My bad excuse of an Introduction
Jul. 12th, 2005 11:58 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
exiled-redeemer.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
multiplicity_archives
Erm. Hiya! I'm new to this community, It just dawned on me a couple days ago that there might be a community for us that would be able to give us a feeling of being not so alone. If my intro is sketchy, please forgive me since I'm a little nervous about it.
I became aware of my multplicity/DID about a year ago. And it didn't come to me in a nice warm package. It was more like a giant "Bam!" Because they all started telling me about themselves at once. I was so afraid I was going mad until I started to do some research, and learned that it wasn't so maddening anymore. I have an 11 year memory lapse which starts from birth to sixth grade. I have a total of somewhere around 8-12 memories for those years. Erm..right. Now to tell you a little a bit about each us.
My name is Kira (the host, or forfronter whichever term you prefer), I'm 18, trying to get my diploma before August and we're debating on whether we seriously want to join the US Army. It's been a great experience, being with them as long as I have. We have a good open line of communication between eachother for the overall. When any of them (with the exception of Joselyn who thrives on her own sense of identity) front, they respond when being called by my name, no matter how much it annoys them, and I am very grateful they stick with it. : ) When talking to the friends we do decide to talk to, they reffer to me as their mistress, which is incredibly annoy since I hate having any form of authority. I'd much rather serve than lead, I never and probably will never understand why, but I can live with that.
There are 6 active members in my system and 2 dormant. Azieal and Joselyn claim they've been around since about 7th grade, Joselyn says she's been around longer but there's no way of me knowing that for sure. She's such a joy to have in my system in all honesty, seven years old and always happy.
Azieal has saved my life on more than one occassion. She fronts most often when I hallucinate or fall into severe paranoia or depression. Most of the people who know about us like her out of the 6 most, because she's so collected and very down to earth. The only time she embarrasses me is when she fronts and starts being extremely honest. She speaks what she thinks and doesn't care what others feel, but almost always her advice is appreciated to those who listen, despite her uncanny boldness. I see her as our guardian. She's very passionate about her job to protect me, no matter how rough around the edges she seems to be. Now, is there guardians in most systems? I mean i understand that this couldn't be proved that there was one in each system, I just would like to see how many systems do. : ) I'm just curious who else has guardians. *blushyness*
May is an incredible abstract artist however apathetic she is. When we front together, she can guide my hands and block out the world so that all I think about is the paper infront of me, and I can go for hours at it. This suprises me still because I have absolutely no patience. I don't along well with her, for the fact she cares and feels for nothing, and I care so much about things and people. There is alot, I'd say 90%, that she doesn't share with me. She seems to be a dark member, because she hardly ever speaks. She and Azieal don't get along. At all. Most arguements take place between those two. And I have to admite, her monotone voice grinds my nerves when she does decide to say something.
From May sprouted Rya. Strangely, she is the only innocent selfconfident one within my system and is the only teen, aging around 14 or 15, for that matter. She claims to be a princess, her voice is always soft and childlike when she speaks to me, almost an angelic quality to it. However when she's present and active within me, I can't help to feel a sense of overwhelming confusion wash over me. When she fronts, which isn't often, she doesn't ever close her eyes and taht im thankful for, because for somereason the art in her mind is violent and very crisp to our senses, making us feel like we're there inside the images. Anything beyond that I can't vouge for, for the fact she keeps to herself alot.
Lupa, I won't speak for. I don't like talking about her because she's the most fucked up one in the system, the one none of us get along with. Bassic jift: She's all sexuality and sadism. And I hate her. : ) This brings me to another question, to members of your systems, is there ever confrination between them? Or even between yourself and them?
Moving on to my latest Member. Alex. The only (active) male in my system thus far. He just made himself known to me yesterday, I can't say alot about him because I really don't know all that much, all I know is he's very sincere and very kind, whenever he speaks to me i feel a strange sense of ease and joy. He tells me he's 34 years old, which is sort of bizarre because that makes him the oldest on so far, and that he's been trying to make himself known to me for quite sometime now. He seems to know something about the boy who won't let me know who he is. I can feel him in my mind, there seems to be a lot of anger and fear. I want to get him to trust me, but he refuses to let himself be seen or heard. Has anyone had similliar situation where a member wouldn't come foreward?
And that's the basics of me and my system. : ) I have a quick Map I made which shows the only one I didn't speak of and where she comes from. Also, one of the 'N/A's are to be replaced with Alex. If you'd like to see, Click here to see it .
Finally, I still feel silly. I'm not used to introductions and I'm terribly sorry if this one bites monkeys. *bows* I'm just glad I found this community, I learned alot from the links on the front page. Also, they are aloud to post here if they want, right? Anyways, thank you for letting me share with you, and hope you'll share with me too!
Sincerely,
~Kira
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no subject
Date: 2005-07-12 05:10 pm (UTC)My system has a guardian of sorts, though he doesn't like the title. But he is the one that will watch over the rest of us and try to keep us out of trouble. He also is honest to the point of rudeness.
As for the confrontations, that happens a lot here as well. Any time you get a group of people together there is going to be conflict, and when they live together as closely as we do it makes it worse. We have two in here that enjoy arguing with each other just for the sake of arguing.
And anyone in your system is welcome to post here. It's a place for everyone.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-12 05:32 pm (UTC)Also the fact that they can post is wonderful. Thanks again for th welcome!
no subject
Date: 2005-07-12 09:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-12 09:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-12 09:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-12 09:47 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-12 09:57 pm (UTC)I have a question...why is sexuality and sadism bad?
I mean, it might be for you, and I understand that...I'm just curious...because I don't feel that way...
Tara
Pack Collective
PS
Feel free to hit us up anytime on any of our journals, or any of the ways listed there:)
no subject
Date: 2005-07-12 10:20 pm (UTC)She is harsh, demanding and is easilly tempered. When she's angry she's dangerous and isn't sated until she sees blood, even if its ours. >< And trust me, Sado/Masochism is awesome ^_~ So long I or she isn't doing the Sadist roles.
I'm uber sorry. *bows* If it came out sounding like I was predjudice against Sadists. Thank you, and like ways, if you want to add me or talk on anything such as AIM or MSN just ask or go ahead and IM. That goes for anyone. Thanks for the welcome hun! :)
no subject
Date: 2005-07-13 03:12 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-13 03:10 am (UTC)we've got a couple here who're guardian types. they prevent situations from becoming dangerous, or handle ones that already have.
arguments and such within our group aren't unheard of - some of us get along fine and some don't. like any group of people.
we have some people who wouldn't talk - give them time and space, sometimes they'll decide to speak.
no subject
Date: 2005-07-13 03:39 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2005-07-13 02:41 pm (UTC)if something scares them, protect them/stop it, don't try to ignore it or decide it is silly. if they're interested in something, explore it with them. support builds trust. suppression does not. they grow and talk more when they feel safe. -shannon
no subject
Date: 2005-07-13 09:22 pm (UTC)Anyways, thank you again for the advice.
~Kira
-Sistema di Raziel
no subject
Date: 2005-07-13 05:51 am (UTC)i love your icons
Has anyone had similliar situation where a member wouldn't come foreward?
won't, can't, n don't. more that dont here then that do.
Now, is there guardians in most systems?
probabaly. we have quite a few.
we're debating on whether we seriously want to join the US Army.
you realize you might end up on the ground in iran?
is there ever confrination between them? Or even between yourself and them?
confrontation? yes. we've had headwar too :( not very fun.
-Tia
no subject
Date: 2005-07-13 11:37 am (UTC)Thanks again for the response, if you ever want to talk or anything, IM/MsNmessage/email/lj/Y!IM me or something. :) I have quite a few ways that you can get intouch and I'm always willing to listen. ^^ ttyl.
-Kira
We're gonna keep this all in one comment... heh...
Date: 2005-07-13 07:13 am (UTC)Love,
Kira
Hi! (:
I kinda think that we have a few people that fit the description of "guardian". *Thinks*
We have a lot of fighting... both serious and play... inside. Heh... I try really hard to get along with everyone though. But some people don't like me too much. ): But thusfar, we've worked out a lot of things and made compromises and peoples are happy. ^^;; (It's because of my wonderful relationship and mediator skills! XD )
Anyways... welcome! :) You can IM us if you want or we might IM you sometime. Virtualwolf on AIM.
- Kat
I LOVE YOU! WILL YOU ADD US AND BE MY FRIEND? ^________^
Riri
Re: We're gonna keep this all in one comment... heh...
Date: 2005-07-13 11:26 am (UTC)~Joselyn~
Awesome. I'm not too patient, and most of them get along with me. :) Just Lupa causes serious problems. Most of the time my hallucinations spin out of control when she is wanting to front. Last night was prime example of that. -_- Anywho ^^ Thanks the for the comment, and talk us up anytime, hehe!
-Kira
Re: We're gonna keep this all in one comment... heh...
Date: 2005-07-13 11:46 am (UTC)Re: We're gonna keep this all in one comment... heh...
Date: 2005-07-13 11:46 am (UTC)