Hello! me and big j are running things now and before it was just Big J, but she didn't do a very good job. she used to think she had to be the boss all the time and not let anyone feel sad or feel anything at all. (she was trying her best, she just didn't know how to be a mummy) i used to be scared to come out because i thought there were lots of bad people out there and we're only little. but now we brought our spiritguide chi who is a big lion and a little grrl with us when we're scared, but only we can see him. so we're not to scared any more. big j wants to talk. byeee
Hi there, We've been experimenting with Boo being in front for a bit. She's only 4 and she feels pretty intimidated by the outside world. But the reason I wanted her to come out is that my other little one has gone into my soulscape world after being out for quite a while and the little ones are better at being loving and playful. She gets scared easily, so when we started she only came out in bed. As soon as we cuddle Panda (panda is a outerworld teddybear but some of us see him as real inside too), she comes out and laughs and plays. Now she's started coming out outside our house, and if she gets too scared she can always slip back inside and I'll take over. When she's fronting (we tend to say "in charge"), I stay near the front too, ready to take over if she get's freaked out and wants to go inside. Or if she's going to make a bad decision like go to bed with someone because she thinks they are inviting her to be tucked up in bed, not sleep with them! Also she takes our Chi (spiritguide) from our soulscape world into the outerworld sometimes to make her feel safer. Plus I can send messages to her that she is loved and safe and that helps keep her calm.
I spent years in a monopoly not admitting the others existed. When we all came to know each other in therapy, I had to apologize to the other family members for not listening to them and for being abusive by trying to lock them away and not letting them get what they needed. Now we've forgiven each other and we operate a consensus not a dictatorship. At first, it was hard to give up control, because I have a good job and didn't want people to think I am crazy. But now I see that I don't need to be in charge all the time, I can let one of the others take over when I'm relaxing, or out with friends. But I try to stay near the surface in case I need to help out. It's such a relief not to have to be the in front all the time.
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timeasmymeasure
sharing the load
Date: 2005-11-25 08:52 pm (UTC)me and big j are running things now and before it was just Big J, but she didn't do a very good job. she used to think she had to be the boss all the time and not let anyone feel sad or feel anything at all. (she was trying her best, she just didn't know how to be a mummy) i used to be scared to come out because i thought there were lots of bad people out there and we're only little. but now we brought our spiritguide chi who is a big lion and a little grrl with us when we're scared, but only we can see him. so we're not to scared any more. big j wants to talk. byeee
Hi there,
We've been experimenting with Boo being in front for a bit. She's only 4 and she feels pretty intimidated by the outside world. But the reason I wanted her to come out is that my other little one has gone into my soulscape world after being out for quite a while and the little ones are better at being loving and playful. She gets scared easily, so when we started she only came out in bed. As soon as we cuddle Panda (panda is a outerworld teddybear but some of us see him as real inside too), she comes out and laughs and plays. Now she's started coming out outside our house, and if she gets too scared she can always slip back inside and I'll take over. When she's fronting (we tend to say "in charge"), I stay near the front too, ready to take over if she get's freaked out and wants to go inside. Or if she's going to make a bad decision like go to bed with someone because she thinks they are inviting her to be tucked up in bed, not sleep with them! Also she takes our Chi (spiritguide) from our soulscape world into the outerworld sometimes to make her feel safer. Plus I can send messages to her that she is loved and safe and that helps keep her calm.
I spent years in a monopoly not admitting the others existed. When we all came to know each other in therapy, I had to apologize to the other family members for not listening to them and for being abusive by trying to lock them away and not letting them get what they needed. Now we've forgiven each other and we operate a consensus not a dictatorship. At first, it was hard to give up control, because I have a good job and didn't want people to think I am crazy. But now I see that I don't need to be in charge all the time, I can let one of the others take over when I'm relaxing, or out with friends. But I try to stay near the surface in case I need to help out. It's such a relief not to have to be the in front all the time.
Hope this helps.
Big J