Scared and Confused

[chezames.livejournal.com]

(x-posted in plural_living and our personal journal, chezames)

Hi everyone, this is Cassie. I don't think I've posted here, if I have it was long ago. Lynn usually posts for us, but she is not here. Well, she's sorta here, but not up front, which is the reason I'm scared and confused. Lynn is the main fronter, she's always fronting even when others are. She keeps us together, kind of like the mother of the family ;-) I've never been "in charge" like this, but right now I have to be. I've fronted alot, especially during 4 years we lived in another state because I was in love with someone there. But I only fronted when he was around or when talking about him, etc, I was never really in charge of the group of us. I guess you can tell cuz I'm not as efficiant as saying what I want to as Lynn is. Bear with me please, I really need some advice.

The reason I'm standing in for Lynn is cuz she's very depressed. We're not really sure why, and We don't think she knows. For over a week she's been feeling confused and hopeless, but chalked it up to PMSing then to being on our period. But that has been over for days. And yesterday she just pulled back into a corner and has only come out briefly when her kitten came to snuggle. This has never happened before and I'm worried. To top it off, Cristie's empathic ability is causing her to be deeply depressed as well. Toni isn't around too much, and Kali handles things like this with blame and anger, so I am the logical choice to try to get us through this (the rest rarely front). But I don't know that I can.

One thing that scares me is that I'm worried about Lynn. What's wrong and will she ever come out of this? We are trying to talk to Lynn, help her with this. But it's not easy. I am pretty good at helping people physically wise, but Cristie is the more compassionate and does better with emotional things. Being Lynn is the rational one that can work things out and logically help ppl feel better, that makes it even worse that she's the one who needs help. Another thing that worries me, maybe even more, is that We are here with K because of Lynn - they are engaged. So if she "goes away" or decides never to front again, what do We do? None of the others love him, but We do care about him. He's a great guy but to pretend We love him is not fair to him or us. I or Toni might evetually fall in love with him, we care about him alot, but Lynn is the one that jumped into this and fell for him fast. Toni and I are not like that. We, me especially, need time to see what kind of man he is over the long term. So, again, if Lynn is not around, what do We do? Do we stay here and pretend, hoping it works out? We don't care about the things that Lynn does, we don't like doing clothes, taking care of a house, etc. None of us would make a good wife. Or do we leave and hurt him? We have no where to go anyway. Getting a HUD apartment is not easy, and we will not move in with anyone and burden them. No matter what I think of doing it scares me.



Does anyone have any advice? Or maybe some of you have experienced this within your own system?

Thanks...

Comments

[chezames.livejournal.com]

Yes, her fiance knows "she" is plural. We told him the night we met him :-) We actually told him to scare him away, but he was fascinated! *LOL*

I wouldn't do anything permanant, especially because K is very caring and Lynn is so in love with him. K did talk to Lynn tonight and she's feeling better.

[iamshadow.livejournal.com]

It's not happened in my system, but I have heard of other systems having a main fronter go inactive, disappear or 'sleep' for a period of time, usually because of stress.

Do what you can to keep things running up front, and respect her need for time away from the front. And don't fear that she'll never return. I've read stories about people that disappeared or were presumed to have died that reemerged years later after being completely inactive.

Take the opportunity to gain more experience and proficiency fronting. Share it amongst you if the others are interested in spending more time in the 3D, or if you can't manage it all on your own.

People are probably going to have to learn to branch out beyond their usual 'roles' if Lynn is inactive for a protracted length of time. Learn and grow. Like any group of people working together in a crisis, it's going to bring you closer together and you'll discover hidden strengths and talents you never knew each other possessed.

[chezames.livejournal.com]

Thanks :-) Lynn is back and better than ever. She just needed a rest :-)