Problem

[aliasalixx.livejournal.com]

I just had a (previously unknown) inner front while I'm working. The fact that she explained some things is great, but I really don't need someone else in charge while I'm working. At home is great, if they want to come out then it's fine. Any suggestions on how to keep them from doing this when it's important that I stay in charge?

Comments

[kangetsuhime.livejournal.com]

Ask them not to...?

[aliasalixx.livejournal.com]

I've asked them not to. Problem is, this is someone I didn't even know was there until she posted something. *sigh*

[kangetsuhime.livejournal.com]

But now you know. They'll either respect your wishes, or they won't. If they don't and it causes *problems* (as in, not just 'I don't really feel okay with this', but more them bollocksing up your work, risking your job or whatever) then you may need to try and literally kick them into touch. Over time we've developed ways to wall each other out when we need to focus, but we've never actually struggled for control so techniques are not something we can really help you with. Seems to be very individual anyway.

[aliasalixx.livejournal.com]

I hope so. Rana seems to be pretty understanding, and Psycho has only appeared when I'm in extreme stress. The real concern I have is Ali, since she's autistic. But luckily she's never fronted in a situation where it could be a major problem.

I'll just have to figure it out I guess! Thanks!

[shandra.livejournal.com]

I imagine it depends on the workplace, because obviously some jobs are more specialized or stressful than others, but my suggestion would be to ask her check with you before doing something at work, rather than making it a power struggle over "totally not in charge" or "totally in charge."

You could think of it like mentoring someone to be able to do your job responsibly and appropriately, just in case - always a good thing for a multiple system, IMHO.

We actually work quite a bit as a team at work, although we do ask the kids to be respectful of adult space (except for things like birthday parties and feeding the fish and cleaning the tank). We did that even before we were out as multiple and it worked extremely well for us, because we all have different talents and takes on things.

Because we work as a team too we have a pretty efficient and fast turn around time, and then we all gain by having a bit of breathing/thinking/creative time during the workday.

So - doesn't really answer your question I know, but without knowing what the work is and stuff my response is kind of well, why not?

[aliasalixx.livejournal.com]

I work in radio, on the technical side, which basically means my job is 10 minutes of boredom followed by 5 of panic. Plus I have to keep an ear out for anything that shouldn't be aired, and I NEED to be in charge here for at least that time.

Luckily, this time it wasn't during a crisis point.

[shandra.livejournal.com]

That does sound stressful. Mine's in web editorial, so we have a longer lead time. Is there a reason she can't share the job with you once you train her?

[aliasalixx.livejournal.com]

Rana would probably do fine. As I said above, my main concern with it is Ali fronting cause there's no way she can handle it.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

I'm autistic too, but I hear you about the part that is not always the same. She might hear it, but not recognize what's not to be aired. Sounds like the station doesn't have a delay system?

A big problem in training new people is getting them sufficient practice time. At the stations I worked at in the earth world, the announcers were the engineers, so we had to know how to do both. I put my operator's knowledge into the pool, but I also had people (especially younger people) be co-present or co-run with me until they got the hang of it.

(I had to watch out I didn't get too far into the "my, that's pretty" glowing green lights on the console and lose track, too.)

It sounds like Ali is interested enough in your work to want to take the front during that time. Maybe she could be at least co-present with you and watch?

[aliasalixx.livejournal.com]

There's a delay system, but someone has to hear it to dump it. The main problem with Ali is that at her best she's very unresponsive, I can get yes and no from her. At her worst she's almost catatonic.

Still, I'll talk to Alixx and see if she can at least watch. I'll try to learn too, just in case. :)

Rana

[zenboiuke.livejournal.com]

There have been some great suggestions here... in the case of someone who is able to communicate with the rest of the system, a mutual respect clause shouldn't be difficult to set up (hopefully!) and in Ali's case, perhaps a special space could be set up in house, with her needs in mind, but separate enough to contain her & prevent her from wandering about in situations that might cause her or others harm.

Good luck!

~Kier

[aliasalixx.livejournal.com]

We've been lucky so far. Ali has only fronted a few times in non-vital situations. It's possible that she knew that it would be safe for her to come out then. But Alixx is really worried about her. I keep trying to tell her she'll be fine. :)

Rana