something i've been considering...

[ex-mushroom784.livejournal.com]

back in late november, i had a miscarriage (this SO is not a dig for symapthy, so anyone who wants to start that kind of arguement, don't... sorry if i seem defensive, but it's happened :/)

one of my inners claimed to know that the baby was there, before i lost it, and teased me about it, through one of my friends relaying stuff back. i think she (inner, not my friend... all my friends seem to be male, for some reason >_o) was amused when i lost it. i don't know why it bothers me so much that she claimed to be able to be around it... particularly because i DID lose it. inners couldn't affect a baby like that, right?

i didn't mind all so much having that happen to me a first time, but if she's feeling cruel and does it again... :/ i dunno. this is weighing on my mind a lot lately, as a lot of friends keep poking at me, thinking i'm pregnant again (blood test said no, but mistakes happen... argh)

so i guess... to anyone who is/has been pregnant, have any of your inners been able to notice it there, even before you did? or... anything like that? sorry if i'm not making sense, i'm typing as fast as i can, before i forget what i wanted to ask.

thanks for anything anyone can tell me. :)

Comments

[shandra.livejournal.com]

Some people in our system do seem to be that in tune with our body that they have been earlier than First Response. So yep, some people have noticed it.

It would bother me too if I were grieving and someone were teasing me.

We had several miscarriages before we carried to term. In between all the miscarriages and the (surprise) full term pregnancy there were some big changes in the people who were fairly anti-child (and believed that we were infertile). In a way those people went from anti-life to pro-life (not in the abortion sense, in the living each day well sense). I can't say they were causing miscarriages because a) I have no idea and b) I'm not sure I would believe them anyway, but it was interesting how the timing worked.

Then we didn't have trouble getting pregnant again (in fact, still have no idea how that happened -exactly-) and are at 31 weeks.

This is gratuitous advice that you do not need to read or take seriously, but I think it is really, really important that most if not all people possible in a system be okay with having a kid before having one. So I suppose I would wonder why she's so opposed and have you two talked about this major life decision?

[elfgoyle.livejournal.com]

We are curently 23 weeks pregnant and it was a total shock to us to find out. We have been told for years (about 9) that we wouldn't be able to concieve and if we did wouldn't be able to cary to term. Ha 23 weeks and no real problems.
The "first born" Chloey knew at 2 weeks but didn't say anything cus she was convinced she would lose it. She is the one that wanted a child the most the rest of us realy didn't. Jaeci wanted a child as well not as bad but still enough that she was happy. I was very very very unimpressed. The body may be 27 but I am NOT and the concept of losing my freedom didn't apeal to me. At first we had all sorts of problems. Some one would starve someone would exercise and lift all the heavy things they could find so we would lose it. The kids ate things they new the body couldn't tolerate. It was chaos. Frankly I am surprised we didn't lose it but well Chloey is stuborn.

Now we all are co-operating and after working it out everyone is better with it. The kids were scared that they would die when the baby came, etc.

[shatterstorm.livejournal.com]

Every system is different. Some of us knew that we were pregnant within less than a week. A couple of us are very able to manipulate the body's systems. We're able to induce colds and vomiting, stop allergic reactions, prevent bruises, stop cuts from bleeding, etc...

Our body has been pregnant and miscarried twice. The first time we all agree that it was spontaneous - something wasn't right from the beginning and the not-a-baby never had a chance. The second time several of us understood that as a group we weren't capable of being a good parent then and messed with our internal chemistry to end the pregnancy. We were very concerned for our Front - she didn't know we were around or doing this, and she got the results of the pregnancy test right after the miscarriage.

*nod to shandra* we agree on discussing pregnancy and parenting with your inside people - this is a decision that will affect most/all of your system.

[westly.livejournal.com]

Oooh, I get that with the induceing vomiting.

My boy, when he's mad at me, or ... trying to be 'helpful' in my quest to lose weight will make me sick to my stomach when I'm around food, or if I ate something he thinks I shouldn't have had, he'll make me throw up...

...he can't tolerate food.

But we had a long conversation and both agreed that bulemia is a bad way to lose weight...

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

Honestly, one of the things I've learned from our and friends' innings with psychic fakers is that people will often claim credit for things happening, even giving extremely detailed stories of how they allegedly did it, to manipulate and/or intimidate you. Or, they may be using coincidences to support their own desire to believe in their power-- it may be important for them to convince themselves that they really had a hand in it.

I think it's certainly possible for someone's emotional state to affect their pregnancy, or for someone to know they're pregnant from the beginning, but it's not multiple-specific. That is, certain people in systems may be more aware of the body's physical state than others, just as some single people are more aware of same than others, but it doesn't have to do with any allegedly greater capacity of multiples or persons in multiple systems to voluntarily manipulate body functioning. I've heard from several thoroughgoing singlet women who knew they were pregnant very early on, and many stories about women who miscarried after an unusually stressful or abusive situation.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

"Back in late november, i had a miscarriage (this SO is not a dig for symapthy, so anyone who wants to start that kind of arguement, don't... sorry if i seem defensive, but it's happened :/)"

You need not worry about that here. People on this community are capable of reading about other people's lives and occasional misfortunes without misconstruing it as a whine for attention. And I'm sorry for your loss. It probably has little to do with your multiplicity and more with your physiology and chemistry. Have your ob-gyn check you out for predisposition to pre-eclampsia, particularly if this runs in your family.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

First, mushroom, I'm so sorry for your loss. Far too many people don't realize that there isn't that much difference between losing a child before birth and losing one after birth - I know you're not digging for sympathy, but you've got mine nonetheless. *gentle hugs*.

All four times I got pregnant, I knew immediately that I'd conceived. I don't know whether or not Crist-Erui knew; in those days he didn't speak English at all. Kír says he did not know, but took my word for it.

I miscarried the first two. The third, I had an abortion at six weeks because like shatterstorm says, I could feel that there was 'nobody there', and I couldn't face another miscarriage. The fourth was my daughter, who's now almost 16 - it was a high-risk pregnancy, a difficult labor and deliver, but she was (and is) fine, and after that I got my tubes tied.

There wasn't any way to ask Crist-Erui if he wanted a child, and he enjoyed pregnancy even less than I did - I'm not sure he even realized it was pregnancy, but he was definitely alarmed and dismayed. I don't think he was in any way responsible for it not going well, though. He certainly adored the lovely baby who was the result, and enthusiastically helped care for her.

Kír says he took it as a matter of course that, being married, I woulld have children. At that time he didn't 'front' or regard this body as *his* in any way, and even now, he doesn't involve himself in dealing with its 'female' attributes, so he didn't consider it to be his business. He was as supportive as he could be under the circumstances, though, and was truly sorry for my inability to have more than one child.

As ksol1460 says, it's far more likely to be your physiology than your multiplicity that caused the miscarriage. Certainly, get checked out by your doctor, but also be aware that most doctors don't pay much attention to factors such as diet, supplements, sleep patterns, exercise, emotional stress, environmental toxins... you're on your own with those. I'd suggest taking a year to get yourself as healthy as possible in all ways before you try again to have a child.

Hey, and take heart - lots of women have a miscarriage, or more than one, and then go on to have perfectly healthy children.

[shatterstorm.livejournal.com]

One of our friends has a pair of adorable twin 4 year olds we were playing with the other day. She'd miscarried about 9 months before they were conceived. She grieved, got checked over by her doctor to make sure things were okay, then took some time to focus on her health (vitamins, exercise, lower stress, etc) and tried again.

It's something that isn't talked about much, but is a lot more common than most people realize.