Entries tagged with functionality

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Toiling

I hesitate posting to this community because "I" am part of a semifunctional trauma based system and feel a little out of place.

Until we stumbled on this community a few months ago, We bought into the belief that we where broken in need of repair. This viewpoint has always felt uncomfortable for most of us.

We've only had a small glinpse of healthy multipicity and "I" feel envious!! In part "I" feel intimidated by the concept. And the thought that we may never achieve it tears me up. "I" desire the communication and organization sooooo much.

I'm sorry for the lack of clarity, feeling a little emotional

- Trich

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(no subject)

EDIT
I have posted a more detailed system introduction here.

( . )

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functionality, next step!

So quite a while ago, we 'came out' to each other, learned how to front independently, had some major coping issues at first. one problem our natural communication method caused (we access each others memories) is we had memories of being someone that could do things that we couldn't necessarily do. for example, Tia 'remembered' knowing calculus, and remembered doing very well on calc quizzes, but under the new rules, she'd go to class, feel good, put pen to paper, and have no clue what she was doing. we have this problem all over the place with programming, teching (our major/profession) and such.

well when we figured out this was the way of things, we took a major slowdown, got on disability, and took some time getting used to our new rules.
in like, march we got out of that, and started working a pretty easy job that any of us could handle. steering clear of anything technical or stressful for a while. (we've actually been a bit more responsible then we were before, since we seem to have licked depression pretty solidly)

well were alot more practiced at this teamwork stuff, we've pulled off a shareware project or two, and were ready to see if we put our new controlled switching skilz to the test. (that and financial aid thinks its time to either take a class or start paying our loan) so viola! we start our first day of class tomorrow.

weve heard some advice about getting an overlay'ey thing working for crossing skills, but we just don't mix well at all. so our approach is to get myself (candy), lovecry, and synch (if he bothers to get involved) each independantly solid on the material. and Tia switching out, since she suuux at math, but defaces easily enough.

anyways, if anyones got any spiffy advice, please please. otherwise, wish us luck! Im personally pretty amped about it! wooo!

Candy Apple Red of the Changelyng System

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Could somebody answer some questions for me?

I joined this community several months ago and this is my first post here. Please take me seriously I’m in dire need of help. First of all, I have been diagnosed with DID, PTSD, depression and self injury issues. I’m a survivor of long term childhood sexual abuse and I have been in therapy since 1990 dealing with everything. Currently I’m in therapy at a free sexual assault crisis center. My problem is that since it’s a center for victims of sexual assault they won’t put a diagnosis on my mental problems. My current therapist is even reluctant to acknowledge the possibility that I have multiple personalities. But anyone who is around me for any length of time picks up on it rather quickly. I am a multiple and I always have been one.
My mate and I have been together for going on 26 years now and we’re on the verge of breaking up because of my multiplicity. I’m on the brink of losing it because of everybody inside me getting out of control. My life is in total shambles because I can’t keep myself mentally together enough to work a regular job. In the past I had her support and understanding but now that is ending. In the past I worked when I was able, but now I’m totally nonfunctional.
I just can’t keep things together enough to hold a job. Has anyone else ever been unable to hold a job for any length of time because of their multiplicity?

I was wondering if I should seek help at another mental health center where I have to pay for their services. Maybe then my multiplicity will be finally addressed? I really have to get it under control because it’s wrecking my life. In the past my multiplicity helped me to function but now it’s a hindrance. Lately I have been losing track of time. Sections of my life are blacked out and I’m unable remember what went on. In the past it was as if I was watching somebody else living my life. There are times in my life where I can’t remember anything at all about what went on, I have no memory what so ever. But they had a clear beginning and end to them. But mostly, I’m sort of aware when another person is out. But I can’t do anything to change what they are doing. But like I said, recently I have had a total loss of time and I’m really scared that I’m losing it. Right now, I’m Cynthia she is the one who more or less decides who needs to be out in order to function. In attempt to be a singular by my core personality, I have been suppressed or kept inside for five or six months. Right now in our lives everything is in shambles.

What I was wondering, should I seek help for the DID and MPD somewhere else where they will take it seriously? Is there some kind of medication that I could be put on to stop or at least slow down the personality changes? Can all of this be brought under control or am I just hopelessly screwed up mentally? Please take me seriously, I’m not faking this, it really is wrecking my life.