If you've read First Person Plural then you'd know that one of the ways they dealt with people in his system wanting to cut was by buying a big red marker and using that instead. If you're worried about other people seeing the marks, buy a whiteboard marker or a water soluble marker (a lot of kids markers are water soluble - for obvious reasons) so that after you get the urge to cut, you can wash the marks off.
We got a lot of satisfaction from drawing cartoon voodoo pictures of people who had hurt us and destroying them. We'd make the person as ugly as we could, wrote words around them labeling them what they were, then destroyed the pics, sometimes burning them (safely in a brass cauldron - never just burn something without somewhere to put it when it's lit or you get scorch marks on the carpet) sometimes slashing or tearing them to pieces. Once on holiday, I wrapped one round a stone and threw it down an old mineshaft filled with water.
I found one of the best ways I could prevent complete meltdown was to avoid things that would make me worse. If I'm feeling on edge, I avoid any literature or films that feature abuse or submissive characters that I relate to too strongly. Taking on someone else's angst, pain and suffering only makes me feel worse, not better. A book can't comfort you after it shows you a mirror to your own experiences. You just end up pissed off, alone and hurting.
Sure I read books that reflect my own life, but not when I'm on edge. And I put them aside for a while if I feel them starting to affect me too much, and read something completely different. Some Tamora Pierce, Alan Garner or Terry Pratchett, chill out, and back to the other book when I'm ready. Sometimes that'll be within the hour, sometimes not for a month. Listen to what your body, mind and system is telling you.
Likely, your folks are clueless about your multiplicity. You're a teenager, aren't you? They're 'supposed' to be crazy, angsty and emotional, and angry at the world in general. Your folks will probably just think you're hormonal or having relationship troubles with your boyfriend. Handing the reins over to someone else for a little while if you need some time out from the 3d might be a positive thing. Don't be too paranoid about getting caught. So long as the other person doesn't act too spaced out, you won't get the 'are you on drugs?' lecture.
I hope some of this helps. If I could be there to give you guys help and support I would be - it's not a nice place to be in. Try to stay strong - you have friends here who know what you're going through. It does get better.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2004-05-28 08:19 pm (UTC)We got a lot of satisfaction from drawing cartoon voodoo pictures of people who had hurt us and destroying them. We'd make the person as ugly as we could, wrote words around them labeling them what they were, then destroyed the pics, sometimes burning them (safely in a brass cauldron - never just burn something without somewhere to put it when it's lit or you get scorch marks on the carpet) sometimes slashing or tearing them to pieces. Once on holiday, I wrapped one round a stone and threw it down an old mineshaft filled with water.
I found one of the best ways I could prevent complete meltdown was to avoid things that would make me worse. If I'm feeling on edge, I avoid any literature or films that feature abuse or submissive characters that I relate to too strongly. Taking on someone else's angst, pain and suffering only makes me feel worse, not better. A book can't comfort you after it shows you a mirror to your own experiences. You just end up pissed off, alone and hurting.
Sure I read books that reflect my own life, but not when I'm on edge. And I put them aside for a while if I feel them starting to affect me too much, and read something completely different. Some Tamora Pierce, Alan Garner or Terry Pratchett, chill out, and back to the other book when I'm ready. Sometimes that'll be within the hour, sometimes not for a month. Listen to what your body, mind and system is telling you.
Likely, your folks are clueless about your multiplicity. You're a teenager, aren't you? They're 'supposed' to be crazy, angsty and emotional, and angry at the world in general. Your folks will probably just think you're hormonal or having relationship troubles with your boyfriend. Handing the reins over to someone else for a little while if you need some time out from the 3d might be a positive thing. Don't be too paranoid about getting caught. So long as the other person doesn't act too spaced out, you won't get the 'are you on drugs?' lecture.
I hope some of this helps. If I could be there to give you guys help and support I would be - it's not a nice place to be in. Try to stay strong - you have friends here who know what you're going through. It does get better.
Ruth & co.