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May. 23rd, 2004 04:04 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
thisslideup.livejournal.com posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
multiplicity_archivesHello. I'm new, and I figured I'd introduce myself.
I'm Chedd, and I just recently started searching around for multiples websites. I never really considered myself to have full-blown multiple personality disorder--in all of my past experinces with therapists and psychologists, no one has ever made it sound that way. But there are certain and distinct parallels.
I never considered myself a 'we'. The fact that there were several parts to my inner self was about as natural as having four individual limbs--and I'd never describe them as separate entities in and of themselves.
Among us, there was only one rule. If Caustic dies, we all die.
Caustic is the lifeline. We are all simply a part of him. And that was the only law that we were governed under. If the rest of us failed, we'd never be the same, but only partially impaired.
In my past, there have been many 'characters'. And when they are no longer of use to me, they retire to the town in my head, simply called The City. Most City residents never leave their respective apartments once they enter, and therefore, never interfere with the current, necissary 'characters'.
Currently, my active characters number 4. Each governs a specific set of my emotions and personality quirks. There is Corrosive, the main character, who is morose, pessimistic, and masochistic. He is hateful and cynical and sarcastic, and hates everyone--especially the other 3 characters.
There is Donnie, who is gay, and in charge of my love. If ever i feel giddy, happy, or engrossed in affection, I blame it on him.
Donnie's boyfriend is Chester, who is the shy introvert. He's quiet and rarely makes a fuss, and is hesitant to trust anyone.
And finally, Caustic, who is the embodiment of my personality as a conglomeration of these other three. His stupid mistakes and decisions are mine, his overreacting, his wit (and lack thereof), his kitschy, immature, faithless life echoes mine. He is effected by everyone else's actions.
They live together in a collapsing studio apartment with 7 locks on the doors, with furniature consisting of a bar, a TV on a milk carton, and a single mattress.
They are moody and stark. And after being cooped up with so many diverse personalities, they all hate eachother.
When people say they hate themselves, they're generally talking about hating a distinct part of their personality or action. Instead, I can pinpoint the exact entity responsible for the defection of character.
I've written a lot about these four, in addition with many of my other past characters. ((Some extermely symbolic examples are Chester, who lived in an ivory tower that looked down over the world, and the mexican boy locked in a basement who laughed insanely, and all who heard him felt like they were missing out on something.))
If anyone can relate, I'd love to talk. I'm not sure if I belong here, but I also have many other spiritual connections that may be of interest, if this is not.
If you'd like to talk, IM me at CountCheddica@aol.com
I'm Chedd, and I just recently started searching around for multiples websites. I never really considered myself to have full-blown multiple personality disorder--in all of my past experinces with therapists and psychologists, no one has ever made it sound that way. But there are certain and distinct parallels.
I never considered myself a 'we'. The fact that there were several parts to my inner self was about as natural as having four individual limbs--and I'd never describe them as separate entities in and of themselves.
Among us, there was only one rule. If Caustic dies, we all die.
Caustic is the lifeline. We are all simply a part of him. And that was the only law that we were governed under. If the rest of us failed, we'd never be the same, but only partially impaired.
In my past, there have been many 'characters'. And when they are no longer of use to me, they retire to the town in my head, simply called The City. Most City residents never leave their respective apartments once they enter, and therefore, never interfere with the current, necissary 'characters'.
Currently, my active characters number 4. Each governs a specific set of my emotions and personality quirks. There is Corrosive, the main character, who is morose, pessimistic, and masochistic. He is hateful and cynical and sarcastic, and hates everyone--especially the other 3 characters.
There is Donnie, who is gay, and in charge of my love. If ever i feel giddy, happy, or engrossed in affection, I blame it on him.
Donnie's boyfriend is Chester, who is the shy introvert. He's quiet and rarely makes a fuss, and is hesitant to trust anyone.
And finally, Caustic, who is the embodiment of my personality as a conglomeration of these other three. His stupid mistakes and decisions are mine, his overreacting, his wit (and lack thereof), his kitschy, immature, faithless life echoes mine. He is effected by everyone else's actions.
They live together in a collapsing studio apartment with 7 locks on the doors, with furniature consisting of a bar, a TV on a milk carton, and a single mattress.
They are moody and stark. And after being cooped up with so many diverse personalities, they all hate eachother.
When people say they hate themselves, they're generally talking about hating a distinct part of their personality or action. Instead, I can pinpoint the exact entity responsible for the defection of character.
I've written a lot about these four, in addition with many of my other past characters. ((Some extermely symbolic examples are Chester, who lived in an ivory tower that looked down over the world, and the mexican boy locked in a basement who laughed insanely, and all who heard him felt like they were missing out on something.))
If anyone can relate, I'd love to talk. I'm not sure if I belong here, but I also have many other spiritual connections that may be of interest, if this is not.
If you'd like to talk, IM me at CountCheddica@aol.com
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Date: 2004-05-23 07:27 pm (UTC)"The fact that there were several parts to my inner self was about as natural as having four individual limbs--and I'd never describe them as separate entities in and of themselves... If Caustic dies, we all die."
That sounds median.
no subject
Date: 2004-05-23 09:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-24 08:19 am (UTC)I'm surprised! I've never met anyone who even thought they could relate.
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Date: 2004-05-24 08:17 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-05-24 11:42 am (UTC)http://www.astraeasweb.net/plural/glossary.html
http://www.kitsune.cx/blackbirds/layman
no subject
Date: 2004-06-07 09:04 pm (UTC)What most people I'm sure would just call my 'inner child' is actually the little girl whom I refer to as Kae. I don't actually consider myself completely multiple because she seems more like a fragment at the moment and very dependant on me, but when I act like her, I feel very VERY detached from the world, like I'm in the passenger seat for the moment. She has distinct characteristics and I know she is much more than just 'me' acting silly and like a little kid again. Just like Caustic, Jenn is my personality and Kae's actions directly affect me. I'm sure there are more people like Kae, but they haven't shown themselves at all to me that I have noticed.
I'm not really sure that this response made any sense at all, but I hope it did. Just so you know I think I can relate. I hope I understood your post as you meant it to be understood... if not correct me or I'll try and clarify.
By the way, 'I' will answer to both Jenn and Kae which makes those times that Kae is sitting by and throwing a tantrum and refuses to be called anything but Kae, (but that's pretty rare in itself) a lot easier to handle. I go by Kae on the net all the time anyways.
Welcome to the community, it was a pleasure meeting you. <3