not someone else?

[idianshire.livejournal.com]

I'm beginning to wonder if I am a bit strange.. ok stranger than what I thought I was. I have noticed in places I talk with other multiples not just here, that they often say things about how they feel different all the time, or that they never know who they are going to be. It could just be a language thing,but I also wonder if I am a little strange. For us, no one feels like someone else, there is always a strong sense of self, although at times we can also know that someone has control over one part of the body without actually taking executive control, as in therapy yesterday when our therapist called my grandmother a monster, I or at least the body was smiling but I knew the smile was coming from someone else. I have never felt I have become someone else, but rather for me it is like stepping aside to let someone else past, I can if I chose observe the other person's actions, but I still retain my sense of being me, separate from the other person. The confusion of who we are tends for us to be from outsiders, those that know us, and wonder who is around when we are switching a lot, usually that just results in comments about needing flashing neon signs so they can keep up.

Now I also want to make it clear that I am not saying anyone's choice of how they talk about their multiplicity, or how it is for them is wrong, or anything. It just confuses me a little because I hear similar things for a lot of people who identify as multiple and wonder if somehow we are the strange ones.

Isabella

Comments

[labclock.livejournal.com]

Thanks for posting, I didn't realise other people did this sort of thing - there's often somebody else comes out and smiles while I'm talking to my therapist, or sometimes others, and it is like that - I let her past sometimes, often I struggle with her. But I can't say I'm entirely sure of the identity of anybody.

[idianshire.livejournal.com]

With us there isn't anyone that can control the comings and goings of others. The person that smiled didn't really want to talk to Sean, just found what he said very amusing. With us there can be a lot of people around at one time, cofronting, well actually not so much co fronting, I really wish I could find some terminology that I felt worked with us.. anyway.. when that is going around there can be a sharing of the body, not the whole body, just parts of it. It used to be really disorganised but we all got together to make sure that we all weren't tryign to do too many things at once.