Fragmentation

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

Do any of you ever feel that you are breaking apart? Not in the sense that new people are splitting from you, but that you are blurry, undefined, unable to piece your thoughts and self together. You can't collect your thoughts, and your headmates can't reach you, even if you know they're trying...

I had one of those experiences today, and it is something I'm really not used to. We tried meditating, which helped a little, and am now getting food, which also helps. I feel disconnected from Tahl, let alone the others, even though we know there are no barricades up. Its quite frightening and disorientating.




Tahlhaz, as I see him now. Unfortunately, I can't see him right now because my brain is exploding. Click to enlarge.

Comments

[sethrenn.livejournal.com]

Usually when that happens to us, it means we're really overloaded and we need to, if in any way possible, go lie down and do either nothing for a while, or something as calm and non-stressful as possible.

Although I think for us, "not being able to piece your own thoughts together" and "not being able to figure out who 'you' at the front are right now" are generally two different issues, kind of. But sometimes identity can start to get shaky too when we're really overstimulated.

[crystalseraph.livejournal.com]

We're still figuring out how seperate we really are, and who fits where. Two of the guys are pretty well established, and they have backed off to give me and Tahl room to move, but its still hard to tell, because he is still somewhat fragmented himself. This time, it was me, the accustomed 'leader' or primary or whatever, so it was distressing for everyone.

This also leads us to wonder how I and Tahl are in relation to each other...
we initially assumed that I was the only one tied to the bodyworld, and that he could 'dip in' and share, but this makes us think that this might not be the case, and we are both capable of fronting individually. This makes us happy (I've been encouraging him to take up things he's interested in) but its also quite challenging...

I have been *extremely* stressed. What with my engagement breaking up over all this...I figured that was probably it, but hearing that others have similar experiences reassures my frazzled nerves XD