Gaslighting multiple style

[spookshow-girl.livejournal.com]

Ignore a random member of the system. Never ask how they are doing, or show concern for their welfare. Don't respond to their existance. In short, no matter how present they are, act like they aren't. That's how you gaslight. Happy gaslighting, and rot in hell, or other appropriate construct of eternal torture.

--Me

Comments

[changelyng14.livejournal.com]

theres another word for that....

childhood

:/

candy o dat changewhatever

[tir-nan-og.livejournal.com]

Sigh..I'm afraid we've been there and done that. Sometimes we have felt it couldn't be helped, when we all have so little time..and in our case, to THINK of a system member means TO WISH THEM TO BUMP YOU OFF THE FRONT.

[spookshow-girl.livejournal.com]

The original definition might help to understand what I'm trying to describe. The term gaslighting, or to gaslight, is a reference to a 1938 London play called Gas Light. In the play a man deliberately attempts to convince his wife that's she's insane, and subsequently drive her insane, by changing the state of the gaslights. Gaslighting has come to mean the act of deliberately trying to convince someone that they are insane, or alternately to drive them insane, by manipulation of their environment. Here (http://www.filmsite.org/gasl.html) is an interesting article on the play and movies, which describes it in more detail.

The idea behind the rant was, that by constantly wiping away the concrete effect someone in system has on the world around them, without any indication that you were doing so, could drive someone to distraction, much in the same way it would do to a single. IMO people need to make a mark on the world around them, in little ways.

One way to drastically manipulate someone's environment, is to cripple their ability to affect it. Some people, in-system, and out, have a pro-active "ignore them and they'll go away" attitude, that borders on that level of control. As the person continues to try, and fail, to feel as though they are making contact with the outside world. This may not be such an issue with systems whose inner world is robust, however, for others, this is denying someone a basic need. Utilized properly, it can cause someone to harbor doubts about their own experiences, perceptions, and senses, which is, in essense, how gaslighting works.

Sometimes this is pure lack of foresight, however, I don't always believe that's the case.

Also, the above description is not intended to be an all inclusive, or definitive list of behaviors I might catalogue as gaslighting, but more a rant on a particular activity. I'm not really sure I'm up to explaining what I mean, I hope this is a decent clarification.

As for your situation, I cannot comment on which case it is, however, it does sound like time management, rather than attepting to cause someone to doubt their senses. However, since you bring it up:

Feel free to ignore me, but I personally feel it's important to make it clear that people are acknowledged, that they do effect the world around them, and to give them an opportunity to do so. Encapsulation is for OO programs, not people. Sometime, when you don't have the time, you have to make the time. Again, neither of us know each other from a hole in the wall, nor do I know the particulars, so, you can take or leave whatever I say here.

--Me

[etana.livejournal.com]

hi, thanks...

[tir-nan-og.livejournal.com]

I do agree, and we are finally reaching a point where we are more supportive of eachother. It was a long time coming.

I remember trying to watch the movie Gas Light, and it was too upsetting..turned it off. Very rare for any of us to do that. I can't think of anything more horrible to do with complete conscious intention. Of course, I've had it done to me by lovers in the 3D, like the father of my child. Not sure he knew what he was doing, but it was hideous.

Is this something that is happpening in your system now?

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

This is apparently being recommended by some doctors as the acceptable response to multiplicity. Decide which person you think is the "real one"; then, proceed to ignore everyone else. Supposedly, by not encouraging the "delusion" of the "real person," doing this will make the others vanish and then the patient's real issues can be dealt with. (By real issues, I assume they mean the emotional turmoil caused by trying to convince others in the system they don't exist, and possibly depriving the person you do choose to work with of a support system.)

[shatterstorm.livejournal.com]

*snort* If you WANT to wake up one morning and find out someone's taken your body and dyed the hair fuschia. Or worn some treads in your credit cards, "reworked" your wardrobe, or taken you to a city a hundred miles away and left you in the middle of a festival somewhere.

[spookshow-girl.livejournal.com]

(By real issues, I assume they mean the emotional turmoil caused by trying to convince others in the system they don't exist, and possibly depriving the person you do choose to work with of a support system.)

Simultaneously funny and not, because it's true. I think I expressed my response in my post. They can go rot too. See, that behavior gets people in trouble in the real world, as opposed to academia, in which this seems apparently seems like a good idea.

What's worse, if someone flips out and deals an ass-beating, the doctor's actions will not be questions, if my understanding is correct. Noone will even stop to think that maybe he played this game with the wrong person. Violence isn't always the answer, but for some people, it is a likely response to that sort of treatment, multi or single.

--Me

[spookshow-girl.livejournal.com]

No problem.

--Me

Re: L

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

The irony is that people who advocate this sort of treatment-- especially those who consider multiplicity delusional-- don't realise that these are exactly the circumstances under which some people will act out in desperation to be acknowledged. All they see is the end effect, and they use it to further their idea of plurals as irresponsible-- it doesn't occur to them that any ordinarily responsible person, pushed too far, might resort to acting in an atypical manner.

While nobody in our system has ever been able to keep their memories private enough to leave someone in a situation with no way to find out why it happened, it can be disconcerting in its own way to *watch* someone doing things you wouldn't want, over your objections, and be unable to do anything about it.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

We adore that picture. The acting, the costumes, the cinematography, never let anyone tell you that a film has to be in color to keep you on the edge of your seat, it won seven Academy Awards, plus it is what happens too often when a person is vulnerable, for any reason, and falls into the hands of a manipulator.

Our earth father tries to gaslight us; it never works. Where Gregor does his big "revelation" to Paula that when she read him the letter she found, she had nothing in her hand, that's Dad's stock in trade.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

"These patients should be treated by the same methods Charcot used--isolation and countersuggestion. Close the dissociation services and disperse the patients to general psychiatric units. Ignore the alters. Stop talking to them, taking notes on them, and discussing them in staff conferences. Pay attention to real present problems and conflicts rather than fantasy. If these simple, familiar rules are followed, multiple personalities will soon wither away and psychotherapy can begin."

Dr. Paul McHugh (http://www.psycom.net/mchugh.html)

[shatterstorm.livejournal.com]

We doubt that they don't know the effect. It reinforces the therapist's belief that their patient is ill and needs them, and increases the patient's belief that the world will end without the help of their therapist.

But I at least am suspicious of any relationship where the "I will hurt you, then I will comfort you" dynamic is active. It typically creates a strong emotional bond very quickly. Throw in the "this is for your own good" and, whew! Sounds like part of our childhood. :P

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

I can hazard a guess at how the situation might work for us:

Session 1: Ruka sits around chattering amiably at the psychiatrist, explaining function and history of system. Psychiatrist ignores him, because, after all, he's an alter. Psychiatrist figures that we'll get tired of the act soon.
Session 2: Ruka sits around chattering amiably at the psychiatrist, on topics now having nothing to do with our life but ranging from social commentary to reciting poetry. Psychiatrist ignores him, because, after all, he's an alter, although he has to admit silently that he might have a few good points.
Session 3: Ruka sits around chattering at psychiatrist less than amiably, now bringing in essays, book reviews and excerpts from his personal journal to read, stopping to ask rhetorical and non-rhetorical questions of the psychiatrist every few minutes. Psychiatrist ignores him, but patience is starting to erode, and behavior is challenging his worldview in a way that makes him very uncomfortable.
Session 4: Ruka, having gotten bored of attempting to make conversation, decides to start ignoring psychiatrist, and brings cell phone into the office and carries on conversation with a friend, probably ksol1460. Psychiatrist ignores him, although noticeable beads of sweat and bulging veins appear on forehead.
Session 5: Ruka brings cell phone into office again, reading to friend excerpts from psychiatrist's books and case notes so they can make fun of it together, while psychiatrist tries desperately to tune him out.
Session 6: Ruka makes phone call to friend in which they bemoan the sorry state of the psychiatric establishment, including but not limited to Ruka imitating psychiatrist over the phone, and speculations about the size of psychiatrist's 'equipment' and discussion on the meaning of overcompensation. Psychiatrist finally gets up out of chair and yells "Stop it!" Ruka rubs nose, glances over at wall, and asks person on other end of phone "Did you hear something? ...No, I guess it must just be my imagination." Psychiatrist demands that Ruka listen to him and turn off the phone at once. Ruka says to friend "No, no, there's just a fly buzzing around the room. Go on."
Session 7: Ruka talks on phone while drawing silly caricature of psychiatrist in his notebook. Psychiatrist breaks down and cries.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

That is literally the best laugh we've had all week. ^5 !!

Go Ruka, we love YOU!! - Akanora

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

That icon is PERFECT!!!