multiplicity_archives

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Intro

*sorry about the cross post...I joined three communities at the same time :)*

Hello, my name is Jessica though most of my friends call me Jessie. I found out I was multiple about a year ago...though it turns out that some friends and family (the few I have felt comfortable enough to speak to about it) have known for years! They never said anything because they thought I knew. *sigh*

Anyways, a lot has changed in the past year. And, after much debate (with my others and my husband and myself) I realize that it's time I stopped being afraid of my others and embrace them. No, I don't mean integration (I don't feel that would be best for us...neither do they) but rather becoming a healthy system. Basically, the thought is that if I allow my others to come out and do things that They like then maybe I won't lose time so much and my life will become a little more stable.

Well, to keep a long story from taking up too much space on your friends pages....

I found this group and two others and decided that if I'm truly going to help myself and my others than talking with and reading about people who understand would be helpful to me. I started this particular journal (weare) as a form of self-therapy and sometimes my others will come out and say some things. They're usually good about signing their name though sometimes they forget (and so do I).

Ok...I should go now. I've rambled on enough. hehe Thanks for listening. :)

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Hi Jessie

I am Josh and part of a system. I think what you are doing with the other people with you is just great. It is true since we have had more time to do things everyone here is so much better. Emotionally it was a rollercoaster with everyone wanting time and not getting it. I am glad you have family that is supportive of you. Some here have been on a group called VASES for more than a year now and have made allot of friends. There's a place for everyone to write check it out if you like but it can get busy tho.

Josh

Hi Josh! Thank you for the warm welcome :D

I know it's going to be hard but it feels like the right thing to do. :)

VASES sounds awesome! Is it an e-group or something? Do you have a webaddress?

~Jessie

Hi Jessie ^_^

I think you will do just fine you have the right attitude towards the people with you and that is really good.

Oh here is the web sight for VASES - www.homepagez.com/vasesuk/ and also here is the person who runs it address you can email her if you like she is really very nice vasesnguk@whsmithnet.co.uk you can tell her I tolled you about it.

Hope you are well.

Josh

Thanks again Josh. :) I'll be sure to check them out. :)

Hi Jessie

I do apologise if I repeated the letter I sent you. I had a problem and thought I did not get this too you but then I sort of remembered that you did write back.

I do seem to forget things ^_^

Josh

:) I didn't notice a repeat. So, I guess it's all good.

Don't worry hon. I tend to forget things too. Kinda seems to come along with the territory. lol

I realize that it's time I stopped being afraid of my others and embrace them. No, I don't mean integration (I don't feel that would be best for us...neither do they) but rather becoming a healthy system. Basically, the thought is that if I allow my others to come out and do things that They like then maybe I won't lose time so much and my life will become a little more stable.

Hey, that's our story, almost exactly, except we weren't losing time. We were just plain miserable and exhausted and using up too much energy maintaining the illusion of a single person. Congratulations and good luck, and welcome to all of you!

*hugs* Thanks for the warm welcome :) I've noticed that a lot of multiples eventually go through the same thing at some point. hehe Though, as usual, that doesn't apply to EVERYONE. hehe

Thanks again :)

Welcome! I look forward to getting to know you and your inner crew. Since I embraced my inner crew, things have been a lot better for me. I still have issues, but then again, who doesn't. LOL! Again, welcome.

Thank you. :) Hearing stuff like that gives me hope that things actually will work out for the best. :D YAY! hehe

Hey Jessie,

We're kinda new to our multiplicity too.
Ruth is the main front most of the time here, but five fronts sometimes too, and Anachronis (or Ana for short) sometimes comes out when we're online and zhe has something to say. There are others here too, but they don't tend to come up front much, or they aren't interested in doing so.

Welcome.

Ruth & co.

Thanks for the welcome :)

Sounds a bit like the way we are sometimes...when I'm not so afraid. I've realized I still have a lot to learn. lol

*hugs*

We wanted to address this comment: My biggest worry is finding out why they're here. ie. unearthing memories that have been hidden away.

You may be worrying for nothing. Not all multiples became plural due to trauma or abuse.

You've been in therapy before. You've probably spoken about your life. Was there ever anything uncovered to remotely suggest that something bad might have happened to you that you don't remember? Was there ever any reason for you to wonder about these things before you found out you were multiple? If there isn't, then don't worry about the people telling you that you're going to be uncovering all of these memories. Multiplicity is quite a bit more complex than just the psychological splitting by abuse model.

If you have reason to believe the other people might know something you don't know, ask them. If being multiple is your only reason, then you're probably making things harder for yourselves over nothing.

That's a very good point. Most of what I've read about multiples say that a large majority form due to traumatic childhood experiences. They don't say much about those who didn't form due to that. So, it became a worry for me. :)

Thank you. :)

Here's a few starting resources. If you have more questions, feel free to ask, and we can probably help. We don't bite, unless you ask nicely. ;o)

Astraea's Web (http://www.astraeasweb.net/plural/)

Layman's guide (http://www.kitsune.cx/blackbirds/layman/)

Pavilion (http://www.tanuki.cx/pavilion/)

Thank you so much :) I started looking at the pages and they sound really great! I can't wait till I'm able to look at them more closely.

This quote really caught me:

"Multiplicity, or at least the tendency, precedes the abuse which may bring our condition to official attention. If it were not so, everyone who suffered repeated, severe childhood trauma would become multiple."

Those two sentences make so much sense to me! I was talking with my husband about why would I be multiple. That's what made me so nervous. I didn't have the best life but I didn't have the worst. And out of all the bad things that did happen to me I know people who have had far worse happen to them. Yet they don't have alters. So, it made me wonder if there was something deeper and more severe that I didn't know about that happened early on.

Thank you so much again for the sites. :)

We are probably trauma caused MPD. OTOH it is entirely possible we would have split or become plural either way. does it matter to Us? no. have we looked for a root cause ? yes.

on the whole the "why" has become less important in some ways. on the whole we've come to the conclusion that being mpd is something we like and if we figure out the "why" cool.

as for "natural" plurality, I will be honest & say I do not think it is entirely possible shrugs. Just IMO. My sister & core do not necessarily agree w/Me but thats ok. Oh & before someone says, don't use the term core or whatever, too bad.

El

we consider ourselves natural. we were a we long before anything that could be interpreted as trauma.

I find that so interesting. Do you know when it was you split? Were you always aware of it? I'm sorry, I'm just curious. :)

We don't consider ourselves a split. Just a many. There are many forms of multiplicity other than the psych. 'split' model.

Sorry about that. There's a lot I still need to learn.

Well, after reading the sites I came to my own conclusion...for now. Those seem to change. lol But, this is something that for the time being most of Us seem to agree on.

Perhaps it's just that there is something where a person is more prone to being a multiple. For each one it may take something to cause them to split and what that is (ie. how "traumatic") depends on the individual. It's not a matter of how strong a person is or isn't, but rather how their unique mind works. As human beings we are all unique. We all handle things differently. So, while there are multiples who split because of something extreme, there are probably also those who split because of something less extreme or perhaps not even all that bad (to the outside observer).

The way I've come to view it is this: I probably split for a reason and whatever that reason was it was probably to help me in some way. Therefore being a multiple is a good thing. At least at its basic principles. Whether or not it continues to be a good thing depends on myself and my alters.

Right now I'm not very worried about the hows and whys. Just curious...as I tend to be.

Sorry about that....forgot to switch LJ users before responding. :)

hi! welcome! i'm my of the puzzles and clocks system. glad to meet you. we've been getting the hang of being multiple for a while but its still confusing sometimes. i think everyone probably progresses through their understanding of that just like any other aspect of themselves.

i think there's always room for anyone to grow so don't feel like you don't have something worthwhile to add if you have a personal insight of some sort.

just because you're new to all of this doesn't mean what you have to say is any less valid. it may be something others already know but everyone must grow and such at their own rate. so don't feel intimidated if alot of people here seem to be alot more knowlegable or experienced.

Thank you so much for the warm welcome. :) Everyone here is so nice.

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Intro

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Welcome!

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