To Clear things up.

[bflathorn.livejournal.com]

I have recently 8 months ago been Dx with DID. I am a male, highly educated with 3 degrees. I knew my childhood was crap and what extent of physical abuse I suffered. I just didn't realize what happened in the process. I battled through my life and struggles always saying hey god lead me through it to make me an excellent counselor and educator..For you see, I am a Mental Health Counselor and I also hold two degrees in education. I went from being a very social, highly skilled professional to a complete collapse which lead me to becoming to physically ill I thought I was dying. I started blacking out, dissociating constantly and pulling away from people. I being the counselor never once considered the mental health side of things...Only the physical. Then after two months of pure pain of my body and numerous hospital er trips to only have them find nothing, I quit working, I sold my car, I removed my phone(s) and became isolated completely in my home. I perfectly managed to run off all my friends and I became completely agoraphobic thinking I was just trying to heal myself of some sort of physical break down....It took me months to realize my body and mind together shut down at once....I was agoraphobic and my life went from amazing to nothing....
I went through my professional networks and eventually found a therapist who is nationally known and from there I know what I know now.
I am a 32 year old male with PTSD/DID-Severe Anxiety Disorder(agoraphobia)... I have went nowhere outside my home in 2 yrs except to the doctors..I have kept my brother and my mother in my life and they both know everything. They see that I get to my therapy and my needs are met. It hurts them because two yrs prior I was top in my field and very social and now I am the opposite of everything I was. My Therapist is a male and has worked with many many people w/multiplicity.. He waited months before he diagnosed me. I am a BASW, BA, LSW,MSW....Now I am on the couch....This is a horrifying turn for me. I feel isolated for I am a male and I should have seen it coming, the flags, the red buzzers...I am a Mental Health professional damn it!!! I also know what is still thought of Multiplicity in the psychological world and circles....Not a working diagnosis....So now I see my therapist twice a week, my psychiatrist once a week and I am learning. I know 2 singlets by name and one without a name--due to age.... I know I am rare because I am a man. That doesnt help me....I would love this to be very well known and researched so I could live easier....Not the case. So I see everything saying her or she or women or woman and try to understand and be patient...I apologize if I have sounded bitter or been bitter in here at times. Truth is, I am.....Angry of my situation.....That with all my knowledge and skill, nothing is making my life the way it was before.
If there are typos I apologize....I was throwing down letters ASAP....Before I chickened out....Thanks for hearing me out......
Shawn