multiplicity_archives

so i did this to Deviant Art, anway I've been down on myself, trying ot see myself and come to relise all the horrble things that make me me (OMG how horrble i don't want to be in love/good frineds with potheads)

then there is just confussion and the genral beating my self "I don't like to drink, i need to, so i can be socail and have frineds...maybe I do like alcholic drinks...ho! why can't i get rid of my green eggs and ham syndrom!?" maybe I do and I convins myself? maybe i'm trying to hard to kill "myself"

so what happens then....some here seem to have the other views on people. i want to be somone differnt, fearless, a floosy. I don't like drugs, then why in the back of my head is "hahah i want my opium"
or somtimes "theres the thinking that thinks without cousious thought"

not "i will eat today" like you are speeking in your head things like {ah choking down the old snake eh?} and the likes.

so i'm a bit of a neurotic mess, a hypocondriac who thinks to much.

hey how do I tell if i'm "multiple" things become acts for to long they manfisest. I laugh at the zoophiles but "god damn that is a sexy dog!" comes up.

yes...i'm a mess. i can't find the me i want to be, it should be a hot chick, looks andogious...don't know how long i've seen this chara. I make up stories to and like to think of them playing in my head. I drempt i was a guy named dark kennith once and once i was a dog. cool? does that mean anything? are they me? or other people?

could one have others that are still them? like playing a new card? facets? or "emotionalities"?

how do i know those obsucre voices aren't me? like the sick pervs or the opium thing?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

You're confusing multiplicity with facets of your personality. It's normal to simultaneously have conflicting opinions.

i guess so, but i'm a hypocondriac kinda....

What has that to do with anything?

I think you may just not want to think of yourself as liking the things you do. (Re: calling your 'other' (or yourself) a 'sick perv').

oh yeh maybe. its an act, a mask but I'm afraid it will manafest itsself. thats what you get for having boys as friends growing up and watching Bevis and Butthead young. (or being a self proclaimed closet fur)

Unfortunately, we did not understand much of your entry or this comment.

Precisely. I'm fairly sure I'm familiar with the terms and subcultures you're talking about and I'm STILL in need of a translation. If you would slow down and use grammar, Kuwai, someone might be able to give some insight and help...

Why does that make me think of a small anime character shouting, 'KUWAIIIIIII'?

I know plenty of people who have done the above, who don't express the issues you are presenting. Perhaps you should come out of the closet about being a fur, however, if you think that that is contributing.

--Me

i'm "not that furrie" I don't really have all the fetishes, and i like the look of the anthros, its so much more fun, you can make a "Chinese" African painted dog chara...insted of a chinese chinsese princess chara, you know culturaly and what not....we have people from what not, living in other countries...they can have African Ancestory and be culturaly French and live in America...thats awsome too.

You know, yeh i'm not to into all that. I tryed making a fursona, i chose a Miacis. but may scratch that. But the dog thing. I don't know where that comes from. maybe i was one in a past life?

I don't think that you need to have the fetishes to be furry.

About the dog thing, I really can't tell you. That sort of thing is difficult to verify, and I certainly don't have the ability to do so. Alternately, the dog as a concept may be significant on some level to you. If so, maybe it's important to know why. On the other hand, maybe it's enough to know that it has personal significance.

--Me

I'm beginning to understand why you keep thinking you "should" do certain things you don't really want to do -- often, simply in order to be popular and fit in. You've made no secret of the fact that you have some very serious health concerns, and that you live in a fairly isolated environment with few opportunities for contact with anything outside the perceived norm. I still think those are a contributing factor in that they prevent you from "being just like other people". Now you've mentioned influences in your early life, while you were impressionable, that may have reinforced the idea that you "should" be doing certain things. Television has a tendency to do that overall, in any case.

This dog image keeps coming up for you. There are plenty of people who identify with animals without being "furries" or having fetishes, or even having to think of it in terms of past lives. In fact, it is normal in many world cultures. Chinese astrology includes a Dog in its cycle. Could learning more about this be helpful to you? Don't worry about whether or not you're "doing it right", just investigate and see what you think.

its "the dog joke" as i call it. or maybe i'm a canine theriterope(howhever its spelt)
you know "oh lonley sam? you have a Lab that adores you". maybe the dog is my pervert-self i don't know.

its not TV generaly that shows me what to do, its people who follow magizeens, culture and what we're made to do, media helps perpetuate ideas. we no longer dance in frount of a bonfire teaching kids the ways of being a young-whatever, or how to do a sexy jiggle-couring dance. now its "dress like a dramp and get laied while drunk!

Yes, precisely, that's what I meant by "the perceived norm". It's not TV so much as it is the people around you who believe and follow it (plus the magazines, and so on). They perceive it to be normal when in fact it is not; it is consumer culture, *resists going into full consumer culture rant*.

An example of consumer culture is an advertisement that sends the message "You should be/do/look like this, and if you don't, you should be ashamed of yourself, and be sure to buy things that bring you as close as possible to what we say you should be/do/look like."

As for the dog idea, I'd still look into it. These cultures I described that take animal totems seriously aren't all solemnity about it, oh no. There's plenty of joking around, including about sex.

joking abnout dog sex?

Hell yes! Read some unexpurgated Coyote stories some time. If you're anywhere near a university, have a browse in the folklore department. Bawdy humor about animals as well as people is a grand old world tradition. The idea, in most of these cultures, is that people and animals are really not all that far apart, and should not be.

windows :P

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