Heyas, question (x-posted a few places)

[whisperedones.livejournal.com]

As of late, Our system has noticed... lack of a Host. A definitive one, anyway. I mean, whoever is up front is obviously the 'host' but it seems that lately, there's no real set host.

Is this unusual? It's sort of like there's a revolving door these days. It's not affecting Our classes or work or anything, but it has made a lot of Us think. The former hostess has been really stressed lately, about what? I have no idea. But when she is, Ice, Our co-host takes over. But she's also been very stressed, and usually acts as a watcher over the kids inside, so the rest of Us have all just been... here, taking care of things.

Just wondering if it's unusual to simply NOT have a host?

-Naal

Comments

[hairymonster.livejournal.com]

We have no "host", never have. Just the way We've always been. I know at least a few other multiples like Us, don't think its that uncommon. Also know multiples who've had the host change over time.

We tend to take the attitude that there ain't no "usual" when it comes to being multiple. Each system is unique to itself. Don't know if that helps at all or even makes much sense, but that's how We see's things.

[doltaghey.livejournal.com]

As far as I can tell we don't seem to have an original "host" either. Main fronting is divided more or less equally between myself and Arhuaine. During our teen years and childhood it was someone else. It doesn't seem to affect functionality at all, we just do what is necessary to keep everything in our life running smoothly.

==Cas.

[kiya]

Either none of us is a 'host' or we all are.

[egyptian-spider.livejournal.com]

We gave up the concept of a host a long time ago. The owner of this body lives with another system, and we just decided that we functioned well enough without having someone being the host or strongest front. It seems to work for us. *smiles*

[hellmutt.livejournal.com]

Certainly it's fair to say a lot of systems don't have one host or main front. It's something of a stereotype - it may apply to many cases, but not all.

Hosting can also happen in different ways. It can be a case of a body's original owner hosting walk-ins. In more equal systems, it may just be that one personality is the organising type, or braver, or just has the strongest link with the body.

[crowd32.livejournal.com]

We've had those revolving door times as well. Usually there are a couple of regular fronts, but who that is shifts from time to time. Right now there are three of us who do the majority of fronting, but that hasn't always been the case. In times of turmoil people who front regularly will find themselves taking a backseat to others who need to work things out, or getting overwhelmed and needing more help.

Nothing is really set in stone or permanent about the way that our system works. Sometimes we have a set front, or group of fronts, sometimes we don't. From what we know talking to other systems, I don't think it's unusual for a system to be fluid in this way.

Bel

hi

[perse.livejournal.com]

I have taken over "host" or permanent front of our system for the past year. Before that it was someone else for two years, and before that someone else.

But before I became front, there was a lot of the revolving door effect where we were in some chaos and trying to figure out how to work things. There had been a major upset and it was unclear who was best suited to be handling things.

Oddly enough, it fell to me and I was only 8 or so at the time...

I've learned a lot. lol

all the best
Bethie

[judiff]

i really don't like the word "host" becos it makes it sound like the rest of us are parasites!
I don't think that there's really a "normal" structure for like all multiple systems. If things are working for you (all) then it isn't really a problem that your structure/patterns have changed -but i guess it would be good if you could help Ice and your former hostess be less stressed (but maybe they just need a rest form being out so much)

[36.livejournal.com]

Even before we knew we were a system, the most commonly fronting person or the person whose identity we used as the public identity of the group changed every 1 to 3 years. I think the idea of 'hosts' as something special or more capable than anyone else in a system is a concept made up by therapists. So many of those systems that claim someone is 'host' have had different people in that role in the past.

[shandra.livejournal.com]

We don't have a single person who runs things, nope. Lots of us have stuff we like to do and we try to negotiate chores etc. :)

[morgil-lomion.livejournal.com]

I suppose it partly depends what you mean by host. For us there is probably someone who would fit any deffinition you happened to use, but chances are, with a different deffinition, a different person would be called "host".

If you meant the person who spends the most time out, then it would deffinitely be me.

If you meant the person(s) who organizes the time out front and/or the internal workings of the system then it would be shared between two people in here who really don't actually come out much.

If you meant the person who holds together and maintains the existance of the world in which we all reside when we're not fronting then it would be someone else.

etc. etc.

So, I think deffinition is pretty important as far as that goes and if no one fits any of the deffinitions then that's fine too. As long as you can opperate then I don't see how it matters whether your system is highly organized or more relaxed in its internal relations.

[chrisau8r.livejournal.com]

well in our system, teh one whose out most is chris, who's 12 but everyone thinks shes christina who should be 19 but we havent seen her in like 6 years. at least, shes meant to be. right now its me. i used to be in charge, but then i got pissed off and quit and now jessiah's in charge, and he does a much better job, so i'm just protecting the kids now which i'm much better at, and things are working so much better.

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

We've never had a host as such. Default frontrunners and people who simply frontrun a lot (which is what it sounds like you have) or one consistent sole frontrunner for lengthy periods of time (which you used to have?) is not exactly the same thing as a host as we understand the term. Everyone's operating system is different and there's nothing unusual about any, all, or none of the above.

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

We don't have one, have never had one, aren't even sure exactly what "a Host" is supposed to be or do.

[kuponutmalt.livejournal.com]

Being more of a mid-continuum, I've been the "host" for a couple years now. I think I got started in 2001 or so, but it's fuzzy since I have a hard time telling which memories are mine. It's awkward that way--but anyway, we've had at least four main frontrunners in our life (20 years) and lots of periods of "integration" (although it's really more of a period of "fading out"). I'm just rambling because I can't really relate to your system. The shortest "host" change-over we've had was over a period of months. ;p