I tried to write this last night but my brain wasn't cooperating.
Although being told you are multiple can be a shock it is important to remember you didn't just become multiple when you were diagnosed. You have all been living together for many years now, and probably have a personal style set up already that works reasonably well. Trust yourselves that you know what you are doing. This isn't to say there can't be improvements or you have all the answers. but the truth is usually you all (the whole system) knows what works best for you. Don't rush to believe what others say about multiple experience. It might be true for them, but there are no blanket statements, there is no "one way" to do things. Discuss, test, evaluate every bit of information you receive and decide whether it fits you, don't force anything to fit just because someone says it should.
Try not to buy into what I call the "drama requirement" I often see on other multiple websites and email lists. You don't have to cut, have internal wars, fall apart in public, and countless other dramas to be multiple. If soem of those things as aspects of your life then find a way to deal with them, to work through them, whatever. They can be challengeing but they aren't insummountible. They aren't just part of being multiple that you have to put up with.
I don't know how your system works, because well... I'm not a part of it. My last piece of advice, don't trust anyone that says they do, no one outside of your system can know that sort of thing.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2004-12-18 09:37 pm (UTC)Although being told you are multiple can be a shock it is important to remember you didn't just become multiple when you were diagnosed. You have all been living together for many years now, and probably have a personal style set up already that works reasonably well. Trust yourselves that you know what you are doing. This isn't to say there can't be improvements or you have all the answers. but the truth is usually you all (the whole system) knows what works best for you. Don't rush to believe what others say about multiple experience. It might be true for them, but there are no blanket statements, there is no "one way" to do things. Discuss, test, evaluate every bit of information you receive and decide whether it fits you, don't force anything to fit just because someone says it should.
Try not to buy into what I call the "drama requirement" I often see on other multiple websites and email lists. You don't have to cut, have internal wars, fall apart in public, and countless other dramas to be multiple. If soem of those things as aspects of your life then find a way to deal with them, to work through them, whatever. They can be challengeing but they aren't insummountible. They aren't just part of being multiple that you have to put up with.
I don't know how your system works, because well... I'm not a part of it. My last piece of advice, don't trust anyone that says they do, no one outside of your system can know that sort of thing.