multiplicity_archives | She said No she said, they said

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She said No she said, they said

We are having the weirdest experience with a outside friend of Tieas.
She'll often start a quetion with Tiea with "So where do YOU want to go"? Tiea will typicaly wait a second or two and listen to us to see if we have a special place in mindwere all rooting for and answer the friend.
Allot of times the friend will say "we' disagreed and "came out and said something differnt", if its not a place the friend wants to go to, or like a movieshe wants to see, the friend will blame it on "us " and say "well all your little people couldet decide so were not going anywhere" If she's driving.

Or Tiea will end up some place she did not want to be and the frind will say "So and so said No" This is so NOT true and Tiea is catching on . We first off dont like being called "the little people" But to end up at a movie or club none of us wanted to go to and have it blamed on s is bothersome.

Has anyone had something like this happen? Were not sure weather one of us should say something( seperatly) to her(the friend)or wait for Tiea to say "No I was here and nobody switched at all" I dont think I'm explaining this well. But this outside friend will blame "us " "the little people inside "She even has called us "the munckins" Tiea just hung up the phone on her .
Peace Shelby

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Sounds like a real bitch. I say ditch her.

-Bellona

the thing is she thinks its cute and respectful cause she is "considering our needs and wants to" But now she is just talking down to us and making upo stuff, also shes the only outside frined Tiea is raely"out "to and we have individually spoke to her , But we dont think she gets Tiea Knows when we speak to her.
Thanks Shleby

She's taking advantage of Tiea. That's not the hallmark of a good friend. Tiea should either sit this girl down and talk to her or ditch her. No one needs "friends" like that.

-Bellona.

Your right Teia has so few outside good friends but we have to tell Tiea shes not being up front with her .
Shelby

With friends like that...

I know this much is so true , but I'm just the dumb teenager nobody LISTENS to me obviously most people can see Kathy is not a real friensd but it might take a hammer knocked over Tiaes head to really "get it"
Shelby and Marcil... Elaine is here and says Hi and stay Cool

i agree with you. ditch the bitch. ha ha

Ah your icon has us wanting a cigg .very cool my cat is sitting here looking at the smoke. No we bitched at her today for a change

what rudeness. if a friend treated me and mine with such an utter lack of respect, she would not remain a friend for very long.

Well your both right an dI would not keep her as a friend but like I said she is Tiea's only outside friend that she can talk about "us" too. She is getting on our nerves though .
Thanks Shelby

Haven't had that happen. I wouldn't put up with it very long if it did.

yeah we wish Tiea would get more bold cause w ereally donot want to speak for her. It would sound better comming from Tiea alone, more powerful
Thanks Shelby

She needs to before it gets really bad. I read that this is Tiea's only outside friend from above, but is she really a friend if she's doing this? Is she really able to talk to her about you guys if she's reacting this?

We think you have a good point, but Tiea is a nester and kinda slow on uptake but she knows something is real wrong. She keeps doing roll call and asking "Did any of you say anything ?' "Did I lose time?" This freind should know its been a rough month for all of us not to fiddle around with "our heads" .
Shelby

She should know that - but she's still "fiddling with your heads". That, again, is not a sign of a true friend. And, I would confront the problem before it gets to be a bigger one.

I got a idea Hi My name is Elaine, and I see Kathy do this all the time . I think we should tell her we have a "tracer" that knows what goes on at ALL TIMES so nothing gets mixed up because Kathy is a MHP Nurse and might understand that from Pschology model of MPD's . Im Just 17 but I like my idea . What do ya all think?
Teens to the rescue again LOL
Thx Elaine with Shelby

Hmm, but do you really have a "tracer"?
The best thing would just be honesty (and having a tracer may be honest I'm not sure). I would just tell her straightly that doing what she's doing is very offensive and rude and mean. Otherwise she'll take it as her behavior and treatment was ok, and it wasn't.

Your probly right Tiea's old therapist used to insist we have a tracer but we've never heard any one claim it. I personally just really want this women to know "We " know what she is doing and Tiea is not stupid. Even if Tiea is thinking it over way too long .

See we have lots of friends but shes the only one were totally open with and to know she is using that against us sucks. I think I'm going to say something tomorrow when she calls.

Everyone says I have moxy for my age. Sounds old fashioned thing to have to me but I think there giving me a compliment ha Thx Elaine Sheblby says thanks your right we should just tell Tiea or talk to the friend "ourselves"

Nothin' wrong with moxie -- it means energy, kick-ass.

Even if you don't have a tracer or a common memory pool or narrative thread, we have always believed that it is possible for groups who don't have one to create one. Not sure how one would go about doing that but maybe one of the groups on this community who has done it could explain it.

As far as your "friend", level with her, tell her you don't like being gaslighted. She talks as if she doesn't believe anybody's real but Tiea. She must take your word for it as far as Tiea being able to give an honest answer after polling the group, and that she is not blacking out. If she can't handle you being plural, she is not worth your&'s while. You& don't need friends who take advantage of you& in that fashion.

Were going to listen to Tiea talk to her today. We think because this women is a MHP Nurse where we used to work, she tries extra hard to be excepring of Tiea but she humors us, but trust me we are not "little people" or "munchkins" either so it is kinda condensending.

If Tiea starts doupting us or her own memory we are going to step in "ourselves" and say "hey whoo, we know we did not want to go to see that movie, you did, and nobody spoke aloud to you but Tiea and Tiea made that clear." Sounds stupid I know . But we do a movie once a month and we were saving our Money for "Walk The Line " Movies are expensive and were too old for the club this women likes to frequent.

With all the noise in our heads and the noise in the clubs its enough to go whacky not a place a multiple with "Kick ass moxey" even wants to be. Goives me a headache and makes me dizzy . Were more for a book or poetry reading or Kereoki.

Yeah were going to listen in today since we have to go to work half day and clean out our desk , were moving to another floor. hmmm I'm glad they think of me as energetic thats cool. Thx Elaine, I'll let Shelby read posts later

Let's hear it for moxie!!!

Keeping in mind that I just woke up, I would have to say that I agree with pretty much every one else who has posted. You do not need a friend who keeps messing with your head, and manipulating or trying to manipulate you. I can understand being worried about loosing one of a small number of outside friends. But if she is willing to use the other people in your system as excuses as to why you should do X-thing, that's quite disrespect in a number of ways. We have a very, very small amount of people that are truly friends but all the same prefer that over having a large amount that we might not be able to trust. Any way's, we wish you luck with dealing with this friend of yours.

Apollyon

Agreed , We just told her today what shewa sdoing and she still didnt get it and acted like she was doing Tiea a favor to include us inher discussions with Tiea. So we see her at work but we wont on the weekends.

We've beeen getting allot of unhealthy people out of our lives
Thanks Shelby and Marcil

Tell her to stop lying in order to manipulate you.

If she refuses to stop this pathetic behaviour, I agree with ditching her. She's abusing her knowledge, and being a completely shit 'friend'.

PS, the name thing is shit. I suggest you make a name for yourself as a group so she can stop using patronising crap.

The joy of having an all adult system is that nobody can use patronising kiddy names. Let me tell you, if anybody did, there's several of us, me included, who'd be reacting in distinctly unpleasant manners.

Well we were going to post this to thank everyone so maybe everyone will read it.

We told her today at work. Well Officialy Tiea questoned her weird when she asked again"so what do you guys wnat to do tonight? "A movie or fish fry"? Tiea being pasive agressive says "what does it matter you'll just make up something up and say the gang mates said and say I said it anyways"? So Kathy gets all defensive explaining the reason she asks what the "little people" want or "the munchkins"is she wants EVERONE to feel included."

So Tiea says "heres the thing Kathy there people not" munhkins" or "little people" like aliens in my brain there people(almost screaming )"
So Kathy says "Ok do you want to speka for them or have each one tell me what they want to do"? Tiea says "No I want you to listen to the answer I give you and assume we all agreed and not make a big deal about it and then lie about it."

She get's in her MHP Nurse persona and says "I suggest you all get your shit together cause I was being nice is all." Tiea says "nice people don't lie" Kathy goes "ya know Tiea "they" just dont want you to have any NORMAL friends and leaves. We think that went well. Geez Shelby & Marcil and Celi Mosaic House gang

Kathy's right, if normal means lying manipulative bitches. *grinz*

Good show.

--Me

Ok whatever, we dont undertsnd your response and why you feel the need to keep something going so whatever,either you did not accept the apology or you just dont get what we were talking about in this post.

When we dont agree with someone in any community we just stay away from them.
Shelby

I was talking about Kathy. You might be being a bit oversensitive here.

--Me

Sorry "head down in the sand" embarrased I meant to reply here.

But read around the vacinity and you'll see all my apologies .

Thanks for the support sorry I misunderstod you
Peace Shelby

(deleted comment)

Thanks Lisa Yeah I feel like a idiotand moron .

I didnet get it about the "Show "I thought meant we made a scene for Tiea, but now I totaly get it so apologized all over the palce. Sometimes I have trouble interperting the written word and take evrything very literal sometimes . I kept thinking but What show? no show, we talked is all
But if Toni had said something there would have been a scene for sure.

How are ya doin today?LJ is moving like a snail today. Does it do thaton Saterdays ?

Thanks, allot Shelby & Jade

It's usually a good idea to ask if you're not sure what somebody meant by something. A lot of times I read things literally too -- I'm not clear on what people mean especially when I don't know them well, and have to read it 6 or 8 times before I see it. With autism it's sometimes hard to tell when people are being sarcastic and when they mean it.

I agree with you .As we get to know people we can tell when there joking but it can be hard on screen when your just getting to know someone but this time I messed up. arggg. Shelby

So We suppose if you were out with someone and they kept calling your people, "Munckins" or "little people" you would have no problem?
Shelby

Or if by some chance w were misunderstanding your post then we apologize but the "Good Show" we dont get,but itdoes seem sarcastic, there was no show we just walked away in a disagreement.
Shelby

Yes you did misunderstand the post. The term was meant to indicate you did a good thing there. *sighs*

--Me

yeah we did or specificaly I did ( I keep trying to ost and Lj is movng at a snail s passt and then it goes toerror page ) so I hope this posts. You can just call me idiot You can just chalk it up to me being moronish lately I thought you meant it the other way like we caused a scene and we let Tiae deal with it But now duh * knocks self in head I get it *

Please accept my aplogy again
And thanks for thinking we did the right thing
I can be a study in frustration even to me Shelby that is
I just told the Mosaic Gang you meant it good not bad and they were like Duh
Peace Shelby

See above.

--Me

Boy do I feel like a idiot ok dum de dum .. you should look below I guess or somewhere around there, I get it, and Elaine gets it too, Thanks
Peace Shelby

Were sorry again

Some of the most sincerely fucked-up persons we've ever known promoted themselves as being examples of 'normal people' and their behaviour as 'what normal people do.' Not just that, but those particular individuals also repeatedly informed us that we didn't understand 'how normal people do things' because we had never gotten a chance to be exposed to it, and they were going to be the ones to show us how to be normal. Last time it happened, we finally wised up to the fact that there was nothing normal about continual emotional abuse and walked on them, despite their warnings that we would never be able to live or get along with other people if we ignored their 'help.'

What a loser. I suggest you ~~introduce her nose to the back of her skull~~ get away from her ASAP. That shit is NOT healthy. Although, being passive aggressive is not a good way to start a constructive discussion.

Good point about the passive agressive. We know. We used to think Tiea was just painfully shy cause some of us that were there when she was young knew she was terrified to open her mouth and ever tell what she really thought, but as we grew with her, we saw she was trying to be herself,be heard and taken seriosly and please everyone in the world the result she was not saying anything she wanted ever or being herself or getting heard But we were hearing her allot.

We figure this= Passive aggressive, she'll complain to herself after a converstaion and we hear it the longest as she regurgitates it in her head. then outloud to get our attention, she can be funny to listen to, from my perspective.

We actually saw this friend the other night and she went on in a casual enviroment about how she aways thought "Little people" sounded better than calling them "alters" cause that didn't sound like we were real really to her, and at least she was acknowloging we exsisted.

Tiea did not respond to that statement and none of us did either it made us wonder. Like which would we prefer "personalities" "alters", "fragments" or "little people"? .

This I know for sure "Munkins "is unacceptable even though we do have some kids they have never spoke to her there too afraid to come to the outside world unless with one of us adults.

Hey how do you cross out what you write ?I havent found that key yet would ya mind sharng where it is? We make allot of mistakes and are always re- editing Thanks Lol Peace Shelby

[strike]I didn't say this, honest[/strike], Replacing the []s with the typical HTML tags.

Passive aggressive is an art form :P It's not being quiet and bitching when somebody's gone. It's *subtle* bitching. It's saying something which isn't *technically* something that should start an arguement, but that you know will, and in a tone that means it will. It's very hard to explain without examples, and my brain is mush this morning.

If you see sarcasm in a bitch fight, it's often passive aggressive ^^ Others will be better at describing than me.

We don't use strike tags for editing usually. We use it for "Here's what I really want to say but know I shouldn't, but for humours sake will say anyway followed by the polite version."

AAAHHH strike tags ,we'll have to look for those. I like that idea, like this is what I want to say but to be correct I'll strike it but its still thee ha ah. Hymm Maybe Tiea isent passive agressive at all, maybe I got it all wrong cause she typically is completely quiet, doesnt say a word and then on the way home bitches to herself or us cause we can hear her.

She trys to please everyone, to the extent of losing herself . I'll have to look up what passive agressive definition really is cause we always thouht it was like... Person orders a medium rare steak, server brings them well done , person bitches to party there eating dinner with but refuses to tell server this is not what I ordered. I'm not sure if that is passive agressive a martyer or just plain annoying.

Thanks for the tip its off to another Manic Monday. I only have a half day due to peersonal days being taken. Thanks, Shelby

Oh Oh Oh I just got it Tieas Grandmother was a real passive aggressive cause Tiea would respectfully cause she was a elder always say "Grandma why don't you just say it already its what your implying" Own it." Well allot of the problem with Tieas Grandma is she spoke broken English but she could make a point and drive it home .

When ever she did start a argument she would blame it on her bad English. She was the best lady though we miss her... Shelby
PS she taught us to cook and knit and take care of house and everything a Mother should, are Grangma taught us, cause our Mom was unable . Thank God for Grandmas

The likelihood of any 'mental health professional' believing in the reality of your Kin is slight. According to orthodox psychiatric dogma, it is not possible for more than one person to share a single body; therefore those who perceive themselves to do so are, by definition, mentally disordered.

According to established psychiatric tradition, it is acceptable to lie to and emotionally manipulate the mentally disordered under the pretext of 'helping them'. This frequently takes the form of pretending to believe whatever the disordered person claims to be true. You are certainly not the first to be taken in by this ruse.

What you may now expect of this person is that she will attempt to discredit you in the eyes of as many people as possible, by telling them things you have told her in as damning a way as possible and insisting that you are crazy. I do not know you or your situation, therefore cannot advise you, but can tell you that in a similar situation my advice to my own sister was to 'confess' that she had made it all up, that my brother and I did not exist outside of her imagination.

She did this, and while the consequences were not pleasant for her, they were better than they might otherwise have been. In this society, lying is such common custom that to be viewed as a liar carries no great weight of opprobrium, while to be viewed as mentally ill poses clear and present danger. I know it goes against the grain to claim that one was lying when one was not, but it is the most expedient way to contain the potential damage from having spoken truth when one should not have.

There is no way to prove you are multiple if you say that you are not. There is no way for this woman to prove any allegations of what you said to her, if no one else heard you say it. You have what is called 'plausible deniability' on your side, for most people in this place do not believe in multiplicity.

Hymm Very interetsing!Are you a lawyer Just wondering cause you speak in terms our cousins use like plausable deniablility , and denible and such anyways we cant really say we dont exsist cause we do and, have all spoken to her and her to us for years now, and we are outed on the job anyways. If we recanted that our exsistence was real everything else taht went with how we were born would beconsidered a lie and we are not in a position to make Tiea look like aliar especially Now ( because of circumstances0

Most people do not have a problem with it if it does not stop one from paying there taxes I've found. Ha ha No really I see what your saying. because our Mom was parinoid schizophrenic and from young we learned it was easier for her and us if we just agreed with her hallucianations and what not like radios and things were saying stuff about us or if we were playing Scrabble we were talking about her with our board words But were not saying imposturous things like "lets all hide the FBI is after us" Or" see that Helicopter that flew by your Dad hired it to spy on us" or
lets bolt the door now kids theres a killer lose and he is headiing straight for this house my angel told me see the angel "And I know one could compare our Moms angel to us cause tehy cannot se the angel But our Moms angel always thought someone wa killing someone .
We dont have those dellusions

Well we would all agree cause it would calm her down cause she got worse and would argue.

Kathy will ask me "Have you checked with Jade? or does Toni need anything at the store?" or "Tiea why dont you and all your "little people" make a list before we go shopping it will save time, and everyone wil get what tehy want "So the friend starts it.Its not like I come out and say Hey Kathy dont listen to Tiea shes a bit off today we want to go clubbing and not a movie Then she( Kathy) denies that we made the list or asked Toni about the store or checked with Jade when we did so its not that she is denying we exsist its that she is playing us off one another to get what she wants... ie going to the club ...and saying we came out and said we wanted to go . But we see your pointwhat you mean Thanks Shelby

No, I am not a lawyer. 'Plausible deniability' is technically a legal term, but it is frequently seen in common usage.

It sounds as if your erstwhile friend already believes you to be a liar, so you would not lose much by corroborating that belief. However, I do not suggest this as an initial strategy; only as an option to consider if and when she begins a campaign to discredit you in the eyes of others.

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manipulation isn't friendly

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