(no subject)

[kr.livejournal.com]

Do you ever find the people upstairs disagreeing with each other? This weekend was very emotional, and I find myself very angry with one of my friends, but the other people don't seem to care so much... how can they not care? It's so insensitive of them... argh. I wish I were the one giving the orders around here.

Comments

[neitherday.livejournal.com]

We have disagreements all the time. I think it's just part of living together.

[ladydancerhouse.livejournal.com]

Well, I find that whenever things are really emotional, everybody has their own opinion.

Some people aren't going to care, and some people might not consider one person's friend theirs. I mean, we do have some people who are our collective friends, but sometimes it seems so rare that we can find people that everybody can agree on.

It's like just being thrown together in a house with a bunch of people by random, or so I sometimes think.

Just a thought.

Terre

[36.livejournal.com]

"Do you ever find the people upstairs disagreeing with each other?"

Well I'm in a multiple system so I'm one of those 'upstairs people' :)

Of course we disagree with each other, if we all agreed I doubt we'd even know we're mulitple. I suppose there's different types of multiplicity and maybe you knew you were multiple because you could hear other people in the system talking from a different voice or position to yours. For us switching is sort of like passing around the sense of 'me' like a baton in a relay race. If someone has front they think that everything that happens, everything they remember and everything they think is 'me', when actually they'll all group efforts.

The way we became selves aware was by paying attention to the disagreements. Some of us thought we're one gender, some another, some liked specific names, some wanted to be vegan, some didn't, some didn't care... we'd buy clothes that were a bit different and really like them and then at some later point get really freaked. We'd constantly start projects and then stop them because it didn't interest 'us'.

When we were first working ourselves out the differences were all we had (whereas now we recognise each other by how we 'feel' and from the direction our thoughts come from (although even they are differencese)).

Any group of people sharing a body or a room or a computer or a car are going to disagree at least a little about some aspect of its working.

[36.livejournal.com]

Hiya,

When it comes to friends I think some people are a lot more forgiving, to save the friendship. I know some people in our system would take thing hella personal where I'd be a lot more laid back beause I like the person.

Oh and are these their friends too or just your friends? If I wasn't friends with someone maybe it wouldn't matter to me so much if they did something insensitive.

Did you ask them why they're not caring so much? It sort of sounds like you feel like they're not supporting you in it. Do you need them to be as upset with your friends as you are or would it just be OK if they recognised and respected that you were hurt?

I can't know what's going on and how everyone in your system is feeling (I can't even know how everyone in /my/ system is feeling) but I can say that in our system we expect people to disagree with each other but we also get along best when we respect that other people have issues and feelings that we don't feel.

Like about four of us are really committed vegans and the rest of us are vegetarian (with one of two omnivores) so even if /i/ don't have the strong belief in veganism I'm going to think twice before I have a cheese sandwich just bcause I know it would really hurt, disappoint or upset people in the system.

So maybe if you feel really hurt by a friend then other people in the system could respect your feelings and stay away from that person for a bit until you're ready to work things out. (But if someone else in the system really likes that person and will be really hurt if you don't see them then maybe some comprimise needs to be found to respect both sides).

So yeah, living multiple is comprimising and respecting the other people who share your space. Which can suck if it feels like some of the others are unreasonable or don't respect you, but in the long term you /are/ stuck with these people and it's better to get along with them than fight.

Hope this helps, just ignore the bits that don't apply to you,


Alex (mostly).

[arhuaine.livejournal.com]

We have disagreements like that all the time. Some people in the system are more "disagreeable" than others (*shoots a glance at Ash, and Cas*). Most of the time it's about silly, trivial things, like what to wear today, or whether to have a healthy salad or a big mac for lunch. And it's different opinions too. One of our group is a Christian and she often feels uncomfortable that the rest of us are Pagan, and she thinks we should go to church more often.

I don't think it's anything to do with "not caring". Like any group of people living together there are always going to be disagreements.

When we have important decisions to make that affect everyone in the system we have a sort of "group meeting" and if we can't agree we try to find a compromise that suits everyone. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't. :/

[nightfae.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've had about seven arguing before. I wrote the entire incident down in my journal once.. but then someone in here likes to delete journal entries.