New person about, reading back entries before joining community . . .
I experience being median as being . . . there are thirteen of me, but we're all me. Most of the time we're co-conscious and co-front in various combinations (usually two or three of us), which means that most of the time we feel essentially singlet. I pulled out names a long, long time ago, and used them for trends, experiences of different flavors of my own consciousness. When I started pondering whether or not I might be median, I pegged those names to my separate selves.
We're all me. But we have different skill-sets, different means of addressing situations. And there are times (generally high-stress ones) when either only one can front at once, or (under different forms of stress) when nobody really fronts, because nobody can figure out who should be handling a situation.
I figured I had to be something when I was in a full-up seeing-red rage, went into a hyperventilation state, one of my other selves backstage noticed I was hyperventilating, started analysing it, and *snap*, I shifted front. The rage and the hormones were someone else's rage and hormones, just someone else who happens to also be me and live in this body. I've seen similar things since and have been learning to manipulate front consciously, but that was the dramatic thing that settled the question for me.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2003-04-07 12:39 am (UTC)I experience being median as being . . . there are thirteen of me, but we're all me. Most of the time we're co-conscious and co-front in various combinations (usually two or three of us), which means that most of the time we feel essentially singlet. I pulled out names a long, long time ago, and used them for trends, experiences of different flavors of my own consciousness. When I started pondering whether or not I might be median, I pegged those names to my separate selves.
We're all me. But we have different skill-sets, different means of addressing situations. And there are times (generally high-stress ones) when either only one can front at once, or (under different forms of stress) when nobody really fronts, because nobody can figure out who should be handling a situation.
I figured I had to be something when I was in a full-up seeing-red rage, went into a hyperventilation state, one of my other selves backstage noticed I was hyperventilating, started analysing it, and *snap*, I shifted front. The rage and the hormones were someone else's rage and hormones, just someone else who happens to also be me and live in this body. I've seen similar things since and have been learning to manipulate front consciously, but that was the dramatic thing that settled the question for me.