(no subject)

[riagoose.livejournal.com]

It has been quite some time now since I've been able to gather my thoughts about things. Running around in panic lately, I'm trying to scramble to get things done. When I take a minute to watch TV I feel the minutes slipping by and I become frazzled with everything I must accomplish in life. Sometimes I'm so consumed in this world's chaos I forget about the others...and they exist silently in the other world waiting for their chance to front here.

That is why I like it when Ria takes over. She is so calm and sensitive and I love to watch her paint and play piano and dabble in the things I long to do and be if only I weren't always so intense and business like. She calms me like no one else ever can and she knows how to purge us of our stress and strain without even realizing her effect on us all. 'He' controls her so much though...in his almighty form he bullies her more than the rest of us because he knows she is so vulnerable. He convinced her that life was no longer worth living and she began to cut and cut in tearful sorrow until the blood dripped down our arm...

Little Sarah is so afraid and lost yet. I find her inconsolable in her waking nightmare when she chooses to front...clutching her worn 'Rainbow' bunny, rocking and sobbing. Will nothing save her from this endless torment?--she will allow none of us to break through to her alone with wide aged eyes ever watching and huddled. Ria paints her sometimes in that huddled form. A desperate child trapped in an adult body--misunderstood in this world.

--This is Ria now and I am not weak to the wills of 'him'. I just know that all he says is true and pure and his will is to help not harm. Seek the wisdom of his knowledge and find that we are all in dire need of change and help.

Comments

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

This is Ria now and I am not weak to the wills of 'him'. I just know that all he says is true and pure and his will is to help not harm.

Don't kid yourself. Someone who convinces someone else in the system to cut is not full of truth and purity and desire to help; he's just being a bully. You may want to ask yourself why this person has so much hold over all of you. What would he do if you decided you didn't want to follow his advice?

[riagoose.livejournal.com]

I try to make the others realize this to be true. I mean cutting is so frightening and dangerous and messy. I can't seem to get through--esp. to Ria...

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Seek the wisdom of his knowledge and find that we are all in dire need of change and help.

That's what they all say. All those who are out to take advantage of you in body, mind or spirit. The secret is that they take things that are true in some sense, and weave them into lies that they use to control you. They will always tell you that it is for your own good.

It's not that you don't need help; perhaps you do. But do you need his help, according to his terms and proscriptions? And convincing people in your House that life isn't worth living -- is that really helpful?

[riagoose.livejournal.com]

Lies to control--good way to put it. I agree--that is how I feel, but leave it to the others to let him take them by his corrupted hand. There is internal chaos right now that is relentless.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

Someone's got to stand up to him, or somehow put him where he can't do any more damage. I suspect you all would have far less internal chaos without him stirring things up.

[riagoose.livejournal.com]

Fear is a very confusing thing. It drives action senselessly sometimes. I'm ashamed and confused...having a hard time admitting this fear...
Ria