It kinda seems like there has to be a line there in a way. I mean if you have somebody in your system who is going around being like flat-out abusive asshole to people then yeah I think that system's got a problem there and they're gonna need to find a way to deal with that.
But also I don't really like the shitty parents example because... well not counting kids in systems, people here are adults. I know I'd be pissed if I had my headmates looking over my shoulder at every single thing I did like parents making sure it was all approved of by everybody. We maybe did stuff like that in the past (maybe still do sometimes) and I think it was mostly BAD for us, like people have got to have freedom to do their own thing and be their own people, and if nobody is allowed to go out on their own and learn and make mistakes and stuff then how can anybody grow? I think I agree with what Pyraxis said about this. And if people in a system are really having probems then maybe they'd need even more to have a community where they can go talk about this stuff and learn and experiment or get help without getting judged so much for not having all of their shit together. Just maybe the line is between not having shit together and like going around and being abusive to other people and not being open to learning and changing or something? I dunno. Or like the "recreational emotional violence" thing sethrenn said?
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2011-02-03 03:05 am (UTC)But also I don't really like the shitty parents example because... well not counting kids in systems, people here are adults. I know I'd be pissed if I had my headmates looking over my shoulder at every single thing I did like parents making sure it was all approved of by everybody. We maybe did stuff like that in the past (maybe still do sometimes) and I think it was mostly BAD for us, like people have got to have freedom to do their own thing and be their own people, and if nobody is allowed to go out on their own and learn and make mistakes and stuff then how can anybody grow? I think I agree with what Pyraxis said about this. And if people in a system are really having probems then maybe they'd need even more to have a community where they can go talk about this stuff and learn and experiment or get help without getting judged so much for not having all of their shit together. Just maybe the line is between not having shit together and like going around and being abusive to other people and not being open to learning and changing or something? I dunno. Or like the "recreational emotional violence" thing