windows :P

[kuwaizair.livejournal.com]

so i did this to Deviant Art, anway I've been down on myself, trying ot see myself and come to relise all the horrble things that make me me (OMG how horrble i don't want to be in love/good frineds with potheads)

then there is just confussion and the genral beating my self "I don't like to drink, i need to, so i can be socail and have frineds...maybe I do like alcholic drinks...ho! why can't i get rid of my green eggs and ham syndrom!?" maybe I do and I convins myself? maybe i'm trying to hard to kill "myself"

so what happens then....some here seem to have the other views on people. i want to be somone differnt, fearless, a floosy. I don't like drugs, then why in the back of my head is "hahah i want my opium"
or somtimes "theres the thinking that thinks without cousious thought"

not "i will eat today" like you are speeking in your head things like {ah choking down the old snake eh?} and the likes.

so i'm a bit of a neurotic mess, a hypocondriac who thinks to much.

hey how do I tell if i'm "multiple" things become acts for to long they manfisest. I laugh at the zoophiles but "god damn that is a sexy dog!" comes up.

yes...i'm a mess. i can't find the me i want to be, it should be a hot chick, looks andogious...don't know how long i've seen this chara. I make up stories to and like to think of them playing in my head. I drempt i was a guy named dark kennith once and once i was a dog. cool? does that mean anything? are they me? or other people?

could one have others that are still them? like playing a new card? facets? or "emotionalities"?

how do i know those obsucre voices aren't me? like the sick pervs or the opium thing?

Comments

[szczur-system.livejournal.com]

I think you may just not want to think of yourself as liking the things you do. (Re: calling your 'other' (or yourself) a 'sick perv').

[kuwaizair.livejournal.com]

oh yeh maybe. its an act, a mask but I'm afraid it will manafest itsself. thats what you get for having boys as friends growing up and watching Bevis and Butthead young. (or being a self proclaimed closet fur)

[szczur-system.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, we did not understand much of your entry or this comment.

[appadil.livejournal.com]

Precisely. I'm fairly sure I'm familiar with the terms and subcultures you're talking about and I'm STILL in need of a translation. If you would slow down and use grammar, Kuwai, someone might be able to give some insight and help...

[szczur-system.livejournal.com]

Why does that make me think of a small anime character shouting, 'KUWAIIIIIII'?

Why?

[spookshow-girl.livejournal.com]

I know plenty of people who have done the above, who don't express the issues you are presenting. Perhaps you should come out of the closet about being a fur, however, if you think that that is contributing.

--Me

Re: Why?

[(Anonymous)]

i'm "not that furrie" I don't really have all the fetishes, and i like the look of the anthros, its so much more fun, you can make a "Chinese" African painted dog chara...insted of a chinese chinsese princess chara, you know culturaly and what not....we have people from what not, living in other countries...they can have African Ancestory and be culturaly French and live in America...thats awsome too.

You know, yeh i'm not to into all that. I tryed making a fursona, i chose a Miacis. but may scratch that. But the dog thing. I don't know where that comes from. maybe i was one in a past life?

Re: Why?

[spookshow-girl.livejournal.com]

I don't think that you need to have the fetishes to be furry.

About the dog thing, I really can't tell you. That sort of thing is difficult to verify, and I certainly don't have the ability to do so. Alternately, the dog as a concept may be significant on some level to you. If so, maybe it's important to know why. On the other hand, maybe it's enough to know that it has personal significance.

--Me