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prettyrazor.livejournal.comHi there everyone. I'm KiKi, a.k.a. The Laughing Kikala. (I was given that nickname because I crack a lot of jokes, and I tend to laugh a lot. If you don't laugh, you'll cry, right? So I try to just let things roll off of me most of the time, unless it's really bad. Justin and I are a lot alike in that way, or we were, until he lost it.)
For those who don't know me (which is probably most of you. I haven't posted here before, but I post to a couple of the DID e-mail groups we're on, and have posted to our livejournals before), I'm 19, a sister (yeah, my system's white. So what? I'm not. Nothing against them, of course, I'm way cool and so not a racist... racism is icky... but ya gotta recognize, ya know?), a lesbian since before my system decided that it was one (and damn proud of it!), really, really New York at times (I have The Attitude, Baby!), and pretty much just a wise-ass.
I'm part of the alters in my system known as The Coven. We're just a bunch of strongly Pagan alters created because Taylor couldn't deal with our parents having marital problems (which have since been resolved) and needed a distraction. (Anyone who knows my system well knows that Taylor creates alters with complicated personal histories, and almost always brings them in with friends and/or family. She's very creative.) The Coven's led by Beth, who's this really strong Vegan who flips out when you eat meat. In this way, and only in this way, the two of us clash because, sorry, but I happen to like meat and am content to eat burgers fairly often. And I refuse to eat Spaghetti with soyballs. Ewww. No offence. I'm cool with people doing what they want, but soy just ain't for me. I still love you, Beth. :)
Anyway, I'm a psycho, and if I get along with most people because I'm pretty easy-going. I love music, and singing. I'm into every style, from rap to hip-hop to ska to rock to jazz to the occasional pop song. Oh, and I'm loving the showtunes, too. Broadway rules! :)
Okay, enough about me... Here's the scoop with Justin... He cut. :'( Which is soooo not like him. He almost did it again today. See, our girlfriend read how upset he was and realized how badly he had snapped and decided to use Claudia's in-system brother to bring her back. He did, but she's still not quite okay. She was with Justin last night, and she barely talked to him, but to her credit, her body was exhausted. This morning, they had a little argument because she asked him to close his eyes and refused to tell him why. His reaction, when she snapped at him, was "grab a blade." (Again, that is seriously not like Justin at all.) He didn't cut, because she was still in the room, but he wanted to. He fought the urge this time. I hope he can keep that up until the urges stop happening. (If they do... I really hope they do.) Claudia's not allowed on the surface of her body if her body is alone because she's probably still a danger to herself, but she's existing, and that's something... Justin's just afraid that, even though he has her back, he's lost her for good. (You know what I mean? Like she's as broken as he thinks he is.) If Claudia doesn't stay here and get emotionally fixed, I'm really scared we won't be able to fix Justin... And that would suck, because he's a really awesome guy. He's The Littles' favorite person, because he always makes them laugh, especially when he reads Harry Potter to them. He's too important to our system for us to lose him, and it's really scaring everyone to see him this unhappy, because he's always been so upbeat.
Anyway, we'll keep you updated on this drama. By the way, sorry Justin missed that key word, "If" in his trigger warning. He was trying to say that his post might upset people, and if they're prone to self-injury, they shouldn't read it because it could trigger them. And, wow, he didn't expect to start a debate about cutting, LOL. It's made for some interesting reading, though. You all bring up really good points.
Okay, I'm gonna go now. This post is really freaking long! Sorry about that!
Safe Hugs & Kisses,
The Laughing Kikala, a.k.a. KiKi
For those who don't know me (which is probably most of you. I haven't posted here before, but I post to a couple of the DID e-mail groups we're on, and have posted to our livejournals before), I'm 19, a sister (yeah, my system's white. So what? I'm not. Nothing against them, of course, I'm way cool and so not a racist... racism is icky... but ya gotta recognize, ya know?), a lesbian since before my system decided that it was one (and damn proud of it!), really, really New York at times (I have The Attitude, Baby!), and pretty much just a wise-ass.
I'm part of the alters in my system known as The Coven. We're just a bunch of strongly Pagan alters created because Taylor couldn't deal with our parents having marital problems (which have since been resolved) and needed a distraction. (Anyone who knows my system well knows that Taylor creates alters with complicated personal histories, and almost always brings them in with friends and/or family. She's very creative.) The Coven's led by Beth, who's this really strong Vegan who flips out when you eat meat. In this way, and only in this way, the two of us clash because, sorry, but I happen to like meat and am content to eat burgers fairly often. And I refuse to eat Spaghetti with soyballs. Ewww. No offence. I'm cool with people doing what they want, but soy just ain't for me. I still love you, Beth. :)
Anyway, I'm a psycho, and if I get along with most people because I'm pretty easy-going. I love music, and singing. I'm into every style, from rap to hip-hop to ska to rock to jazz to the occasional pop song. Oh, and I'm loving the showtunes, too. Broadway rules! :)
Okay, enough about me... Here's the scoop with Justin... He cut. :'( Which is soooo not like him. He almost did it again today. See, our girlfriend read how upset he was and realized how badly he had snapped and decided to use Claudia's in-system brother to bring her back. He did, but she's still not quite okay. She was with Justin last night, and she barely talked to him, but to her credit, her body was exhausted. This morning, they had a little argument because she asked him to close his eyes and refused to tell him why. His reaction, when she snapped at him, was "grab a blade." (Again, that is seriously not like Justin at all.) He didn't cut, because she was still in the room, but he wanted to. He fought the urge this time. I hope he can keep that up until the urges stop happening. (If they do... I really hope they do.) Claudia's not allowed on the surface of her body if her body is alone because she's probably still a danger to herself, but she's existing, and that's something... Justin's just afraid that, even though he has her back, he's lost her for good. (You know what I mean? Like she's as broken as he thinks he is.) If Claudia doesn't stay here and get emotionally fixed, I'm really scared we won't be able to fix Justin... And that would suck, because he's a really awesome guy. He's The Littles' favorite person, because he always makes them laugh, especially when he reads Harry Potter to them. He's too important to our system for us to lose him, and it's really scaring everyone to see him this unhappy, because he's always been so upbeat.
Anyway, we'll keep you updated on this drama. By the way, sorry Justin missed that key word, "If" in his trigger warning. He was trying to say that his post might upset people, and if they're prone to self-injury, they shouldn't read it because it could trigger them. And, wow, he didn't expect to start a debate about cutting, LOL. It's made for some interesting reading, though. You all bring up really good points.
Okay, I'm gonna go now. This post is really freaking long! Sorry about that!
Safe Hugs & Kisses,
The Laughing Kikala, a.k.a. KiKi
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