[identity profile] magickalmacleod.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] multiplicity_archives
So, I'm having a moral dilemma.

I finally got the courage together to begin talking to people online, and starting to make friends...I joined the Amber Benson fanlisting, of all things...and I'm making friends...they're all very cool, but only one of them knows I'm multiple. I kind of blurted it out, but I don't think any of the other people know. however, they're asking me about myself, and describing what I look like, and I'm being honest...about what I look like inside, anyway...

do I just pretend my body looks like I look, or do I come out to each and every one of them? I mean, the possibility is high that I'll end up meeting these people at a convention or something at some point...and it'll be akward and weird...I don't want that...

Rick met his submissive in a chat room like I've been talking in...and the two of them are soul twins...I'm just looking for friends, but I am staying open to the possibility that I could make really good ones...

so what have I gotten myself into? What have I done?

more importantly...

What do I do now?

~Tara Lynn MacLeod
Pack Collective

Date: 2005-07-12 10:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littlebus.livejournal.com
so what have I gotten myself into? What have I done?

Those are classic questions for any relationship (friendship included sometimes). Just proves you are a thinking person with the occasional doubt.

I know what you mean about the body not matching the mind's eye. Everybody gets that (singles included - trust me).

As for decribing yourself - What to you do to the body when you are in control to make it look more like you? Do you dress differently? Wear you hair different? Wear makeup?

Describe what you look like then - when people meet you in the flesh that's what they'll see. Is it perfect? No. Is it the most truthful? Yes.

Date: 2005-07-12 10:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] weare.livejournal.com
Describe what you look like then - when people meet you in the flesh that's what they'll see.

That's what I do. The way I see it, what we look like internally is really only important to those inside. Sometimes I wish we could change what the body looks like more easily.

~Yaro

Date: 2005-07-12 10:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] weare.livejournal.com
That is tough. I sometimes have similar issues. Like what to say about marriage? I don't think of Jessie's husband as also being mine. But, to the external world we are married.

Maybe it can be one of those things where you explain it if and when you meet these people offline. Who knows, they might not remember how you described yourself.

Date: 2005-07-12 10:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] littlebus.livejournal.com
Hmmm...

Those could be chalked up to "ordinary internet exagerations". Nothing too bad there, I don't think. Not "I'm 17 and 120lbs and 5'10" with long blonde hair and violet eyes" you see sometimes and have to roll your eyes.

Don't worry... you'll be fine.

Date: 2005-07-12 11:07 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] zenboiuke.livejournal.com
We personally would be ourselves. NONE of us look like the body lol. Even though I associated my appearance with the body for years before I realized we were multiple, I'm not even sure what *I* look like, though that's a long story LOL I do use the body's 'stats' for now, but the others in house would describe themselves as they are. It's easy for us to be open about multiplicity online where it won't result in me losing my job, which would be my only real concern for being more open offline. We figure people will either accept us or they won't ^_^

~Kier

Date: 2005-07-12 11:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] westly.livejournal.com
You're not that much far off. Since you're dying your hair already, you could go the extra steps and get non perscription (Or if you do have a perscription, intergrate it) colored contact lenses.

I tell folks I'm working to look like my inner boy, who's four inches taller, a hundred pounds thinner, with bright green eyes, not brown, and...well...male.

Unlike my body.

Date: 2005-07-13 04:58 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] blindgod.livejournal.com
Correct I think it would be weird if you said you looked like something on the inside and told them, but totally different on the outside!! Preferably tell them what the body looks like, until you build a trust and an understanding with the people. Peace and good luck!!

Date: 2005-07-13 05:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ksol1460.livejournal.com
We are always honest with people on line. We tell them the body is female and so forth, but we also tell them what we ourselves look like.

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