ah....crap.

[nematoddity.livejournal.com]

In the continuing saaaaga that is my life at large, I thought I'd check in and say: still no progress on the communication front. But now a more annoying trend has been brought to my attention.

Twice now, this past week, "I" have done something with the rest of the household and I--this I, myself now--have zip nada for memory of it. But whomever it is walking around and interacting with folks seems like me--responds in the way I would respond, knows what I know, has the same sense of humor, has the same everything, apparently...and for the bulk of this week, whenever it's come up, I've been accused of faking, because it's "obviously me", they keep telling me.

Broke down and told the sig oth last night that I really, truly, have no memory of the two incidents in question. She looked disturbed for a moment, and finally said, "Well, that's kind of creepy."

So...great, someone else is here, not everyone is asleep, and I still have no connection with them! I just go down like someone turned off the lights and I surface with no memory of whatever the hell it was I did.

This is so damned frustrating.

Comments

[ex-kiota.livejournal.com]

That's kind of freaky. O.o I wonder if it's someone really like you, or someone who for some reason just acts like you? Have you tried leaving notes for them?

[nematoddity.livejournal.com]

I tried the leaving-notes thing, and that just failed to work completely. Stared at a blank notepad sheet that said at the top, "HELLO, WILL YOU TELL ME WHO YOU ARE?" for two weeks, and nothing. Finally gave up. About the only time I did get any sort of response on the writing-things-down front is with a journal I kept in high school, and...my wrists aren't up to writing everything out by hand anymore.

I may have to buy a journal-book and go for it though, wrist pain or not. See if anything shows up.

The whole 'someone really like me', thing, though...as far as we know--and this is where it gets slippery--all of the others my partner met were wildly different from each other. So to suddenly have one that's so me, not even Cat can tell the difference...doesn't that mean that's potentially a new someone?

Which is, frankly, something I don't want to even consider, even though I just wrote it down. Aiiigh.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

I blew out my wrists on twelve years of data entry. Try a fountain pen.

We've got a sort of default presenting style, based more or less on me and a couple others. Other people in the system often come up front and use that style, or flat-out pretend they're me. Could it be something like that?

[nematoddity.livejournal.com]

I must not be holding the fountain pen right, I get blurbs. :) But when I'm not getting blurbs, you're right, they're very easy to use.

As far as the rest of it...I would have no idea. I'm still trapped in a systemless universe. There's no communication, or there's no communication between me and anyone else--they may be communicating, for all of me--and there's been very few episodes of duoconsciousness. Only recently, as far as I know.

Maybe they all think they're me? As in, the only one in the body? Gods, wouldn't that be frightening...

[gia1977.livejournal.com]

What about using a tape recorder?? You can always go outside and use it, if you don't feel safe enough to use it in your bedroom. Just start talking into the tape recorder and knock yourself out with aimless rambles and see if they will come out that way. If they do, you may notice some voice changes or depth changes. Still the journal is a good way to go too. You can maybe see handwriting variations.

[nematoddity.livejournal.com]

Weirdly enough, it's not the safety issue that kills this idea, it's the fact that I don't have blank tapes or a mike...funny, I used to, but somewhen along the advent of CD, I changed systems, and now don't have it...

I can see how good the in-box mike is, buy a tape...that'll be for later, though. I'm going to try the journal thing first. Maybe go fountain pen shopping. :)

[whispersong.livejournal.com]

buy a $10mic, use windows recorder & record wavs of your msgs on to the computer.

burn to cd if you wish

{J}tatiana

[bizamoogie.livejournal.com]

Fi and Marissa frequently behaved as me, except they were a lot ruder. Although I could communicate with them.... it sucks though, cuz sometimes they can do damage and it'd hard to repair it. Start keeping a time log. It sounds stupid but... right down everything.

9:02am finished coffee
9:05am headed out to car to go to work/place and blah blah blah

[nematoddity.livejournal.com]

You know, that...that just might work.

Okay, new suggestion! We'll see if it works.

[belladonna1217.livejournal.com]

OMG! I'm just thrilled to hear of someone who also just blanks out while someone else is in control of the body! I'm sorry you know the chaos of it though. *smile*

A friend of mine once recorded one of my inner crew and had me listen to it. It was so odd. It sounded kind of like my voice but the attitude or tone was so different from me.

Bella

[nematoddity.livejournal.com]

That hasn't happened yet, though I'm sure my partner's been tempted to record me... :) And for other reasons, weirdly, I'm used to blackouts when someone else steps forward, just...not in this context.