stupid DID still

[lis463.livejournal.com]

I thought I was doing a lot better than I am...since my mom died in december, I haven't experienced the kind of blackouts that come with dissociating. I've been getting a full range of emotions. Apparently, I'm not all better yet, though.

Just found out tonight that 22 days ago I called for a free anemia kit (I'm at risk being diabetic and hypertensive). That's what the operator told me when I tried to call for a free anemia kit today. I have no recall of doing it.

At least I didn't go buy something and find out the money is gone later!

Still, I'm hoping this is just a result of being run down, and school being ever oppressive/stressful and the emotional overload of grieving my mom.

Not happy tho.

Comments

[shadowechoes.livejournal.com]

Erf, I hate loosing time like that x.x It very well could be from the stress and everything going on in your life right now. I know that we have a higher level of dissociation and switching during really emotional times. I'm sorry about your mom - I hope you can hang in there and things will get better soon.

[lis463.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm hoping it is the stress...its been a hell of a year! Had another horrible night Sunday night. Couldn't stop the brain until 5 a.m. and that took a sleeping med, and an extra anti-anxiety med.

See the T on Thursday...obviously still have a lot of turmoil over family stuff/mom's death/etc.

Gonna talk with two different religious ppl this week too. Both have offered to help however they can. Can't help but think that some of this really is a result of needing a stronger spiritual bond...not brainwashing cult, either.