(no subject)

[shadowsage05.livejournal.com]

Greetings.

Several months ago (July, I believe) this account joined and briefly posted in this community. It was not I who posted but the 'host', who requests to be reffered to online only as Sage, a request which I have agreed to oblige. She called me Dark Twin at the time, was afraid of me. Didn't want to think of herself as a multiple. Wanted to be normal or whatnot. Things have...evlolved a bit since then, if that is the word to use. She has...accepted me in a way. The two of us cooperate more, though there are still issues to be worked out. I am called by both of us now Kasilia or Aracelli (both names equally apply). She controls the body still most of the time and is still uncomfortalble with me doing so. She is still vaguely afraid of me. I try to resist certain impulses for her sake, efforts which I don't feel she fully appreciates. There is a third, a rather petulant child that avoids me (and thus her when I make my presence known on that level). There is also another, one called Augustine. She is one of the reasons for this post.

There are certain...levels. I do not know how to better describe them. There are more, not so much full members or personas perhaps but...possible ones/past ones/future ones, something of that sort on a level or levels she does not know and perhaps can't know. It is harder for me too to be aware of them since I have...surfaced? Augustine doesn't seem to be on any level and yet she comes and goes. She communicates not to any of us at all. She can take control of the body at will without our permission in a way even I cannot. Sage is often unaware of what goes on at these times. Most of the time Augustine seems to do 'good' things, so she is not worried, but I sense things from this one sometimes that disturbes me. Her ability to do what she wants with the body, to go and come as she pleases, disturbes me even more. Any suggestions or knowledge regarding this would be appreciated.

On another body. I have come to believe that we/the body may have clinical depression. Intense unhappiness for no good reason, inability to sleep, just...depression. I have been trying to convince Sage to speak to her parants (I consider them her family, not mine) and she will not. I am worried. This is not good and I can't do anything if she does not allow it.

I apologize for the length of this post as well as for the akward phrasing. I am not used to communicating in words.

-Kasilia/Aracelli

Comments

[chainsaw-hime.livejournal.com]

[Being a newcomer to the community, we have decided to note that whenever posting with this icon, it is Tarnish speaking. Thanks. - Logic]

Gamma felt alot of the same fears about me when she had control. She viewed me as a sort of a "dark side" and did her best to prevent me from being in the driver's seat. I ended up really resenting it, and after a year or so of being locked up like that, I kinda did become what she had feared. I was one of the catalysts that resulted in shatterring Gamma earlier this year.

Delta was much kinder to me than Gamma was. We've been cooperating to run this body, and I've been trying to teach her the things in our shared history that she has trouble remembering.

And don't worry about confusing words. Sometimes when I post about things in our shared history, or about the people that existed differently in our two timelines, things get strange.

I'm just lucky that somewhere along the line, Alpha learned how to think 4th dimensionally, so at least we can understand it. If we can just figure out the grammar rules for the alternate tenses, we'd... well, I don't know what we'd do.

[saturniakitty.livejournal.com]

Another Gaia person! *waves* I've become horribly, horribly addicted to it -_-;;;

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

Didn't want to think of herself as a multiple. Wanted to be normal or whatnot.

Oh yeah... the old "But I can't have THAT! That means I have MPD and I don't want to be SICK!" and "What if this other person is evil?" business. We went through that ourselves at the beginning. The thing that helped us most was communication with some systems who were very comfortable with their own plurality, had a lot of common sense, and could reassure us that an argument with someone didn't necessarily mean they were a rogue 'dark one' who was going to come out and kill your cat. We discovered in time that we were just people, with the same capacity to do good or evil as anyone else.

She controls the body still most of the time and is still uncomfortalble with me doing so. She is still vaguely afraid of me. I try to resist certain impulses for her sake, efforts which I don't feel she fully appreciates.

Is she scared of you because she feels you're somehow bad or evil, or just because she doesn't know you and has never had to share body time with another person and is scared of what you might do if you were in control? Some of us had to go through that in the beginning, with the person who had previously spent the last few years controlling the body; she was a bit of a control freak and had the idea that others in here might 'ruin her life' if she let them have too much independence. (This does, of course, beg the question of whether it -was- originally her life to be ruined; as it turned out, it wasn't exactly, but it wasn't ruined in any case.)

Augustine doesn't seem to be on any level and yet she comes and goes. She communicates not to any of us at all. She can take control of the body at will without our permission in a way even I cannot. Sage is often unaware of what goes on at these times. Most of the time Augustine seems to do 'good' things, so she is not worried, but I sense things from this one sometimes that disturbes me. Her ability to do what she wants with the body, to go and come as she pleases, disturbes me even more. Any suggestions or knowledge regarding this would be appreciated.

Mainly, you need to communicate with her. Perhaps she isn't aware that others in the system are concerned about her and wish her to speak to them. We know plenty of people, plural and singlet, who have a kind of 'free spirit' attitude, tending not to make themselves accountable to anyone, doing mostly good but sometimes getting into trouble because they pursue their own goals without consulting others.

On another body. I have come to believe that we/the body may have clinical depression. Intense unhappiness for no good reason, inability to sleep, just...depression. I have been trying to convince Sage to speak to her parants (I consider them her family, not mine) and she will not. I am worried. This is not good and I can't do anything if she does not allow it.

Well, there are some small things you can do. Some of us get depressed in the winter because we seem to be sensitive to sunlight-- with too little of it, our biochemistry goes out of whack. There's something you can buy called a full-spectrum lightbulb which simulates the effects of sunlight. Try taking St. John's Wort, which you can get at just about any drugstore. See if the depression was preceeded by any specific life events which might have caused it.

If you want to see a therapist, I don't want to tell anyone they shouldn't, but the general approach of many therapists these days is simply to give medication (which we're not against as an individual choice within reason-- just make sure you research the drug they're giving you, and start out on a SMALL dose so you can see what the side effects are), and don't tell them you're multiple unless you know the therapist has worked with multiples before-- self-disclosing multiples these days, especially young people, are now being diagnosed as psychotic by their therapists.

[duathir.livejournal.com]

"Augustine doesn't seem to be on any level and yet she comes and goes. She communicates not to any of us at all. She can take control of the body at will without our permission in a way even I cannot. Sage is often unaware of what goes on at these times. Most of the time Augustine seems to do 'good' things, so she is not worried, but I sense things from this one sometimes that disturbes me."

This sounds somewhat like my brother, who is able to take physical form whenever he wishes, for as long or short a time as he wishes, and who did not speak at all until age 43. He still speaks only a word or two every few days. Being of gentle nature, most of what he does is 'good', but he can be very stubborn, and in youth was frequently reckless to the point of endangering himself - possibly because he did not percieve or understand the danger.

Since it is impossible to force him to do anything, and he seems to pay no heed to rational argument, we rely upon persuasion. He will often do as we ask just because we ask it, or will accept an alternative suggestion. We also arrange our life so as to accommodate his needs as much as possible, including to limit the chance of his getting himself into trouble.