windows :P

[kuwaizair.livejournal.com]

so i did this to Deviant Art, anway I've been down on myself, trying ot see myself and come to relise all the horrble things that make me me (OMG how horrble i don't want to be in love/good frineds with potheads)

then there is just confussion and the genral beating my self "I don't like to drink, i need to, so i can be socail and have frineds...maybe I do like alcholic drinks...ho! why can't i get rid of my green eggs and ham syndrom!?" maybe I do and I convins myself? maybe i'm trying to hard to kill "myself"

so what happens then....some here seem to have the other views on people. i want to be somone differnt, fearless, a floosy. I don't like drugs, then why in the back of my head is "hahah i want my opium"
or somtimes "theres the thinking that thinks without cousious thought"

not "i will eat today" like you are speeking in your head things like {ah choking down the old snake eh?} and the likes.

so i'm a bit of a neurotic mess, a hypocondriac who thinks to much.

hey how do I tell if i'm "multiple" things become acts for to long they manfisest. I laugh at the zoophiles but "god damn that is a sexy dog!" comes up.

yes...i'm a mess. i can't find the me i want to be, it should be a hot chick, looks andogious...don't know how long i've seen this chara. I make up stories to and like to think of them playing in my head. I drempt i was a guy named dark kennith once and once i was a dog. cool? does that mean anything? are they me? or other people?

could one have others that are still them? like playing a new card? facets? or "emotionalities"?

how do i know those obsucre voices aren't me? like the sick pervs or the opium thing?