I chose to call myself Mercury for a reason

[mercuryisme.livejournal.com]

Hey, everyone...

From the user info page I thought I'd announce my presence here as a psych student, but I'm not interested in you people as guinea pigs... I have a seriously unorthodox fetish for the "crazies"... schizofrenia, multiples, furries, gender dysphoria... the people who don't belong, who feel out of place in their own skin, who are too much for themselves.

I wish I could live a thousand different lives sometimes, be the virgin and the whore and the child and the adult, the man and the woman. Being bisexual definitely raised some questions in my mind about whether or not I really wanted this female body of mine.

Don't be offended when I say part of me is jealous. But I guess you'd understand about "parts"... wouldn't you?

EDIT: I don't fetishize any of you, I have a tendency to use words offhand, I don't think about any of you or your friends naked in the shower to get my rocks off, I'm young, I'm dumb, I talk a lot, I would never in a million years dare to compare any of you to furries, or try to pretend any of you are anything like me, because that would be damn insulting, etc.

There.

Comments

[mercuryisme.livejournal.com]

If you are "jealous" of plurality, why don't you try making thoughtforms of your own?

I don't know why I have a problem with this idea, but I don't think it would work for me. It interests me but I think it would be like taking 1 step forward and 2 steps back.

What you're talking about sounds like RPing. <-- I'm sure that comment will piss off at least a couple people in here, lol.

I love IMing and talking one on one, so I can try to accomodate your schedule... Today I was around nearly the whole day, but my schedule changes often, and in a few weeks I'll be starting college so I have no idea how that will eat into the time I formerly devoted to being nerdy.

[effrenata.livejournal.com]

What you're talking about sounds like RPing. <-- I'm sure that comment will piss off at least a couple people in here, lol.

Thoughtforms are different than multiplicity. Thoughtforms are identities or characters that are consciously constructed by the host, whereas multiples regard the people in their systems as completely independent individuals, who may or may not have a common origin. (I'll note that most books on multiplicity, published by the medical profession or popular writers, interpret "multiple personalities" as parts of a single person. This is not the view you'll find in this community, though.)

Now, for me, my experience with thoughtforms is somewhat like RPing. I step into different identities and take on their points of view. It is not roleplaying for entertainment, however, but to experience and express different aspects of my/our whole being.

There are both "light" and "serious" forms of roleplaying, in other words. In fact, in some religious and spiritual traditions, roleplaying is used to draw on higher powers or to identify oneself with a spiritual being. In Hindu Tantra meditation, for instance, a person might recite a mantra like "I am Shakti" and imagine hirself as the goddess Shakti. Hinduism is a nondual tradition -- that is, the division between self and other is regarded as arbitrary, so one can take on other identities deliberately. Similar practices are found in Wicca, Ceremonial Magick, etc.

If you don't feel this is appropriate for you, of course, that's fine. I'm curious, though -- why would you consider it "taking 1 step forward and 2 steps back"?

[mercuryisme.livejournal.com]

Wow. That's extremely interesting. I must take a class on world religions someday- though I doubt they'd teach me as much about paganism and Wicca as I'd like to know. I'll look it up sometime soon.

I don't consider most defense mechanisms to be healthy mentally. Trying to deviate my personality into different thought forms could help me in a lot of ways that I can see, but I'd end up using it to escape. It'd be another vice eventually (I think)... and I've had a lot of vices already.

It's odd though, thinking about it... I think it would be easy to do... Completely natural. That fact makes me feel kind of uneasy for reasons I'm still trying to figure out.

[effrenata.livejournal.com]

I don't regard my thoughtforms as a "defense mechanism", but more in terms of "creative self-development and self-expression." There is, I will admit, some degree of defense involved -- for instance, I sometimes let Anomia field personal attacks because she doesn't give a damn what anyone thinks -- but that is not the primary aspect.

Right now, my thoughtforms are helping to keep me sane & stable, since we're reaching a balance in which the opposites are finally beginning to cooperate with each other. In the past, I've experienced bipolar swings as I allowed one aspect or another to gain control. I don't think having thoughtforms causes negative personality traits to manifest, however, but rather that if the problems are already there, they may be expressed though that form. There are some psychological techniques which use interactions between inner "parts" to work problems out; for example, Inner Voice Dialogue, NLP, and Psychosynthesis.

If you would like to see an interesting example of someone else who "went plural", check out the blogger "Lucinda, et. al.", on h2g2: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/U129960 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/U129960). Their essay "My Multiplicity" explains how the process got started for them: http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A625123 (http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A625123).

[mercuryisme.livejournal.com]

Well, I tend to take things that can be good and put a nasty spin on them at times...

How would something like this work in reverse. The situation doesn't work for me, can I just go back, magically?

This might be something to look into later in life, but having just come out of puberty maybe it would be better to deal with just Laura right now. *hugs self*

[effrenata.livejournal.com]

How would something like this work in reverse. The situation doesn't work for me, can I just go back, magically?

It would depend on the individual case. Some multiple/plural systems can never integrate, some can. I think I could, if I wished to, but I would regard it as a loss rather than a gain.

This might be something to look into later in life, but having just come out of puberty maybe it would be better to deal with just Laura right now. *hugs self*

That may be a wise choice, then. Get to know what you want first, before you begin building it.

[ex-senza6.livejournal.com]

... wow, that page is fascinating. Thanks for the link. *bookmarks*

C.