Introduction

[darkladyshadow.livejournal.com]

Greetings everyone.

I ^obviously^ have a personal LJ, but tend to keep this bit of my life out of it.

I've noticed that even the few people who I know in RL tend to change the subject or shrug it off when I try to mention anything on this subject. And I think it would just confuse my online only friends.

I attempted to make my personal journal my multiples journal, all it did was get confusing and annoying. I thought about getting them to start there own, but I think we are all under the assumption that having everyone's thought in one place would just keep things tidier.

I just need a place to freely vent, as do the others.

Eventually you'll get to know us all. But here is the life of the Collective... or as I call it "the Public Face"

There is a fiance (Jim), and two children (Blair and Kaitlyn) the children don't know of my "issue" and the fiance has a hard time dealing, but has known about it since we met. Name given to this body at birth is Sandra, everyone calls us Sandy....personally, I hate the name.


I need to know that I/WE are not alone. And I think all of us could use support from others in like circumstances.

I have searched the net for info, and support groups, but quickly become dissatisfied.

I think we all need somewhere we can vent and be known as who we really are, even in this house we have a hard time living our own lives.

Comments

[talawolf.livejournal.com]

Oi, I know how you feel. I try to just casually mention it sometimes to my friends (who know about me/us), especially if they ask what's goin on with me, and they seem to just shrug it off or change the subject or there's an awkward silence.

I, also, would love to be able to use my own journal as a place to freely vent about me/them and all of that. But, it doesn't seem to work that way. Even a journal has limits. I still feel ashamed after I post something so I stopped posting all together. I've tried to use a paper journal but I had a hard time putting all of my thoughts together on paper as opposed to just typing it all out online. After not posting anything after awhile I feel so bottled up that I'm afraid I'll explode.

It has begun to feel like I'm not being who I am because all of my friends/family don't accept me/us. I do want to live my own life and I want them to know about what's happening with me, but it's like they don't even care or they don't even want to know. It really gets me down sometimes.

I hope by joining this community you'll find that you aren't alone. Personally, I relate to your case rather closely. Good luck with everything and don't be afraid to post more.

[darkladyshadow.livejournal.com]

I laugh at "normal" preople who write "The life I live is not my own."

They have no idea how it truely feels to have a life that is not your own.

[darkladyshadow.livejournal.com]

damn typos

Hey...

[nematoddity.livejournal.com]

Just got back online, I've missed a lot of posts from...well, here and everywhere, really. Catching up is the order of the day.

I think most people I've discussed it with don't get it, to the point of they can't wrap their brains around it at all. They have this dim vague recollection of the movie Sybil, and ask me if I had a really bad childhood. Yeah, well, I don't think so, but then, I'm not the one who had most of it, so you see the problem. :)

I'm still in a really weird place. Everyone's asleep but me, but this month, I started...I don't even know how to describe it...receiving background information? Stuph I've never known before about the others. My partner's been very supportive throughout this whole thing, even though the girl she married is not the girl she's with. (And I have the gall sometimes to bitch about how she's changed...man, I should stop that.)

So, yeah, for good or ill, we seem to be your community. Welcome aboard. (Which you'll hear more than once, from people who've been here longer than I have.)

Re: Hey...

[darkladyshadow.livejournal.com]

I do that. We all do, about how much Jim has changed in the last 3 years. Never hit me that maybe has something to do with the fact that he has to deal with a different person every few seconds-days.

A few are going through that, getting bits and pieces they never had. And shared memories.

Exactly.

[nematoddity.livejournal.com]

I'm just thinking now about it, how maybe, if she was with one of the others right now, maybe the little things that get me, wouldn't. I gotta give props to the partners of multiples out there--they see it, day, night, when we're strong, when we fracture, they see it all. And the good ones stick around.

Huh. Musing. Anyway. :)

[fireincarnation.livejournal.com]

Our system has it's own journal (which noone ever posts in) and some of the others in my body have their own livejournals so that they can post when they want to and be identified as *differant people* than me. This is especially important for the people in my body who are of a differant gender than me, because although my voice may change a couple of octaves when a man fronts in my body, noone who sees me in person will believe I am anything but female. Having their own livejournals allows the people in my head to express their *seperate* identities. Even though they have this journal, many prefer to post in my personal journal, and I think it works pretty well, mostly because they sign their names (or give a description if they do not yet know their name.) I take advantage of the "friendslock" feature of livejournal, so that I can decide who can read what I have written on an individual basis. I made a special friendslock that only allows people living in my head to access certain posts, along with one for everyone in the household, one for those who know about my multiplicity, and one for people living outside of the town of Baltimore. (Yes, I can and do specifically restrict residents of the town of Baltimore from viewing posts in my lj, and no, I don't live in or around Baltimore.)

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

How do you specifically keep Baltimorians from viewing your LJ?

[fireincarnation.livejournal.com]

I know where everyone on my friendslist lives. I simply compiled a list of people who are my friends and don't live in Baltimore, and post things I don't want Baltimore to see so that only those people can see it.

You are not alone

[ksol1460.livejournal.com]

http://www.kitsune.cx/blackbirds/layman/
http://www.dreamshore.net/amorpha/
http://www.astraeasweb.net/plural/

There is nothing wrong with having a separate journal specifically to write about plurality issues. "Keeping things tidier.." is sometimes like trying to buy one and only one brand of soap, shampoo or toothpaste (something we have never been able to manage). You may find that if you allow for things like separate journals, things have a way of sorting themselves out and will not be as chaotic as you might think.

[belladonna1217.livejournal.com]

Hi,
Relationship stuff can be the worst. My gf and I have been doing a lot of talking recently about the multiplicity factor. She can't take *me* loving her one moment and hating her in the next. I can't say I blame her, but I wish she would just listen to me and not the others. Though that is such a selfish thing to say.

I am not sure how many others I'm with. I do know that one of the main fronters keeps her own lj though. We both definitely agree that it is wonderful having journals of our own.

we have several lj's for diffferent people here

[loveshergrls.livejournal.com]

works for us. some post alot, some don't.

as for acceptance among singlets, well... we have one person here who says thats asking too much, and the rest of us fall somewhere in the middle. heh. i suspect most singlets can't wrap their brains about the concept of being plural in any way, shape or form.

like another poster, our lj's are all friends only. we pick & choose carefully those friends.

[diony.livejournal.com]

Welcome!

I'm pretty out in my real life, but that hasn't yet translated to my journalling life. I did at one point start a separate journal for me to talk about my multiplicity in, but I ended up finding it too difficult to write there. It felt too revealing to talk about other people's lives even with their permission.

Several other people in here have their own journals, but only one of them is keeping up with it. She's not out in hers, either.