conversational gambits

[kaleidescope.livejournal.com]

ok so my roommate knows that we're multiple. but he doesn't, i think, really understand any of what that means. he just has a blank open mind about it.
so when he says things like um...
like today i came back from the bakery and i was all "i've never noticed
the machine that they use to tie up the boxes before! it's just all WHAM! WHAM!"
and he was like "the funny thing is that i've pointed that out to you
before."
and i thought about it for a while and didn't remember it at all and i KNOW that it was someone else in here. and now the kids are all "oh yeah it was so cool it was all wham! and it ties things up for you and how does it make the knots even?" but at the time my brilliant response was "You're weird."

which if he had asked was really "weird because he never remembers that
'i'm' multiple or seems to take it into account or think that there might be a reason that his roommate never remembers conversations or tells him the same thing lots of times or is very inconsistent about locking the door when we're at home or whatever." but he didn't ask :)

so what would have been the smooth and appropriate response that might point all that out to him?
i spose i could have been all "you didn't point it out to ME before" but most of the variations on that that i come up with sound too "i absolve myself of responsibility by being multiple! i am in a tv movie!" to me.

any suggestions?

- dani

Comments

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

We usually go ahead and say "You didn't tell me." Or, "I think I'm not the one you told."

We have so much common knowledge we can usually reach in and retrieve the information, but not always! (Also, it's getting pretty damn unreliable as the body gets older, so we do a lot of double-checking and we're starting to use lists.)

You can say it in such a way that it doesn't sound whiny or like you said, like TVMultiple. Make it sound like just a fact, like "the sky is blue" or "it's raining". He sounds like he's open enough to take that.

[moonfroggy.livejournal.com]

i always feel realy awkward when stuff like that happens, and i tend to say i have no memory of that, and then comment on wondering who was told or something, usually i prolly look a little afraid cuz i usually am a little afraid

[consortium.livejournal.com]

Just be matter-of-fact. "Ah... I bet that was someone else you told." or "I don't think I was there for that!" You'll find yourself in such a situation over and over, and if someone knows you're multiple, I think it's better to be honest and open about it. It shouldn't be too 'tv-multiple' if it's just the way it is.

Binsha

[larzmachine.livejournal.com]

""i absolve myself of responsibility by being multiple! i am in a tv movie!" "

Ever have someone do it in reverse? I've actually had people swear they didn't do something, then claim it was My Krew who told Me they did whatever. THAT gets bloody annoying. I mean, really, isn't it dirty pool to try and get out of something by blaming your actions on someone else's brain quirks?

It's called gaslighting...

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

after, yes, a film in which Charles Boyer tries to drive Ingrid Bergman crazy. He doesn't con her into thinking she's multiple, he just tells her she's done and said certain things and then forgotten. Or that other things she knows happened, he says didn't happen. He almost gets her to believe it. And it's really him that's done these awful things, because he wants to convince her she did it and think she's nuts so she'll allow herself to be institutionalized because he's after her inheritance. We have known people like this, and it had nothing to do with our being multiple.

Re: It's called gaslighting...

[larzmachine.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've heard about the movie. I don't think they're trying to convince Me I'm nuts (too bloody late!), just trying to play CYA games.

[kueidan.livejournal.com]

We have the same experiences once in a while. We seem to drift between sharing everything and having our own personal memories..

There will be something I know, that my brother shouldn't know, and.. while he knows the memory is there, he.. can't react to it, it's like something is stopping him from using that memory. To try to do so would hurt him, even though there's nothing wrong with it.. except that it is a private memory.

I don't know what to suggest.. my sister in law knows about us, and we get along fine, and our roomie knows about us, but I guess you can simply say 'when you talk to one of us, you're talking to one of us, not all of us.