mother tongues

[arimle.livejournal.com]

I was reading some of the posts on the last thread and it made me think about Slávka, who I mentioned in my last post. She was the first person I became aware of, because I was already somewhat aware of somebody else inside of me who spoke Czech.

There isn't anything toastery (this is another term I like very much) about this, it isn't as if suddenly I, who had no Czech connections whatsoever, rose up one morning and started gibbering in Czech. I understand just as much Czech as Sláva. I can translate probably better than she can, in fact. But only she can generate it. If she's not around, I have a very hard time speaking it at all -- even though I know the words and I know how to pronounce them.

She and I were born at the same time, I a little before her, (I've begun to think of us as sisters) in the same place, the library. I was born from the history books we read, and she was born from our Czech textbook. (Actually, I think that an amalgam of Sláva and me was around for a little bit when we were very young, but was gone by the time we started grade school -- it's a sort of in-system reincarnation, or something, I guess.) If there hadn't been a Slávka-seed somewhere inside, then we'd only have learnt Czech because we're language nerds, and we'd have gotten bored with it long ago; but the egg was fertilized and she was born.

So anyway, the whole point of this post is not just sort out my thoughts about mine and Slávka's genesis, but mostly to ask you how language affects your system.

Comments

[arhuaine.livejournal.com]

We have someone in our system who understands Irish Gaelic, but cannot speak it. We also have a language in our "inner world" (Alorya) but we have a really hard time getting it from inside to outside, if that makes any sense. As soon as we try to make any sense of the language or speak it aloud or even just try to remember it, our "brain" decides to translate it automatically into English, which is really frustrating. Consequently even though we've known about this language for a long time, we've only managed to translate a handful of Aloryan words.

[kiya]

You know, I wonder if some of my tendency to jumble language might be weirdness in my system now . . .

The language stuff that comes up with our system most often is that several of us are highly non-verbal. Silver tends to emote rather than use language; she has a half-dozen words that she uses readily, which have heavy emotional connotation. Stormy communicates primarily with body language, which is somewhat hard to express a lot of the time; it doesn't go into language very well.

Sometimes I'll get someone fronting who doesn't do language well, and the only person with verbal skills who's available for the assist is someone who doesn't really understand what the non-verbal one is trying to say. Usually in those situations, I can switch front if I choose, but the meaning-loss is somewhere like 95%, it's not that other person's feeling to express or whatever. So I don't generally switch, I just get frustrated.

[saturniakitty.livejournal.com]

I think I know what you're talking about. My young one, Puchiko, speaks only Japanese. She can understand English, but processes the words as if she's hearing Japanese, and then so when she speaks to people she doesn't understand why they can't understand her. This is extremely frustrating for everyone who doesn't know Japanese. I'm in the process of learning it (hopefully I'll be fluent eventually). Puchiko is fluent, however due to her age (around 5) the way she speaks is hardly appropriate for myself.

Re: ok I must ask...

[sexylittleone.livejournal.com]

My language skills are inadequate. I struggle with english everyday...

I rely on my cores verbal skills & fluency to get me through most words. I grew up inside not talking for a very long time. an example of how I speak and think:

i not know what say u all ... language difficult for me. think picters not wurds... ppl not get that an i hhard unferstand for ppl round me...even inside. sighs this how think really if not use core skill. sad? or not?

you see my difficulty. and I'm a late teen not a little. This has posed tremendous problems at times ...and if I am stressed that is how I speak (we call it regressing but I do not know nother word for it.) Btw, my first language is french shrugs.
If you can call thinking in pictures a language then that is first. If I could communicate that way I would...but I can only projrect those to others inside. sigh.

We had until a few years ago, a non-verbal person... I comminicated quite well with her as I am not exactly language oriented either.

El

[elenbarathi.livejournal.com]

Well... I am three people most of the time; others sometimes show up temporarily, but don't stay. Designation "I/me" meaning one physical body, one 'outer identity', and communal memory-stores for what has occurred in this body. Think of it like one computer shared by three people.

When I was a child there was a language, and the memory of the place it was spoken, and I/we seemed to be from that place... but where it was, or if it was, I have no way to know for sure. I can still sometimes sing in that language, but whether it is a real language or just glossolalia cannot be determined.

I pick up languages and music very fast, almost-but-not-quite a "savant skill" - can read bits and pieces of a dozen languages - I do know that the language I remember/sing doesn't follow the pattern of any of the European languages I'm familiar with. I've tried recording it, transcribing it phonetically; I can't even identify where the verbs are, nor have any of the several linguistics experts with whom I have discussed it been able to help.

One ethnologist from eastern Siberia did tell me that it sounded similar to a language related to her own (which was Ulchi, an indigenous tribal dialect) and said that if I went to Lake Baikal, I might find someone who could understand it. However, I could get to the Moon about as easily as to Lake Baikal, so that's pretty-much a dead end.

My "brothers" have no particular interest in languages or literature most of the time. One speaks, reads, etc. as fluently as I-who-write, but doesn't generally choose to assume corporeality. His twin DOES choose to be corporeal, in fact needs to be at least every couple of days or he gets miserable, but can't read or write, speaks very limited English (with noticeably-odd syntax) and until a few years ago didn't speak at all. He's very shy, and usually abandons 'front' immediately if the necessity for speech arises, so hardly anyone outside our 'House' has ever heard his voice.

However, he learned Tolkien's Sindarin Elvish faster than I-who-write did when I started studying it, and he likes that language much better than he likes English. There is some question whether his non-verbalness is a matter of inability or of choice. Co-consciousness among the three of us is nearly total as far as it pertains to my "outer life" where all of us are one person, but is quite limited as far as "internal life" where we are three people, and/or two people with one divided in half.

*wry grin* You can just imagine what one of the Thought Police a "therapist" would make of all this... thus I have never mentioned it to one, and never will. For many years I thought it would be some vindication of my belief that my "old memories" are real if I could prove that the language is real... and maybe it IS real and still spoken somewhere in the world, so that if I could find one who spoke it, I could sing the songs and be understood.

On the other hand, maybe it was real once but died out long ago, with no trace ever left in writing, like so many dialects throughout history. Maybe it was (or still is) real but all that's left to me is "baby-talk", nonsense-words that follow the pattern but don't really mean anything. And maybe it is glossolalia, has no meaning and is based in no actual language-structure. I will probably never know.

To me-writing, this fact is sad and somewhat distressing. I WANT to know, one way or another, but the trail's cold, and the only possible "lead" I've ever gotten is half a world away, where it's unlikely I will ever go. To my gwedeir, my 'brothers', my Housemates in this body, it is a matter of indifference: ghost warrior shrugs, says "Even if you knew, who could you tell? Who would believe?"... forest dancer looks up, tilts his head and smiles gently, humming a tune for which there is (now) no words.

Re: ok I must ask...

[sexylittleone.livejournal.com]

mmm interesting world you have. No I would never tell a therapist that stuff either. It is not in Our best interests to do so. They would simply label us insane & lock us away. no matter how understanding that therapist may be.

your brothers sound interesting. I can certainly relate to the forest brother. ty for sharing your insights.

El

[bekkypk.livejournal.com]

When I was in my early teens I made up own language... now occasionally I find my bonds speaking to me in it... I half-understand them, but I've forgotton half of it. It's weird. The ones I suspect are my true multiples don't know it either, which makes me seem to think we've forgotton as a collective while the bonds, seperate from us, have retained the knowledge.
xx