Alters screenplay

[dianneordi.livejournal.com]

I don't have MPD / DID, but I've had two close friends with DID and have known several others.

I'm currently working on a screenplay which I'm hoping will cast multiplicity in a favorable light, and would love to get some input.

The log line: A college student with multiple personalities must make a choice between the boy she loves and the alters who've kept her safe since childhood.

Although there's no explicit sex or violence, I've tried to be very straightforward, so there may be some triggers.

The screenplay can be downloaded it at www.fileden.com/files/2006/11/5/350846/Alters.pdf

Comments can be directed to dianneordi at excite dot com. Use "Alters" as the subject.

Thank you!
Dianne.

Comments

[gryphons.livejournal.com]

Not going to waste the bandwidth to tell you in email, but that has got to be one of the worst, and most trite portrayals of a household I have ever read in ANY format. I had some semblance of hope in the first few pages.. but well that was effectively destroyed. Oh and by the way "multiple twelve steps" as a description.. um .. ick!! and "alter-free" yeah.. really positive light. ..Hopefully we will be free from any further examples of your writing..

Good bye!

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

Oh how lovely. ::Yawns broadly:: Another courageous healing story where every body integrates and is happy and love cures it all. Happy ever after. Twelvestep? Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Mmm. Okay. Whatever. That was terrible.Alissa

[liedownlovely.livejournal.com]

The title itself gave us a head's up it would be terrible. We're sure there will be other people who will take the time to give you critism. We're not one of them.

Please, don't do the multiple community any 'favors'. You're harming it with writing like that.

-Muses Anonymous

[delraith.livejournal.com]

Oh noes you has failds us!

*Fades off into the distance running around hysterically repeating above line*

Fail!

...

[mirrorbrothers.livejournal.com]

Hmph. I'm impressed that everyone so far actually read the thing before panning it. I have to admit, the tagline was quite enough for me. The combination of the term "alters," the trauma origin, and the implication that multiplicity and healthy adulthood are mutually exclusive was enough to tell me I didn't want to read it. But now I probably will, if only because I'm guilted by the example.

The bit about "in a favorable light" is particularly amusing. I suppose it meant the story was supposed to evoke pity for the poor victims.

Rob

[20splinters.livejournal.com]

I didn't D/L your screenplay because this isn't my comp and I can't, but I'm really surprised that multiples in this LJ community haven't been jumping down your throat harder, because while we in this body try to be very patient and lenient with people that don't understand what it is to be multiple, even we would argue ADAMANTLY against being called MPD or DID anymore. (Given that both are still listed in our interests list, but that's more for people who are still dissociative multiples who are interested in becoming aware of each other and learning to work together like we are.)

Anyway, if you can post the screenplay online or email it (non-download, of course!) we'd give it a read. Email's gremlynna at gmail dot com.

Joey

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

Hey! I like "Plurally Inclined" as a title! That'd work!Alissa
P.S. Off to REREAD the script and see if either I or any of the other members of this group can be of some positive criticism assistance since we too are writers.

[rhymer-713.livejournal.com]

You gained some respect from me for listening and working on taking peoples' suggestions.

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

Well, I had a relatively thorough read of the screenplay, and these are my thoughts.

Reading it as an experience of a mental illness, it could be considered a decent depiction, if you are documenting the 'classic' MPD/DID model, and attempting to convey the classic MPD to classic functionality, ie. multiple girl goes from disfunctionality as a group (and they are dysfunctional, even if they are superficially ‘succeeding’.) to a hetro-normative state of functionality. The implication is that the group has intergrated, the sort of 'guardian angel' effect, where they are beneficently watching over Heather while she is married to the boy of her dreams. And to be frank, that is incredibly unrealistic, and probably where the criticism is (partly) coming from. Part of the problem is, of course, is that the classic models, both of depicting multiplicity and depicting recovery, functionality etc, are not helpful for multiples, as a rule. There are people who have experiences along the lines of Heather, but I would ask, why must THAT particular experience be the one written about and shown to a (largely non-multiple) audience?

Part of my initial reaction was to the word 'alters'. Alter as in alter-ego, as in a 'mask' or a 'face', which most plural groups find offensive (us included, to be honest. Calling Tahl my alter ego is...lol. Try calling your lover, your sibling an ‘alter’ to their face, and see how uncomfortable the word is). This perception is backed up by the characters themselves: Zoe, the vivacious one, Heather, the sensative, quiet core, B.J, the innocent...it all sort of contributes to a feeling of them as facades. Also, all the old stereotypes are there. The protector, the child (who is bluntly indicated to be a trauma split, 'to preserve Heather's innocence’), the 'core' who is somehow deprived because of the others, etc. Also, all of the members in the group are female, which is extremely rare, and adds to the feeling of inauthenticity.

So you have several of the biggest stereotypes there: all same sex, the childhood abuse, the 'roles' of the others around a damaged 'core', the notion of splintering etc. Again, I would say that yes, this does and can happen. BUT, is this the story that should be told? I think personally that a writer has responsibility for WHAT stories are told, because those stories affect the popular perception of the subject. Heather's (and it is Heather's situation, in this screenplay, not Heather and her group, or the System' situation) is repeated over and over again in fiction, when it isn't the reality for many multi groups (from my experience, at least). Just as the immature gay couple battling valiantly against society, contracting AIDs/getting beaten to death by skinheads and then having one or both of them die, forever to pine for their lost love sometimes CAN happen, it is not the story that can speak for the vast majority of the queer community. How can that saccharine 'romance' benefit the older lesbian couple campaigning for the right to marry and have a child under law, or the gay teenager, stranded in the country, without family support, who still has to do with his hormones? What kind of culture are these texts promoting?

This is what I feel you should be asking with Heather, and 'Alters' in general. What, and who's, story are you telling? And is that story the one that needs to be told? Is it ethical to continue promoting these notions of what multiplicity is, while bending a plural character to the normative standard of 'boy meets girl, boy and girl get married, they live happily ever after (with or without 'alters'). You have said yourself, this text is fundamentally a romance. Well, romance as a genre is problematic in and of itself. When you try and bend minorities to fit the romantic scaffold, you usually end up with a patronising element. That is what I think has happened in this story. And that patronising problem > drama > cookie-cutter solution is what gets everyone here up in arms.

part 2

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

I think my main criticism is that this story is too bent on making the solution conform to outside expectations of what constitutes health and happiness, without exploring beyond a particular perception of multiplicity or a particular notion of functionality. You are taking a very irregular minority and trying to make it fit the single-mind majority, and it just doesn't gel. If this gets in the media, I know that when I talk to people who have seen it, I will still need to explain the same stereotypes, go over the same old myths and rumours: it will not have changed the public perception of multiplicity for the better. It could even be detrimental: "Oh, I saw this show where this girl ends up integrating, and everyone lives happily after that, and they find the right guy and everything, why don't you do that?" The answer to that one, of course, is that I'm in love with a guy in my group, and we make our own way together. But good luck having any acceptance of that if everyone who thinks they know about multiplicity see Heather(s) and Tyler together, bound in hetronormative, socially acceptable, otherbodied conjugal bliss. Where does that leave me and Tahl and the many others who have in-system relationships? Or groups where the frontrunners have different partners, and everyone thrives? Or multiple systems with both sexes and genders, neither gender, non-humans, or disembodied intelligences? Trauma or non-trauma, they are the ones that remain hidden and disbelieved. Where are their stories?

[tempusfrangit.livejournal.com]

I'm going to be as nice as possible, but I am not entirely sure I'll succeed.

I want the hour of my life that it took to read that, back. I'm sure that entering the film industry, I'll have this problem a lot, so I realize I must get used to that.

Reading this, I know I can get through a pile of steaming cliches without getting pissed, so thank you for that.

But again, there are a lot of cliches in this that needed to be broken with a work that's supposed to help convey multiplicity.. not enforce the idea society has about it.

Delete it and start over, is my advice. Step away from cliches, stop saying that people who have "others" sharing their bodies are "claming to have alters".. and stop with the trauma based splits. Media has covered that to death and I would honestly like to see a piece that shows healthy multiplicity in a permanent, realistic and positive light.

[socntonrers.livejournal.com]

I don't really like how it ends, if I'm to be believe what others have already said about it. I haven't finished it yet, but so far it doesn't seem to be that bad, and they seem like a pretty functional group. I'll finish it later today and see if I change my opinion *shrugs*

Still, why do they always have to integrate? I'm not really a multiple myself, but I can see why this would offend one(s?), and the word 'alters' was a bad choice. 'Plurally Inclined', as suggested above, would be a much better option.

[ex-senza6.livejournal.com]

This was... interesting. definitely made a change from the BRAVE SURVIVOR OVERCOMES HER HORRIBLE MPD AFFLICTION things. The ending... should I take it from the final scene that she'd realised integration was a silly idea and they were back to living as a group? Because I really liked that. Kind've a nice twist-ending there.

I agree with practically everyone else that the Julie plotline was... uh... confusing at best. I can see it working in some format - having Julie be in denial about being part of the system or whatever - but as it stands it seems completely impossible that she and Heather could possibly be unaware of it. the sudden "Tyler was really in love with Heather after all" seems a bit nonsensical and tacked on, too. If he's going to turn out to be in love with her, possibly it needs a bit more... development earlier on? and a happy ending for Julie that's not "she learns to put Heather's needs before her own" would be nice too! I felt bad for her.

so yeah. needs some work basically, but that's writing for you and as a first draft I honestly do not think that this was OMG IRREDEEMABLE. definitely a better portrayal than we usually get round here from the "I have written a book about MPD!" types.

~Jasmine

[lion-azure.livejournal.com]

I'll play the vocal minorty and say that we (host and me, who read the story together) really liked it. The story was engaging and interesting, the characters likable (sometimes I wish we had a friend like Tyler!), and we liked how Heather's plurality was handled. So, all right, plurals usually don't see their alters (omg I said a bad word, quick, let's have a stoning :P) hanging around like you portrayed it in the script, but hey, artistic licence, anyone? I think doing it that way - having different people play the alters, and having them be there alongside the core or whatever you want to call it, is a lot less confusing to an audience than using just one actor who changes in voice and gestures every time Heather switches front.

As for the Julie subplot, that was a bit confusing at first, but we quickly figured it out :). I thought it was kind of interesting.

And we totally didn't read the ending as being "omg integration!!!". It was made pretty clear that the others are still around. *shrug*

Last but not least, thank you for portraying self-harm in a neutral light. The host and one of the others used to self-harm, and yes, it is a coping mechanism. Not a healthy one, not by far, but sometimes, it is better than not doing it.

- Malak

Link about MPD vers DID

[angel13666.livejournal.com]

http://www.dissociation.com/index/Definition/

from the link

[angel13666.livejournal.com]

The key differentiating criteria is the age of the first dissociation, with the seventh birthday being the approximate cut-off point for MPD, and the earliest date for DID to appear. This is the age the child's mind must mature to so that it can "hold it all together" when severely traumatized. After age seven, it may dissociate and form alters, but it will not dissociate into its two component parts, the Intellectual Self (ISH/Essence) and the Emotional Self (Original Personality).

Is MUCH MUCH more in the link we posted before this.