wanting to have some fun, so to speak, but not always being able to get the littles to go deeper inside so they don't see it.) I know it can be a pain, if you want to buy something for someone. We've managed to keep Melinda's birthday present from our girlfriend a secret only because we've made an effort not to let te knowledge get to her. It's a lot of work.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

With us it isn't exactly co-consciousness, it's the memory pool and the library. Everything goes in it, and everyone has access to it at all times, and this has been so from the beginning. Obviously so that people who came up front would know what was going on and not lose track. We did not put this in place deliberately, it's just there.

So for us, the thing is not to go looking. People have to be willing to not open boxes or doors that say "do not open". (And for us, that's asking quite a bit!)

When we first began exploring our living situation back in '87 and we were reading all those good old MPD books (ick), we used to try deliberately to not be aware of what happened when someone else was up front. We thought that would make us more "authentic", besides the obvious advantages.

The Anachronic Army have almost no co-consciousness or communal awareness of this sort and some of them have said to us that they wonder why anyone would want to be like that. And have to leave all those post-its. Well, here we are almost forty-six physically and the brain's starting to lose track and have all the little middle-aged forgetty things and we're having to leave post-its and make lists anyhow!

Leaving us to wonder, of the many people who were misdiagnosed in the 90s, how many of them were just getting to that age (creak).

[larzmachine.livejournal.com]

"With us it isn't exactly co-consciousness, it's the memory pool and the library. Everything goes in it, and everyone has access to it at all times, and this has been so from the beginning"

Sounds a lot like Us, except that Margaux has some control over what gets accessed or doesn't at times. It gets on My nerves sometimes, but I understand why she does it. For Us it isn't so much a problem of lack of info, it's a problem of her deciding to share something one of Us would prefer not to know, usually at the worst possible time.

We never really "explored" the situation much, since it's just how things have always worked. Then We got involved with Our present gf, and exploration became the order of the day. A lot of it is because so many of Her Krew seem to prefer Margaux to the rest of Us because of that whole "girl talk" deal.

Yes, I'm aware I'm babbling.

In response to the original poster's question, I guess We're probably never going to integrate, simply because this system has worked for Us for over 20 years. I credit this to My sterling leadership of course. As the rest of the Krew rolls their eyes like Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack's infamous "It looks good on YOU though" scene.

[36.livejournal.com]

We have the same thing. Quite often we'll find that we don't remember some thing or other that someone else here did but it's far more likely to be something that it would actually be useful to know what happened than a thing that would be nice to have as a sercret from or surprise for something. In fact if you think at all about how you don't want someone in here to know something yet you've probably guarenteed that they will. Very fustrating.

Some not accustomed to front people have the trick of losing bits of memory which then even they wouldn't be able to remember, which is even less useful.

I suppose we just do a sort of trust and respect thing. It's most likely we do know someone else's confidential information but if you weren't the one who was told it you're likely to be even more guarded of it than they would.

I guess that sort of thing makes it slightly harder for outsiders to treat you as totally seperate, because talking to someone evevitably means that others gain the same information or something.

But le sigh, I think it's just an intrigal part of our operating structure and I'm not sure if it would even be possible to change it.

~~Alex (and co.)

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

That sounds a lot like our situation, actually. We often worry that outside people will see us as untrustworthy since secrets generally don't stay with just one person, or that we'll be seen, especially by those in non-co-conscious systems, as being somehow less real or valid or less of people (english bah) than them.

What I'm wondering is if it's a sort of tradeoff... I mean, there are things we -like- about co-consciousness, definitely, especially if someone is dealing with a difficult situation and has others around to help them out. We wouldn't want to give that up. Would we have to in order to have privacy? Is that the trade, that we can't have it both ways? I'm not sure. I'm wondering if there is any way that a sort of middle ground could be reached, where we could be both co-conscious and keep our memories to ourselves if we wanted.


-anth

[asrai-d.livejournal.com]

I think being co-concious is almost survival for us. People have tried to gain total control but I don't know if I can't let go of front or just won't. The idea of losing time scares me. Tho it has happened.

Asrai

[larzmachine.livejournal.com]

"The idea of losing time scares me. Tho it has happened"

Heh. Control freak. ;)

Same situation here. I HATE losing time. It's like "what will those lowlifes get up to if I'm not watching like a hawk?"

How do I know they're lowlifes? They DO live in My head...

[asrai-d.livejournal.com]

yeah, it is a control thing. i have no idea what some people would do with the body if i let them.

Re:

[larzmachine.livejournal.com]

Been there. The even scarier problem is that I know what a few of them would do because they've done it before.

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

When we first started out talking to each other, I was a control freak like you wouldn't believe. I was scared half to death of some of the others because I was afraid they might deliberately go out and wreck my life just to spite me, because that's how it is in all the movies, of course, and the worst part was that I couldn't help thinking that if they did, I couldn't blame them, because I had -seriously- been screwing them over for the last few years.

But we all started talking, and now we're on good terms. I think.

Honestly, the worst thing that's ever happened to us as a result of someone being allowed to go off with the body unsupervised was that the person in question took the car out for a VERY long drive, and it didn't get into common knowledge somehow that the gas tank was close to empty when he got back, and so the car broke down on a desert highway and we had to hitchhike to a gas station. Heh. (Of course, that was Ruka who did that, and our biggest concern about him isn't that he leaves the gas tank empty, but that he might, if left unsupervised, end up taking over the world. XD)

I guess we do know each other well enough to be certain that there's no one in here with a vested interest in causing harm to the body; we all have an equal stake in it and want to ensure some kind of long-term security. Creating a sort of internal political structure was also safer for us than having one 'main' person, because there are four or five people in here who each have enough mental strength to override anyone who tried to do something that would be seriously destructive to us.

~Azu

[storyteller2001.livejournal.com]

hi.

a couple of things i guess.

anthea, i wonder if some of the techniques or ideas that are supposed to help people learn to have better/stronger/healthier bounderies with people might be appropriate or modifiable to help things inside. not saying anyone's sick or whatever, just it sounds like some of you would like to be able to decide what's private and what's shareable instead of everything being shared even when you don't want it to. so, i guess to me it sounds like maybe working on boundry stuff might help. and i don't have any to suggest. as an outside visible, the system boundery stuff sucks. i mean for the most part we don't know how to keep real good bounderies with other outside people (i.e. not in this body). so, we don't know of good ideas that would work. we can think of all kinds of ideas that might work, or imagery or analogy or whatever that might help, like some other people who have commented have suggested, and if you wanted i could probably tell you some of them, but i don't know you and what might work well for you specifically. anyway. hope i wasn't inappropriate and hope i made sense and all.

and, um, i don't know how to sign this. cause i don't think i've really been on the outside before and i don't know my name yet. i think i'm about 14 or 15 and i know i'm a boy and my name starts with a j, so, i guess i'll just sign it that way for now.

j (storyteller)

oh, and i think they'll make the other things a seperate comment, cause i think someone else wanted to talk about that. so, anyway, hope it was ok i wrote and all. see ya.